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Something they’ll use, but wouldn’t buy themselves

I love to give gifts, and I think the best/most consistent formula for a gift someone will really love is something they’ll use, but wouldn’t splurge on for themselves— so if they enjoy coffee, a nice french press or Chemex along with a good bean subscription, or even a Moka pot and milk frother for espresso drinks at home— this formula works for most occasions, and relies on knowing the person/couple. Some good standbys that I get often are: a good set of bathrobes; bathrobes make getting out of the shower much nicer, but many people wouldn’t get a really good robe for themselves; try Oddbird, Brooklinen, or LL Bean (which you can have monogrammed with a couples new initials) a good vinyl player (if they collect vinyl), or a good set of speakers if they already have a quality turntable but poor speakers, a subscription or service— for my girlfriends I usually buy a facial or a massage that they can schedule whenever, for a couple, maybe a theater subscription, a museum membership, or a couple’s massage— these are things people really enjoy but might not do for themselves, especially in the first year of marriage. I tend to avoid overly customized gifts; if it isn’t something someone wants it may accidentally go unused and is impossible to return or regift.

@nadiyaelyse

Apr 19, 2024

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ethical gift buying suitable for anyone

I see we’ve been discussing gift giving! I wrote a lot… I have strong opinions I guess…? Anyway, I feel like I often don’t know/understand what my family members like, but there are plenty of things almost anybody would use. (Note that this is not the same way I approach getting gifts for my close friends). Let’s start with specific examples: ADULTS You could get them a higher end, locally made item that anybody would use. Examples include… • hand cream • aftershave • candle • bath salts • coffee/tea Also good are things that will come in handy sooner or later, and they’ll think, “oh, _ got me that so now I don’t have to go to the store!” Such as… • phone charger (a 10ft charger that will last a while is always nice to have) • that tea/coffee you know they have every day • pet treats, if you know what kind of treats the pet likes For sentimental reasons, your parents and grandparents would LOVE a picture of you, and they’re so cheap to get printed! Just thrift a picture frame and voila. Dice game? I’ve had success with/watched people fight over… • weighted or heated blankets • personal massager (no not that kind but I would love to see someone try that) • Candy, but like, good or rare candy. For instance, I am American and I won a box of hobnobs last year, they were so good *tip: avoid alcohol - you probably have at least one current/recovering alcoholic in any given room. Live in a cold area? Try… • again, hand cream • wool gloves/mittens/socks • balaclava (just finished walking my dog and the whole time my brain was going “fuckfuckfuckIneedabalaclava”) KIDS Kids in your life under the age of 10? Go to the dollar store. They’ll never know or care how much money you spent on them. I try really hard not to get a bunch of plastic toys that will live in landfills for a thousand years. I prefer getting coloring books, finger paints, plushies, and books for kids. I have been told that they always get used and enjoyed. I also wrap their gifts in newspaper instead of buying that stupid, waxy, non-recyclable wrapping paper, because they really don’t give a fuck what it comes in. I promise. They are going to rip it to shreds either way. I have little advice for preteens/teens because I don’t have any of those around yet. However, I am only 24, and I’ll say that I remember enjoying trendy clothes and money. Pay attention to them and what they’re into though! Or ask their parents! Obviously your 14 year old goth cousin does not want lululemon. If you do that, you will be proving to them that you don’t pay attention to them, and that’s much worse than just getting them a gift card or cash. I also remember my sleeping schedule being awful, which is a universal truth for all teens, so maybe a calming pillow spray or noise cancelling earplugs? GENERAL TIPS Don’t skip this part, this is the good stuff! The crux of everything I’ve written so far! 1. Back to “ethical,” there is no need to waste your money on non-recyclable wrapping paper, bags, bows, etc. You know, that waxy, kind of shiny stuff? Your loved ones shouldn’t care that it came in an Aldi bag or the same box your new vacuum arrived in a few weeks ago. There’s also something so downright chic about presents wrapped in plain brown wrapping paper and tied with a piece of twine. 2. Really good advice you’ve probably heard before but I’ll repeat now is, “get something that they would like and use but would not splurge on for themselves.” And then get the nicer, splurge-ier version of that thing. This is a GREAT opportunity to shop local and avoid cheap plastic things. 3. If you struggle every year with gift giving for certain people, try, in preparation for next year, to subtly write down the names of restaurants/authors/musicians they mention. I keep a list in my notes app that has saved my life. 4. In that same vein, don’t be afraid to get like, hyper specific about it— last year I got my uncle a gift card for the bar I know he likes to watch football at. Something I had 100% confidence would get used. This year I think I’ll get him a gift card to the butcher shop he goes to. 5. My final and most crucial piece of advice: always think, “would I be pissed about having another thing I need to get rid of if I received this?” Some examples: if you don’t feel confident that you know someone’s interior design/personal style well, simply do not get them decor or clothes. Unless you’ve heard them mention wanting to read it, don’t get them a book. This is stuff that will get returned, sold, or donated, so all you’re doing is giving them a task they have to deal with. Like the Kanye West water bottle tweet. *final plug for shopping local: keep in mind that Amazon workers in major cities are on strike through cyber Monday! You wouldn’t cross a picket line would you? Would you???

@erikrikrika

Nov 30, 2024

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Small and thoughtful

people often overthink presents but the best ones I’ve had are usually small. Recently my bf got me Fanta flavours I love and it moved me that he remembered. Handmade gifts are always appreciated, although hard if it’s last minute! Nice soap/body stuff, a great candle, a little plant, or even just flowers and a card. A nice bound notebook with a cute pen. gift cards are often looked down on, but if they’re specific enough to someone’s taste they can be great. For example do they like cinema? cause lots of indie cinemas do gift cards! I play switch so Nintendo game cards are ways appreciated, as are any bookshop card (especially indie ones). All of these are good and easy gifts!

@mouse

May 22, 2024

Top Recs from @murdonner

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Dw

She’s hilarious

@murdonner

Nov 16, 2024

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Don’t fetishise your 20s

I’m on the wrong side of 33 and i can tell you with utmost certainty that your 20s is the most chaotic time of your life and it’s amazing that anyone actually gets anything done during them. If you’re a type a planning type personality however I would recommend: - if you’re the sort of person who cares about diet and fitness, establish those routines in your 20s - live where you wanna live. Don’t live somewhere you hate because you think you’ll have more fun later cos you won’t - get a job that makes reliable money that you can tolerate and go back to if your dreams fall through. It doesn’t have to be a dream job it just has to pay the rent and not make you sad - don't smoke cigarettes - use sunscreen - be as cringe as you want. People expect it from you anyway. They won’t have as much patience in your 30s.

@murdonner

Nov 25, 2024

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party moment

Walking into a formal celebration and taking in everyone looking and smelling good. The smell always stays with me the most—cologne, soap, hair product, cigarettes, leather, shoe polish. Everyone so clean and proud and a little bit shy. So special.

@murdonner

Dec 7, 2024