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When I was little and we would drive back from a religious event for a god I didn't believe in, the car tense in ways that you only understand if you know too much about your parents and they know nothing about each other or you, my little sister asleep in the back next to me, I'd watch the moon. It was comforting finding her shining up there. So far away from my small life, so cold, so bright.
And then when I was a bit older, fully embroiled in my Percy Jackson obsession, I'd picture Artemis up there as the moon, bounding along by, always watching over me. I'd think of Thalia and the other Huntresses and pledge to myself never to sacrifice myself for a man after seeing what they could do to the women I knew. I'd walk home from swim practice or be back in my parents car, talking to Artemis in my head, not believing she was actually there, but needing someone who was listening.
In college, going home late from a friend's apartment, or just a late evening in the lab, I'd walk with one earbud in pepper spray in hand, alert. But I'd always pause to look at the moon, feeling grateful, protected against all reason in the moonlight. My constantly changing consistent friend.
And now I don't see her as much, rarely outside at night undistracted. I pause every time I do though. A silent reminder of how small I really am in the face of everything. Not alarming but soothing somehow. I'm doing my best, I don't have to be perfect. She will always be there to watch me go on.
Feb 16, 2025
Related Recs
Orion and I share a bond unlike any other constellation—a quiet understanding woven through the years, a celestial companion who has watched me grow
I first met Orion at summer camp, lying on a hammock beneath the starry sky. I didn’t know its name then, I was only stargazing, thinking about the vastness of the cosmos. but something about those three stars, perfectly aligned, lingered in my mind
then it followed me home. night after night, I found it outside my bedroom window, hovering above my bed, where I laid my head to rest. it became part of my ritual—before sleep, I’d wave to Orion like an old friend, and then we kissed each other goodnight. even when the it was cloudy, I still searched for it, hoping for a flicker of Betelgeuse to break through the darkness
I even got it tattooed on me. now etched into me like a compass pointing to my past. it’s a reminder of where I’ve been, of late-night whispers to the sky, of restless dreams and youthful longing. a constellation turned talisman, marking the distance I have traveled
maybe one day, in a place far from home, another constellation will find me. perphaps I will create a new bond, and it will guide me in ways Orion once did
for now I’m still here, patiently waiting for senior year to end and waiting for a new chapter of my life to begin, and most likely there will be a new constellation to guide me throughout my journey…
Feb 27, 2025
hey hey!!!!!! i’m so glad youre here! i went on another run tonight. let me tell you about it. my knee hurts, i tweaked it last night, but i started nice and steady. i like to run at night, often late, so a 1 am run is not out of the ordinary for me.
i usually take a road by my house that leads out of town until the streetlights stop. if it’s not yet sunset, i’ll go another mile or so along the road before turning back at nightfall. on my lucky days, the sky paints itself rosy, and wisps of clouds turn alight with oranges and reds. that, juxtaposed against the brightest blue imaginable makes for a pretty picture to distract myself from whatever pain boils in whatever part of my body. i have endometriosis, so oftentimes when i work out, i’ll cramp in ways that would humble a god.
so i enjoy watching the sun tuck itself into the ground. my favorite part is undoubtedly the brilliant magenta color that only comes if the clouds are at just the right elevation. after the sun drops to wherever it’s needed next, and the rest of the sky’s blues deepen, ultimately saturating the ochre hues right along the horizon, i turn around. show’s over, i gotta get home.
but, when i’m out past 11, and the sky is clear, the farthest point is where i stop and turn my head to the heavens.
i’m lucky to live on the edge of a national park and in close proximity to total darkness. the stars here are fantastic. many nights, i’ll wander a little off the road and lay down to stargaze. the faint outline of the milky way, precious cosmic glitter; i’ve loved all of it since i was little.
anyway, tonight, i got out to where the street lamps ended, but something stopped me. i took off my headphones and just stood there, listening. i gazed up, stunned by the beauty of the stars. after more than a few minutes spent in awe, i saw something small trot across the road behind me. its tail was unmistakable. a fox, silent as night, the first one i had seen since i was a child. it sailed through the trees by the road, pausing every so often to smell around or investigate a patch of ground. it’s always shocking to me, how quiet it gets out there. even the wind, that slices right through my two jackets, makes no noise. unmistakably eery, probably sacred, and known only to me. i am so incredibly fortunate. it’s the kind of thing you find when you disregard everyone entirely; having an idea, and executing it, no thought to if it’s fucking insane or not.
i continued back along the lit road, taking a detour on a dark offshoot to elongate my run. the stars shone there too, but near the end of the street the shadows configured too darkly, the trees lining the sidewalk felt as if they were entombing rather than accompanying me. so, i called my brother and breathlessly caught up with him, as i turned around once more to make my way home. and i saw a shooting star!
so there. fox and shooting star. because i was a pussy and didn’t press my luck during one of my (admittedly questionable) daily habits. i love them! i’m going to keep them in my brain like a keychain. a fox and a shooting star jingling next to my house key. isn’t that lovely.
Oct 27, 2024
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In the morning, you’re dazed due to the impact of the soft sounds of the river. Just like a tune designed just for this moment, noises enter your ear and remain constant. It is your choice to walk away from it as when you start taking a few steps towards ‘escape’, the streams will not be able to reach you anymore.
Just stare at it and enjoy the peace for a minute. Enjoy the gentle warmth radiated from the big star above you, embrace the tickling breeze that kindly kisses your cheeks. As if it were a group of fairies, the luminous forms of glitter huddle together then fall apart by the motions of gravity. Against or willing, they carry out their moments independently and flow with time.
You close your eyes and for a second, life feels wonderful. It feels like you are living in its peak and there is no route for returning back into gloom. Take a few breaths in, decide to let loose and fall on your back without damage. Realize that it would be best for you to keep it sealed for a while and fall asleep.
When you finally wake up from the accidental spending of a few hours, your receptors do not detect much light from the scenery now. The Sun also decided to rest and gifted the Moon, introducing a variation to the glint.
Now, you feel calmer than ever. Nothing really matters, it’s only you and the dark, present in this living moment. The river still giggles, but you can’t really see its smiles anymore; the only motion you detect from it are the parts that rely on the Moon. After-all, the Moon doesn’t emit light by itself and is also dependent on the Sun’s attitude. However, the circle wouldn’t have been drawn and presented if it wasn’t for its existence so who are we to judge?
Jan 29, 2025
Top Recs from @moonbeams
There's nothing like seeing the city from a plane windows. Sparkling like stars down there. The little people in their little cars and twinkling homes. Feels so bittersweet and human somehow.
Feb 22, 2025
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like damn who curated this, these songs are so good, I really know my tastes well
Feb 28, 2025
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More specifically, watching your favorite rom com and then your crush's favorite rom com (is there an adult word for crush), back to back at the same time as they are watching them. But instead of the social exhaustion of video calling you just text while you watch them. Even better you guys like each other mutually, so it should be exhilerating, but they cannot and will not be with you so instead it's just a lesson in your terrible self restraint. Exhilerating anyway. Good movies, good conversation. Unbeatable.
Mar 2, 2025