last year, albeit fantastic, has been a strange one. amidst a large quantity of new people, and new experiences, my life has changed quite drastically.
i had a hard time with this, as many do, and spoke to my mom, and my therapist, at length about this before eventually finding that despite my non-existent contentment with this change, it would not stop.
me learning to take a tiny step back and adapt to the change, rather than trying to continue life as if it had not shifted, was a real turning point for me.
all that being said, it is considerably difficult to "go with the flow" when the change is particularly life altering. however, even if it may feel like these changes may stop your earth from turning, the world will not cease to spin, and time will not stop.
hope you had a good day today 🐫
p.s. something else that helped me was trying to be extra grateful for the constants in my life!
Jan 3, 2025
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it‘s a cliche for sure, but in recent years i have become a big believer in every event, good or bad, having some sort of purpose, whether it be a big or little one. i guess this helps me to stay content in the moment because it reminds me that, “hey! i know you might be upset about this thing right now, but it’ll work out. you just have to let it.” i am a big time worrier, and i always want to control situations as much as i can, but i have found that if i just let them play out, they’ll go the way they were meant to. (and if it’s not in a good way, at least it’s a good story).
and, honestly, it helps me just remembering what a miracle it is to be alive at all; to have the blessing of living at the same time as the people i love; to feel the sun shine on my face in that very moment. we are so small in the grand scheme of things, but here we are!!! how wonderful is that!!!
it’s like in ”vienna”: “slow down, you’re doing fine, you can’t be everything you wanna be before your time.”
Sep 24, 2024
hiii i have found it is so easy to spiral when thinking about the way things are or the way they went. it is easy 2 lose yrself in a stream of whatifs forever ever with no end but just for a day when i let myself live in the present the world was clearer than it had been in years! i think you should do that more. let things go and enjoy in the present. you deserve to live
these r the rocks i found. remember the past, accept it, focus on what u want in the present. i love you and i love being alive
Sep 5, 2024
little has changed me as much as accepting the things i cannot change and acknowledging that one truth doesn't dictate another. i can have a hard day AND my friends still love me. i‘ve always had a tendency to spiral after going through something difficult or challenging and the idea of two things being true at once has kept me sane. it’s such a simple concept but it’s truly impacted me.
Jan 23, 2025
Top Recs from @alittlebitofaioli
holllllyyyy shit. dudes got crazy talent.
beautiful lyrics and backing. wow i cry ridiculously often listenjng to this.
Jan 3, 2025
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what the heck happened to penpals ?
Jan 2, 2025
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i think my main resolution is to come to some sort of internal conclusion with myself, that being me is o.k.
i’ve spent a considerably sized amount of my time on earth (a mere 16 years) picking all the facets of myself apart; why am i this way? what is the cause of my action and reaction? etc.
i would like to practice some gratitude surrounding the fact that through hardships and self curated issues i am me. i am the beautiful and flawed by-product of every stupid decision ive made and maybe im not perfect in my own vision, and yet i am, nevertheless.
i do not have to perfectly fit this strange list of categories to be a cool person, to be a good person.
and then perhaps my second resolution is to find a passion.
over the last few years of pulling myself out of slumps i seem to have lost any passions or sense of purpos. i have this strange deflated sort of career focus, but no hobbies. i work and i see my friends sometimes. i drink and i smoke, but i do not want to become what i have seen too many of my beautiful friends become. i need a silly hobby. maybe pottery, or cake decoration. something to distract me from the nine pills i take each morning just to keep me alive.
goodnight and happy new year.
Jan 2, 2025