But I call him poopie, monkey, pukicho, angel bear, or munino.
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Feb 14, 2025

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I am pretty certain that I am with the person I'm going to marry. We've been through so much together and no one in the world has ever known me as intimately as he does. My soul is crystal clear to him. And he loves me. Most importantly, he is always ready to learn even more about me and to evolve with me and to make space for me in his life, in his habits, and in his behaviour. I love him so much. I'm so lucky. I hope I find him in all my other lives. I hope we're together until the end of time.
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For whatever reasons the various psychiatrists that have treated me will give, I was a reclusive child, especially when it came to my emotions. I kept parts of myself hidden from certain people, always a different kid to everyone I met. I kept this up through my adulthood and now I'm realizing how much it's barring me from experiencing my relationships deeply. I protect parts of myself, uncomfortable with their coming out in situations I'd typically hide them in. I am too good at code switching and it gets confusing figuring out when I am being truly myself around friends and family. I am trying to learn where I can crack little holes into the walls I have carved around the many parts of myself; learn to make them all coexist a bit better so I can let myself be loved wholly, not only in parts.
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