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Loud as fuck Hair Metal windows down Rain pouring hot cigarette
It doesn’t feel fair to feel this good
Like im stealing joy
Or like I’m gonna get in trouble..
that Makes it all the more fun
I think I deny myself dance and play so when the time finally feels right, it’s like I’m rebelling against my own authority
And I get this special kind of high
Dec 20, 2024
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Going in the sun for more than an hour and feeling slightly manic late into the night. Smoking cigarettes on Ritalin. gracing Parties sober and then climbing structures on a roof in brooklyn. wearing shiny things and adorning yourself with perfumery and maybe something like cashmere. Feeling a pep in your step when that one song comes on
Feb 13, 2024
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I know its not "good" for you — but neither is cocaine
OK, so you shouldn't make a daily habit of either. Yet. The occasional rush when used with intention (or.. when its placed before you through blessed happenstance) just feels soooooo groovy .. quelle power
Feb 5, 2024
Top Recs from @mommyslilstinker
I fucking love it
IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN ILL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME
PAPA PAPARAZIIIIIII
May 5, 2024
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Like a dear friend . I miss how when I would smoke a cigarette it would settle into my hair , blanketing a preexisting layer of perfume. I love the way smoke seeps into the fabric of my car, my clothes, even into my skin. Smells like my parents, my grandparents. Our old house. Dads gold Lincoln towncar that we got shot at in. And last time I saw one of those, I was picking dad up from jail, and its license plate read TRULOVE.
Dec 14, 2024
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Loneliness prevails! I would much rather live purely in solitude for ever and ever than waste another precious second in the presence of someone who has little skin in the game of knowing me or seeing me. Hearing me! I wonder why you keep me around if all your hearts desire is to hear the sound of your own voice.
It makes no difference if it’s me or anyone for that matter.
For all you know or even care I am merely an ottoman for you to rest your feet on, or a coffee table meant simply to pedestal your various notebook scrawlings and half-read books. I am a file cabinet. I have it here, dated, what you Thought and what you felt about work, or about your friends. ask me, I have it all.
And I loved it. I loved knowing you. I wanted to. I investigated and interrogated. I poured over it all with great curiosity, praying for all my red threads to weave a tapestry of you.
but I can’t remember the last time you asked me something about myself. When the opportunity arises, and god forbid, I Take it, you can barely hold your breath. Its like a shark sensing blood. You just can’t wait to talk talk talk talk talk.
But hey, it’s your life, and baby, I’m just living in it.
Dec 10, 2024