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I'm still trying to find the balance with my absolute love and comfortableness being alone but also feeling deep loneliness.
I’ve found that so many of the most memorable moments of my life have happened alone or they‘re isolated connections/visions/dreams that I’ve had that won’t make sense to anyone else.
Sharing parts of yourself, especially creative work, is a ritual sacrifice, albeit a necessary one in order to maintain the balance of things. The artist must bare everything, soul and all, and basically becomes a sacrificial lamb, regardless of how well you guard it.
It’s not an easy thing to do, but it can be done with lots of practice and patience, I’ve still got a long way to go myself. It also really helps to find the RIGHT people to open yourself up to, this is a major dilemma I had for a long time, but eventually everything falls into place.
There’s a balance to be had with being comfortable alone and being comfortable around other people, but the right people.
I hope this makes sense and I’m not just rambling on here.
i only feel like myself when I'm alone bcs when I'm being perceived by other people i start acting unlike myself or i freeze up :( i don't know how to be myself. Hermit life is the only life that seems to suit me. But it feels so lonely, giving up the chance of real connection because i am too scared to be me, or don't know how to be me. Hiding myself, what i think, what i do or want to do, because i am afraid and I hate being dishonest.
sometimes a work of art no longer becomes just ours when we put it out into the world. but that can be a wonderful thing! though we may feel we know ourselves entirely, there are things we just can't know about ourselves until we are in the company of others. maybe it just comes down to finding a group of people you trust and feel comfortable around and sharing your art there.
I can definitely relate and for me the actual feeling of loneliness is present when around other people; it’s different from solitude where you’re free from other influences and the perceptions and judgments of others. I think you have to be able to recognize that people are projecting onto you or flattening you and learn when to tune out. I think finding the right audience is also very important…
Every single part of myself that I put out into the world is a humiliation and I don’t think that will ever change. If I give it any amount of thought it becomes too much to bear so I don’t indulge in it. I think self-consciousness can go hand in hand with intellectualizing and analysis paralysis rather than just feeling and trusting and intuiting and I think that’s the kind of vibe that you have to connect with…
