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ok guys this is it i think it’s like all of my organs have been ripped out of my body except it didn’t kill me and now i have to just endure all the pain
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nauseated. sweaty. in a confused haze. limbs feeling like jelly. pulses of cold. room spinning. just totally feeling like shit is when i feel closest to god. i love suffering. just absolute pure bottom of the barrel of human emotion. to be chewed up and spit out by this realm. dragged by the hair through the primordial soup. incarnating just to touch the wound. so fucking funny to me. all i can do is laugh
May 30, 2024
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Whenever I get sick I’m like “my body hurts so bad I wish I had appreciated when I wasn’t in pain…” and now I am in pain so it’s gonna be so good when I’m normal again
Feb 29, 2024
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situs inversus totalis
look it up. every organ in my torso rests in the mirrored position from how it's supposed to be (i.e. my heart is more on the right side)
Apr 27, 2024
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i neeeed to have a smashed up iphone 7 in my hand right now!!!! there is nothing like it. the sun felt brighter, the air felt cleaner, i didn't know good music yet, i didn't know good movies yet, my brain was just empty. no opinions on anything, all i did was look at screen, cry, sleep, and eat. now i have to do stupid things like work at h&m and be angry at the world. i wanna go on musically and watch jason derulo dance in 2x speed and look like an animatronic. i want to watch the fosters with my mom and be so young and stupid i don't understand what the big deal about callie and brandon is. i wanna be amused by hour long wisdom teeth videos. i want to make friends with random people online that i won't even remember a year later. i want to tell my mom my stomach hurts and i need to stay home from school 4/5 days of the week! give it back!!!!
Feb 3, 2025
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i want to be able to see if people are thinking what i am at the exact moment that i think it. same with spotify i think that would be so fun. i don't want to have to leave the source to talk about it.
Feb 24, 2025
new headphones finally. maybe i’ll get out of this awful depressive episode finally. i’m me again. linked my spotify btw 😏😝
Feb 5, 2025