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I’m going in an inpatient program for maybe three weeks before I go to an outpatient program and live in an apartment with someone to help get back on my feet. On August 20th I was in a near fatal car accident on the way to work, I lost my car and my job all in the same week. I’ve been so depressed I would go a whole week at times without taking a shower or doing anything and then starting abusing stimulants again for the dopamine, it’s been a toxic cycle but I’m ready for it to be over and even though I’m scared I’m also excited to get my life back.
Feb 7, 2025
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You got this! it may be a rough journey but going into it with a positive mindset is going to make it so much easier :)
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I am going to be doing ECT soon, maybe next week, hopefully. I‘ve tried Ketamine, TMS, 15-20 medications, DBT, CBT (continuous), daily vitamins (omega 3, vitamin D, B6, B12, methylfolate), mushrooms, and am trying to change my diet as I have a moderate to serious binge eating disorder.
I might make this a diary of my experience with ECT.
So today (and yesterday and the day before), I feel and have felt empty and fatigued and unmotivated and weepy and dizzy and sad. I hope this is temporary.
Feb 6, 2025
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every body and mind is different but from maybe 16-22 I had been taking a myriad of prescriptions for my mental health while I balanced school. Had felt incredibly emotionally stunted and unfeeling or impulsive while taking several kinds of medications and got worse, was unreceptive to any therapeutic help during life stresses and landed in hospitals multiple times. Making any kind of change to a poly pharmacy routine is … risky
In the middle of the onset of COVID lockdowns I weaned myself off meds with my doctors assistance and did very intensive psychotherapy, got more active and got a job that I enjoyed. Experienced very deep personal losses in friend and family as well as relationships. I teetered on the edge so many times, but I do not regret any decision I’ve ever made because I have the tools and willpower to take over any conflict and talk myself through it
Again every one is different but if you feel like something isn’t working for you, take charge over what you can do for your own mental wellbeing
Apr 3, 2024
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Yesterday marked a year of being on adhd meds, and also a year of being sober as I stopped drinking to start my meds and then never went back. That year has been life changing, I can do more than I have been able to in 6 years (I was diagnosed with ME/CFS in 2018). I finished therapy after 5 years. I have a stable loving relationship with our anniversary next month, Im able to help my grandma as her eyesight diminishes, and help my sister with raising my nice and nephew. I finished making the record I’d been trying to make for probably a decade, that’s announced next month. I’ve won poetry prizes. I’m doing part time editing work for my neighbour. I’m happy. I can get out of bed most days. I’ve spent my whole adult life, and most of my childhood, trying to feel better. I wasn’t always sure it was possible, but I keep trying regardless. It took too long, but it worked.
Feb 27, 2024
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