she was starting grad school, I said can I come with? still here 6+1/2 years later.
doing a big move with someone I trust made the process less daunting, and we knew there was no commitment to live together for forever
When I'm done with my stint in grad school, I'll probably do something similar: find someone moving to join in with, or wait till a friend in a city is looking for a new lease/roommate and suggest I move in with them
Wishing you safe transit to a happier place <3
Related Recs
new to Los Angeles and been hopping around the city; why commit to one neighborhood when I can check it all out 2 months at a time. also I get to take care of HER at this one😻
Aug 5, 2024
🐈
this March i moved out from my parents' to my own appartment, at first it was scary bc i didn't think I would be able to afford living by myself and keep my two cats, sometimes we're tight on money but so far it's been the best year I can think of, I've learned a lot from living on my own and I was able to do lots of things that I couldn't if I had stayed with my parents, like focusing on my own and on my projects and travelling with friends I'm really looking forward to next year <33
Dec 31, 2024
🏘
my partner and i were presented with the opportunity to move into a friend’s slightly larger and more amenitied apartment up the block, but we’d have to break our lease to do so lol
listed our apartment on facebook marketplace to see if anyone was interested in signing the lease so we could move, essentially just putting out feelers and seeing what happened. did not expect to receive dozens upon dozens of messages! i scheduled tours and showed like six people around, all of whom were like where can i sign! and i called our landlord twice.
met with the landlord of the new place and got the paperwork….. truly in the final steps…. only to get home and realize, you know what,,, we’re staying here! and it was literally such a relief to say it.
did it take hundreds of messages from people begging for me to leave my apartment to truly viscerally process that i’ve got a good thing? perhaps!
but i think it was more that i had been in a scarcity mindset of like, “when we move and i have more space i’ll be able to… make the art i want; really feel at home; feel more comfortable; etc.” and when i really dug into those feelings about it, i simply knew that my home right now presents a growth opportunity to work creatively with the space i have.
didn’t want to admit to myself that i was in that space of forcing things because i initially just wanted to move so badly, i was literally bypassing my felt experience and like, true reactions.
i also felt like it fell into our laps and was this once-in-a-lifetime thing. but really trying to now reinforce that a two bedroom w a dishwasher, balcony, and some bedrooms that look out onto the neighbors’ walls is not inimitable. and i want to approach this process from a space where im resourced and generally tranquil.
so i’m happy and i’m not moving and im going to buy myself an $8 latte this morning to celebrate!!!!
Apr 25, 2024
Top Recs from @fetadata
I know slavoj zizek is a fucking loser now, but his movie A Pervert's Guide to Ideology was the first piece of media that began to rub away the sheen/shellac of pretense that the world operates smoothly. It was my first time really engaging with a Marxian analysis and sitting with it. I was in high school, and it set me up to care about critical theory. From this movie, I'd read Mark Fisher's really quick book "Capitalist Realism: is there no alternative?" Fisher grounds a lot of his theory in culture/media in a very similar way to Zizek.
After that, I'd follow recommendations made by others in the thread!
Jun 18, 2024
😃
1. Scroll the "everyone" feed (almost completely ignore that home/friends page)
2. Like gratuitously
3. Follow people who post things you like
4. I try to be brave and comment when feeling moved
I don't search or look for anything in particular, personally, unless I'm about to post something and curious if others have done so already. Just let the river float by and enjoy the ride
Feb 8, 2025
🎉
When I list the things that are off bounds for a first time interaction, I then realize the sheer amount of things that are in bounds! I sort of have 3 big no-no's for first time convos, and you can decide for yourself if these feel right for you:
- party politics [I leave other kinds of politics in as fair game: class warfare or the rise of fascism or the opportunity for anarchic community building, etc.]
- religion
- personal finances
there are probably others, but those are the big 3 imo.
from there, I like to ask lots of how questions:
- how did you feel when you discovered your latest favorite song? can you pinpoint why it made you feel that way?
- how did you meet the host?
- how did you get into that hobby/line of work/subculture?
- how do you find joy/inspiration/motivation in your daily life?
- how do you like to dance?
- how good is this coors/pabst/french onion dip/potato chip/music/etc?
- how long has it been since your last speeding ticket?
- how long do you think you could last without eating a potato?
etc.
you could also ask any of the fun questions that perfectlyimperfect asks:
- fave things to put on toast
- your go-to email signature
- unique staple in your fridge
BUT TRULY!!! spencerto is right: don't over do it!
Jul 20, 2024