Dude, I'm gonna level with you as someone who works at a suicide hotline, the world is a shitty, shitty place and that means seeing a good future is close to impossible sometimes. Hope is a choice more than a feeling. You're not always going to see that light at the end of the tunnel, and that's okay. It's unreasonable, with everything going on in the world, and with everything going on with your own life, to expect you to feel like it's going to be okay. But you can know, logically, that there are actionable steps you can take toward things getting better, and you're going to trust that that light's there anyway and keep pushing towards it. The world is a shitty place, but it only gets worse when good people give up. You keep hope alive by not giving up, you keep hope alive by trusting there are people who are still fighting too. And that's a skill, you know? Finding a way to grit your teeth and put your faith in yourself and others isn't easy, but I promise it'll get easier with time and practice.
There's a rec going around this morning about hope as a discipline, and I think that it captures quite a bit of what I'm trying to say here, but what it doesn't capture is that it's hard and it sucks a lot of the time. Maintaining hope is hard, and you should be proud of yourself for trying.