could be sooooo many different reasons that this happens
everybody is different but ultimately we want the same thing. connection and feeling wanted.
there’s also people who can’t be alone, sometimes this is referred to as codependency lmao!
some people just want a physical distraction to keep them from ruminating on their break up.
we’re all a little twisted!
1d ago
Related Recs
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had times where me and the other person weren’t really in each other’s lives before dating so there wasn’t an existing shared community or anything to keep us in proximity to each other. kinda just follow those folks lightly on socials now but don’t really keep in touch. net zero not the worst.
had one time where the romantic relationship really didn’t work out, just lack of compatibility and not being what the other person needed, but the emotional connection and proximity/availability kept us both coming back to each other to maintain the relationship platonically. kind of resulted in a messy situation where boundaries were unclear and that just lead to more hurt and confusion than had we dealt with being apart and feeling alone in the moment and then come back together as friends after letting time pass. ultimately ended up cutting that person out of my life entirely after moving away and realizing in retrospect that I had allowed this person to violate a lot of my personal boundaries for the sake of feeling like I had someone I could confide in, and that they were taking advantage of me being a pushover to feel wanted/not alone.
all this to say, ask yourself: what is it that this person brings to your life outside of what comes exclusively from the romantic aspect of the relationship? if this person was simply available to you to spend time together, seek company from existing friends, or find a new community to be a part of. if this person was a close confidant and understood you in a way you felt seen by, maybe practice more vulnerability with your current friends/family/whoever and ask yourself what it is that makes you feel seen/appreciated in those relationships? seek that out! in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, it’s going to seem like there is no one else that can take the space that person is leaving. but that doesn’t have to be the case, and investing in the non-romantic relationships you already have can address the valid needs that you have and strengthen your existing connections. romantic love is important, but other forms of love are just as fulfilling and crucial to your thriving! maybe with time you will come to notice that this person had something you value nonromantically and hopefully y’all can find a new place for each other in your lives, and that can be very rewarding! or maybe you will realize this person met certain unaddressed needs in the moment that you can find in other relationships. don’t feel the need to keep em around if that’s the case.
Mar 12, 2024
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The dial tone after speaking to someone you loved for the final time over the phone.
Crying until you can’t breathe.
Your body becoming numb and your mind spinning as you try and process as you end things with your partner.
Amicable breakups when you and your former partner still loved each other during said breakup, and then watching them move on from a distance, while you still reminisce on what could have been every now and then—even when you, yourself, have moved on.
Feeling lost.
Firm believer that breakups build you as a person. I am not the person I was when I was in my first committed relationship. I built myself up, I created boundaries, and I no longer live for anyone else but myself
Jan 30, 2025
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The most challenging part of breakups for me is rebuilding the infrastructure of your own life. Reconnect with the things you used to do before you started dating someone—(they might feel different and you might find they no longer work the way they used to, this is normal and okay) and find new things that help re-light the curiosity of your own life. We know so much less than we *think we do about what we might like/who we are, and breakups offer the perfect time to collect a little pile of ways/things/friends that help you feel more in touch with what you love and who you are. Gonna feel uncomfortable and weird but that means it’s working. Sending you love ❤️
Mar 16, 2024
Top Recs from @chronicwebuser
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do y’all ever think about getting off social media but then you worry about how you’ll keep in touch with your friends? i’ve been thinking about this a lot bc i wanna delete ig but it’s where i talk to some of my rly close friends. i hate that it monopolizes connection like that. but i also had this realization that like the people i follow/follow me on ig are not “friends” they’re just superficial connections. real, deep, long meaningful relationships (which i’m craving) i think do require me to get the fuck offline and take the time i was mindlessly scrolling and putting it back into myself or my friends is where i’ll see the greatest positive feedback. and being PRESENT in those relationships. i feel like this is what that book the dopamine generation is about butttttt haven’t read it yet.
Feb 4, 2025
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cinnamon roll or brown maple sugar oatmeal with:
- slivered almonds*
- walnuts
- chia seeds
- ground flax meal
- berries 🍓🫐
*i recognize this is an allergy for you
PS don’t ever buy apple cinnamon oatmeal, just trust me it’s NOT good
4d ago
the vet today called her heart “normal and boring”
although i completely disagree — i couldn’t be happier to hear those words :’)
current location: cuddletown USA
1d ago