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saying “i’m sick” when you’re sick is boring. instead, here are some more funky fresh and cool ways to disclose that your immune system has been highjacked (it’s time to revive these sayings from the dead!): “i am indisposed” “i am taken ill” “i am feeling out of sorts” “i am suffering from a bilious attack” “i have been seized by an ague” “i am afflicted with a malaise” “i have taken to my bed” “the vapours have overcome me” “i have a touch of the influenza” “the rheumatism plagues me” “i am laid low with a fever” “i am afflicted with a troublesome ailment” you’re welcome
Feb 18, 2025

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“I’m ailing” “The consumption grips me” “I’ve been visited by bacterial colonists“
Feb 19, 2025
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Mine spirit doth require harbour The languor of my flesh bids me to retire Alas, I am beset by a malady
Feb 18, 2025
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softshelled you have one upped me in the best way
Feb 18, 2025
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Excellent. Also: “I have become one with the sand” “i have been touched by the vile tempers” “mercy has left me shipwrecked on the shores of a distemperate isle” “i Have been trampled by the horses of Nergal”
Feb 18, 2025
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sick rn, ive been saying ive been struck down
Feb 18, 2025
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my favorite is "i am in a bad way"
Feb 18, 2025
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I have caught my death
Feb 18, 2025
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mama’s got the nasty jam
Feb 18, 2025
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love "I am indisposed" and "I am feeling out of sorts" because it's always true, I don't even need to be ill
Feb 18, 2025
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moonbeams its tattooed over my heart fr
Feb 18, 2025
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i once texted my boss “my body has overtaken me“ to call in sick and she told me to come in the next day lol now imma use these to annoy her
Feb 18, 2025
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An amazing service you’ve done. But how does one pronounce ague
Feb 18, 2025
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motherslayer that ones a fun one. the first time i ever read the word i thought it was “awg“ it is actually “ay-gyoo”
Feb 18, 2025
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I feel like i just read a bit of Jane Eyre
Feb 18, 2025
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I can’t wait to use these thank you
Feb 18, 2025

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recently i was suddenly BEDRIDDEN for like a week. and while i thought i would die from fever i: -drained a bottle of robotussin (you can use any cold medicine you like as long as it puts you into a painless haze and gives you strange dreams, this will make the experience a spiritual one) -take this opportunity to binge a show and let beverages and snacks pile up at your bedside. we working adults don’t often have this opportunity. for me it was twin peaks, the fever increased the already hallucinogenic experience of the show. -called friends and family -i really dont know, probably just take advantage of the time to chill and nap because it’s rare. hope you get better soon!
Feb 4, 2025
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getting sick was something that was inevitable eventually, especially as i havent been sick in two and a half years. i went to sleep last night feeling a bit muddled and woke up with a sore throat and a head cold. i'm grateful that i only have a little sickness and that i have a proper excuse to lounge around (despite my to-do list). im in bed, underneath five blankets, four stuffed animals, three pillows, a scone, a book, my journal, my laptop, and my second medicine ball of the day. being a little sick is very good indeed.
Nov 24, 2024
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headache and a sore throat combo will have you contemplating life, wondering where it all went wrong, promising to eat healthy and stop abusing your body. can’t wait to be out of this physical prison so i can go back to taking advantage of my health.
Feb 23, 2024

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tried reading dante alighieri’s inferno. key emphasis on tried. i got bored and realised a story written in poem form is not my typa beat. i tried because it seemed like what all the indie hipsters who are well versed would read, and that i would look cool and niche—but it just cost me $25. i prefer crazy detailed paragraphs rather than a line by line story. anyways
Feb 17, 2025
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As a forager, I can really tell you that people are surprised and sometimes grossed out when I say I go and gather my food from the wild. We have normalised big supermarket chains as our only source of food, when in reality, if you learn the land you’re on, you’re surrounded by abundance that is free. It is an art that demands your time and attention, it demands you learn your land and how she changes through the seasons, and she allows you to learn what plants and mushrooms will give you sustenance in each season change. But she demands it in such a gentle, rewarding way, and to me—it’s enthralling. There are plants and mushrooms that share similarities to their edible counterpart, but are in fact extremely toxic. Being able to discern them is rewarding, and creating a delicious meal with them even more so. You know where you food has come from, and the journey it has taken to get to your plate. You know what plants have certain medicinal benefits and what season to look out for them in. You spend time in nature, you exercise while you gather. You have appreciation for each season and what yield it will bring you. It’s a very grounding act. Unfortunately, in some countries foraging is illegal due to reasons that are rooted in racism, which makes me a stronger believer that the law should be challenged. I believe some places in America it is illegal to forage, as well as some places in Australia. It’s a shame. tldr: fek big azz cooperate companies, get free food outside because the cost of living inflation SUCKS (and have fun while doing so)
Jan 28, 2025