🩻
and all that has loved me, dead or alive.
humanity is such a fragile thing, cherish it, squint at the sun, be happy for your friends and their wins, be happy for yourself and your wins, be happy for the people smiling across the street. don’t waste the miniscule, unimportant, tiny fraction of a cosmic second that is our lifetime being an asshole. love everyone and love yourself i love love i give love and i receive it. i love my surroundings, my bed, my family who i come home to every day, my mom and dad who do so much for me, my sister who is always there for me and has been my best friend for life, my pets (come home stevie, we miss you), access to food and water, my friends who i truly cherish, nature, the wind and the breeze, music, oh the music of life how the birds chirp and the streams swell and fall and dance around the wet earth guiding the arrival to the calm rivers, the vast waterfalls, the sun and moon, eternally locked in a neverending dance that gives us another day, a fresh start. my silly little device that connects me with everyone in a second, and i can talk to my friends and say hi and that i love them i actually love everyone i’m sorry is that a problem? i love how everyone looks so different and how everyone is living a vivid life and has problems and situations as complex as mine (there’s a word for that i think) and i love how everyone has different scars and birth marks and hair and eyes and i love how everyone acts a little different and has their own personality and spin on things and i love art and how being is an art in and of itself, to exist is to persist. i love how i can give back to my community, i love volunteering it makes me so emotional when i’m finished because i love helping whenever i can i’m not trying to sound self righteous or anything. i love pushing my body to its limits in sport, i love running and i love dancing so so much i love moving my body and creating art in synchronicity with music. i love water, the beach, sand, i love lakes, sunsets, that feeling of silence but not loneliness. i love being outside and just sitting, no thoughts, just wanting to live out a moment forever. but i also love living past that moment and living another moment and another and soon i will post this and then 8 months later look back on this and smile and love it. i actually am ok and it’s all going to be ok and i love you and everything
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Now this, this is what I’m talking about. Love your emotional intelligence. Cherish that.
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you know what i find really interesting? that i’ve never not started a big little post like this without the words “you know what i find really interesting”?
anyone who has ever met me has been a victim of this same quote, with no fault of their own, i am but a broken record
“the entirety of your life is either waiting for the really good things or the really bad things” (my father)
you know what i find really interesting?
numbness.
not it’s presence , not its absence, rather the fact it exists at all.
i am
moved
by the fact i can be moved
i often wonder if i have felt the entirety of emotions possible my disposal
have i ever really been in love?
can i look upon you with tears in your eyes and say, definitively, i know how you feel?
is your happiness mine? do you understand my desires as i understand yours? i am but words on a screen and pixels that stand before you in their own right, words that are not contingent on your comprehension yet secretly hope and pray they do not fall on deaf ears.
i do not need your validation, but i want it. tell me i am beautiful, or smart, or that the funny words i use are any different than another teenage girls, tell me you know too what it is like to be numb, and sad, and happy, and hungry.
why do we write? why do we express? to remind you that i too am human, grappling with my own mortality every day? am i writing for you?
Feb 11, 2025
😃
I don’t want to pretend that I don’t care about you that I don’t wonder how are you doing. That I don’t feel the frustration that you are going through and not reach a hand out. You know I think about about all the people that I loved and I never gotten a chance to tell them that because I’m too scared to tell how I feel to bear my soul to them to expose myself. I am scared of how they reacted thinking that my love is too much. That it might suffacate you. Well I don’t want want to do that any more I don’t want fear to rule my life. I don’t want words to go being unsaid. I love you and I care about you. And I don’t want to punish myself for that. This world is scary and I don’t know why we punish ourselves for wanting to connect with the people we want to. The ones we are drawn to. My love for you has no expectation no analysis no Freud. I care and I love because I simply to. I want to spend an average day beyond these simple pleasantries beyond this conversation. And I want you to know that. That no matter what I am here for you and I would do anything for you. And I see you. I see you beyond the charactures of personality that we curate to blend in. I see you. And I see the pain. And I see the joy. And I want to be there. And I want nothing. I just want you to let me love you.
Apr 23, 2024
🫶
I love you
because the Earth turns round the sun
because the North wind blows north
sometimes
because the Pope is Catholic
and most Rabbis Jewish
because the winters flow into springs
and the air clears after a storm
because only my love for you
despite the charms of gravity
keeps me from falling off this Earth
into another dimension
I love you
because it is the natural order of things
I love you
like the habit I picked up in college
of sleeping through lectures
or saying I’m sorry
when I get stopped for speeding
because I drink a glass of water
in the morning
and chain-smoke cigarettes
all through the day
because I take my coffee Black
and my milk with chocolate
because you keep my feet warm
though my life a mess
I love you
because I don’t want it
any other way
I am helpless
in my love for you
It makes me so happy
to hear you call my name
I am amazed you can resist
locking me in an echo chamber
where your voice reverberates
through the four walls
sending me into spasmatic ecstasy
I love you
because it’s been so good
for so long
that if I didn’t love you
I’d have to be born again
and that is not a theological statement
I am pitiful in my love for you
The Dells tell me Love
is so simple
the thought though of you
sends indescribably delicious multitudinous
thrills throughout and through-in my body
I love you
because no two snowflakes are alike
and it is possible
if you stand tippy-toe
to walk between the raindrops
I love you
because I am afraid of the dark
and can’t sleep in the light
because I rub my eyes
when I wake up in the morning
and find you there
because you with all your magic powers were
determined that
I should love you
because there was nothing for you but that
I would love you
I love you
because you made me
want to love you
more than I love my privacy
my freedom my commitments
and responsibilities
I love you ’cause I changed my life
to love you
because you saw me one Friday
afternoon and decided that I would
love you
I love you I love you I love you
Feb 11, 2025
Top Recs from @huxsid
🫰
i open it, wait for it to load (delayed gratification), swipe the top refs, like them, check out the accounts their from, might follow, see what the people i follow are posting, search up new music or something random (all on my own accord, no algorithm, no doomscrolling) find something actually cool that i bookmark/add to a list to check out (which i do check out), either leave the app satisfied or make a silly little post and then leave the app with no urge to keep scrolling or looking, happy with my time spent
Feb 10, 2025
❌
everyone
you have NO business over there. NOTHING good coming out of there anymore.
instead try;
- active listening
- reading a damn book
- giving a shit about other people
- finding whimsy in everyday life
Feb 10, 2025
📅
its like january 13th in my mind wtf😭😭😭
4d ago