Telling people who come over (and are not allergic to cats) that I can’t wait for them to meet my pups and then I introduce them to my cats. I refer to the cats as dogs, pups, etc. and the person is like “lol that’s a cat“ and I’m like “lolllll…um…that’s a dog. 💅”
When something isn’t for me, I do a lil Shark Tank bit. Say I got some food that wasn’t for me, I would say, for instance, like, “The food was unbelievably salty, lukewarm, and had an egregious texture- and for those reasons- I’m out.”
When someone is being bossy in the kitchen I do a lil 🫡 and say “YES CHEF”. When someone is being bossy about questions I say “YES YOUR HONOR.” When someone is being bossy about giving a direction to do something I say “🫡 SIR YES SIR.”
Overexplaining a bad joke as part of the bit. Like really taking it far with trying to explain the joke and why it makes sense to you. I did this unironically at first but then I was like maybe it can just be part of the joke, explaining the joke a whole lot, so it’s part of the joke now.
Asking my wife “Do you want to hear a song I recorded?” and then putting on a song that she knows, like “Retrograde” by James Blake and being like ”how do you like my vocals on this track?” and then when she says ”yeah it’s good” I say “thanks, it’s one of my favorite songs I recorded- you can look it up online, the song is “Retrograde“ and I recorded it under the name Hames Blakay- spelled James Blake.”
Sending your best friend a voice note doing a YouTube Karaoke of “Higher” by Creed. Telling them you also take YouTube Karaoke requests.
Creating bitmoji soap operas through text with your best friend. Going in really creating the visuals, voices, and personalities of full on characters and everything.
