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For as long as I’ve lived I’ve loathed the beach, but when I stopped going with my family I started to understand why people enjoy it. I go often at night to enjoy all the benefits without the heat exhaustion, but I long for the days where my father would bring his impact drill to fasten our umbrella, and his giant blue rolling cart with chairs on it.
It’s hard to not be stuck in the past when you never planned for the future.
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decided to go to the beach with my mom and siblings today when i woke up. i had initially told them i wasn’t interested in going (i still live at home and have spent all my life with them so i admittedly wanted a break). but i remembered life is short and time and how it’s spent is not promised…also i have not been to the beach in a while. so, on a whim, i decided to suck it up. i should be appreciative of the life i have while i have it. maybe i’ll find some sea glass and pretty shells :)
Aug 6, 2024
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There’s a beach at South West Rocks in northern NSW called Trial Bay. It is the only place in my childhood that I remember being really, genuinely happy.
I haven’t been there in probably close to twenty years now but I can still taste the salt water when I would accidentally swallow it if I went into the proper surf, and the sweetness of this green apple syrup I would get on my snow cones that a random fella would sell there every summer. The sunburns I would get were insane because I would just spend all day snorkelling in the shallows. There wasn’t anything that interesting to look at but I was captivated by the idea that there was like a whole other little world under the surface of the water.
Whenever I think about what being at peace would feel like for me I think about those days at that beach.
Feb 16, 2025
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Bit sad? beach
Feb 4, 2024
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I get crushes on people easy.
I sort of imagine a life with someone only after thinking about them a couple times. right now I have about four crushes, but I think it’s my want of a relationship, so so bad.
Equally I do not admit feelings for people. I would rather encourage someone to get in a relationship with someone else than admit my feelings, it’s like tending to an overgrown garden.
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I used to have a “littlest pet shop” YouTube channel and was curious about others relationship with toys. I still collect toys because I don’t think being an adult means you need to stop.
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Todays photo is an hour late, and I realize that I’m counting on nobody but myself to keep myself accountable. I feel like I‘ve wronged myself, but growth only halts if you don’t let yourself breathe.
Anywho, here’s this ray of sun. I’ve been having trouble fixing my sleep schedule, if anyone’s ever heard of revenge bedtime procrastination, I think I fall victim (or rather punish myself) to it. Any tips on how to overcome it? Somehow I convince myself it’s better to stay up..
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