Something that helps me a lot is reminding myself that we all tend to evaluate our own actions under a microscopic lens, observing problems that others would never pick up on because they’re not looking at us that closely. We tend to be much more critical of our own actions than those of others. And everyone does it! So reminding myself of this fact helps prevent me from spiraling.
ALSO: It can be very helpful to bring up a concern about something you did or said to a friend who was present at the time. 9/10 times they will tell you they hardly noticed it (if at all) and that it did not come off the way you feared. True friends will always accept you as you are and, as much as your anxiety brain would have you think otherwise, do not secretly hate you or think you’re lame!
Feb 4, 2025
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I feel like I’ve always associate being realistic with not fantasizing about stuff but I need the reminder it should apply to being hard on yourself too!! No matter how many mistakes I make (and there’s a lot of them), it’ll literally never warrant the vitriol I’m so comfortable doling out to myself!
2d ago
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I feel like when things go wrong in our lives it’s easy to blame the world for our issues and very few times do we take the time to reflect on ourselves and check if we are the ones making mistakes. Having flaws is natural but one must take responsibility for their action. Do a little self check and improve yourself constantly! (Be careful not to blame yourself for everything though)
Jun 7, 2024
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A healthy exercise for all of us that have to cooperate with other humans on a day to day basis. (I think most of us, right??)
From my experience working as a cook in a kitchen: major f-ups happens all the time. Maybe because something were not communicated properly, maybe because someone is a bit off or maybe because something important was just completely forgotten about by everyone.
Usually it's not a big deal, you re-strategise, change the game plan and everything works out just fine in the end. What I've noticed is that when people start calling each other out... that is when shit really begins to hit the fan.
To loudly announce "Who did WHAT??", "Why the FUCK would anyone ever??" or just "IDIOT!" are maybe sooome of the more obvious ways cooks telegraphs their feelings regarding these f-ups and mistakes, at least in a not so healthy workplace. Usually it is not this obvious, you probably know about these ways of critique since they're universal. Everywhere where mistakes and f-ups happen there'll always be people glaring, mumbling and trying to subtly imply who's guilty or just find someone to put the blame on and make feel bad. Somehow this always seems to be more relevant than to power through and solve the problems. WEIRD, I know.
But how do I go about trying to not be that guy, the guy more concerned about who did it rather than finding a solution, and what do I suggest you should do to avoid becoming that guy?
Whenever you find yourself in a situation where a mistake affects you, whether someone bumps into you at the grocery store or you and your peers fail to accomplish that common goal you all had in mind, the first thing that should pop into your mind is "What could I have done different to avoid this?". Always assume it's your fault.
Why? Because you know. You know FOR SURE it was a mistake, you know FOR SURE you didn't want this to happen to you or affect anyone around you. Sometimes shit happens, maybe you were tired, inattentive or just having a bad day, it doesn't matter. What matters is that it was an honest mistake and not your ~intention~. Now you may strive to correct it and make sure it won't happen again (even though it might and it'd be okey).
After this moment of self reflection you might find yourself in a situation where you come to the conclusion... fuck, I did nothing wrong... They did. What do you do then? Go through a similar train of thought, be kind, assume they meant no harm and that it was a honest mistake. Without bad intentions I think it should be difficult to be truly upset.
In the long run I think this exercise have helped me becoming more of self reflecting person, more kind towards other and especially towards myself. Whenever I don't live up to my own expectations I just reflect about what I should've done differently to achieve the result I want rather than thinking of myself as worthless. This to me is a huge key to improving and actually learning.
Thanks for the read if you made it this far!
And to all of you who think this is obvious stuff,
to a lot of people it's not.
Trust me on that one.
Feb 5, 2024
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Oh, you wanted me to do this enormous task in an impossible amount of time? No u didn’t :) I’m actually not gonna do that, and good luck finding someone who will :-)
Feb 24, 2025
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I did this recently on a date with someone who I met irl who asked me out. I generally don’t wear a ton of makeup anyways, and once I start up in a relationship with someone they’ll see me far more frequently without makeup than with makeup on. While I’m a firm believer that makeup drastically improves my appearance and that I’m pretty average/plain looking without it, I figure it’s a more honest depiction of my physical being to go without it. It’s a real challenge for me to go on dates without wearing any and it’s been an interesting experiment in letting go of my negative self-image.
Note: I don’t want this to be interpreted as anti-makeup propaganda. Make no mistake, i love a beat face and i love the art of applying makeup!! im just sometimes too lazy to bother, even for a date.
Feb 13, 2025
I’m literally obsessed with this brand. It’s so camp and the pieces are so unique and well made, definitely has an emphasis on statement pieces rather than everyday basics (although they do have some of the latter). Penelope Gazin is the evil genius behind the brand and her marketing strategy is hilarious. From the logo to the item descriptions to the name of the brand itself (every time I tell someone about this brand they look at me like I’m joking when I tell them the name), everything is imbibed with subtle satirical humor. I believe she once described it as an “anti-marketing marketing strategy”. Anyways, I know it’s not the most affordable but its a small business with ethical practices that I enjoy supporting when I can.
Feb 27, 2025