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this likely developed in me as an overcorrected effort to not be That Guy who forces girls to listen to him play guitar at them or posts instagram stories of mediocre work-in-progress pictures of their basquiat clones for the easy likes, but as a result I am now weirdly secretive with my hobbies.
I’ve only recently began to share Some of my writing and that does feel good when it’s received warmly, but there is something to be said about honing your skills in private and surprising your friends with your sick rollerblade tricks or improvised guitar solo when an opportunity presents itself. It’s like when you get in better physical shape and someone you haven’t seen in a while compliments you, but for The Brain.
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for example - I find music theory very soothing - it’s only a hobby - i don’t intend on sharing my results with anyone - it’s like a puzzle for me - it is math - it is so fun to practice the shapes of the triads into my fingers - i love all the different ways these sounds can go together - i never lead with this as a conversation bc it’s only mine - i skip parties to study it - i stop scrolling bc i’m like - can i move my fingers faster in this pentatonic scale? - it’s literally so fun to have a secret hobby - nobody has to know
Oct 13, 2024
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if other ppl i know start liking my alone hobbies and i encounter them in public, i can’t go about freely being a little freak and i simply can’t have that!!
Jul 29, 2024
I have been on and off playing the guitar for a little while now (maybe a year?). I am just god awful. But I really want to be good. Sometimes I feel like a fraud even holding my guitar. But I have decided that no one said I had to be good. Your hobbies are valid no matter your skill level. <3
Ps. My guitar is pink and has gold sparkles on it and I think that’s fun and cool.
Aug 14, 2024
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my hunger for female approval and general vanity has prevented me from going down this route, but the appeal of being a perfect mysterious stranger does call to me occasionally. Kudos to all you anons
Feb 14, 2025
Feb 21, 2025
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In my internal monologue I instinctively refer to myself as We instead of Me, most often when I’m planning out my day or creating mental to-do lists.
e.g. “We’re out of eggs, gotta add that to the grocery list”, “ We’re going to get out of work at 11 and then meet So-and-so and do such-and-such”
I obviously do not do this out loud in conversation, but in my head I often default to We instead of Me. (I hope this is not foreshadowing a future schizophrenia)
Feb 17, 2025