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Rec'd on 😃 How to stay happy during the holidays

i relate a lot!! take the pressure off of yourself; feel, deal, heal is my best advice. its esp more difficult depending on your family dynamics but ultimately it's just another day, wishing you the best :- )

@hydratedgoth

Dec 25, 2024

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my thoughts on the subject

first of all, such a shame this had to happen in your life. i can't even get close to imagining the pain this separation might've brought you. anyhow, the tips below might be useful for you (as they've been useful for me) :) 1. allow yourself to connect with your body while you're feeling low. the physical sensations that are contiguous to these emotions might help you identify 'em whenever they emerge. 2. allow yourself to live with such feelings/sensations while they last. letting them sit with you is easier said than done, but that's the 1st step to self soothing 3. find ways to soothe yourself while those feelings are sat within you. it's like "ok, i'm feeling (bad feeling), let me concentrate on that, let me breathe, my thoughts are prolly gonna be contaminated by it, hence why i shall not take said thoughts into account" and many other strategies that only you will be able to pull off, as you know yourself better than anyone. 4. always remind yourself that feelings, no matter how intense they might be... how ever engulfing, suffocating, enveloping they might be... are deciduous. 5. the role your friend played in your life might not be occupied as of now, and it might not be ever again... but trust the proccess. you'll grow around that shard of your life just fine. i'll sincerely wish for your wellbeing. :)

@abushimunmusick

Jan 25, 2025

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Don’t be hard on yourself

feel all you need to feel first then try to find pleasant activities that will give your brain something else to think about. therapy probably helps as well. and i hate when people say this to me but time heals all.

@paulina

Apr 20, 2024

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Learn to enjoy your own company

I like to remember that time is on your side, it will get easier as time goes by just for nature of it. So focusing on going through the day-to-day the best you can while being kind to yourself and letting the days past is what helped me. It’s not easy, you have to go through the grief to come up on the other side. But stick with the things that make your present more bearable and you WILL come up on the other side. For me it was doing things for myself: listening to music, visiting close friends, cooking for myself, going on walks on nature, spending time alone and bored and finding new things I liked and enjoying my own company was life changing. The loneliness is rough but it can be a great teacher (at least I like to think something had to come out of all that pain). I guess it really depends on the break up the narratives you are telling yourself right now, but if you can be mindful about them, observe them, and let go of trying to understand and control everything they get less cruel. Right now you just need to survive and receive some kindness, later on you can build the story around it (Without the fog of the pain around it). And for the love of god cut contact with them, their family and friends, at least for a while. rebuild yourself outside their zone of influence. Show vulnerability if you can, it can bring great support and lending ears, BE KIND TO YOURSELF (although have in mind sometimes over indulgence is not kind). You will get through it, time is on your side.