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right now as I'm writing this, new york is caked in a freaky orange smog and the world is proverbially "giving" "apocalypse vibes." it's hard not to feel an underlying sense of doom and dread lurking in everything, even the fun things (well the world is ending, so I might as well do what I want, etc. etc.). my whole thing as of late is that I'm sort of over that...I readĀ Recapture the Rapture by Jamie Wheal recently which gets into a lot of these feelings (s/o the meta crisis) and one of his pitches for the start of a solution is something he calls "radical hope." I of course do not know if it will work but I think it's far more interesting than ironic detachment because you're actually not brave enough to care about anything
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:/ I feel like the days are movin far too swiftly. Everyone is a little checked out, and its as if weāre all just sitting around waiting for something bad to happen because so many aspects of life are wild and extremely disheartening.
I just miss the world being a tad bit more optimistic, happy, and I shall dare to sayā¦ a lot more ignorant.
Feb 23, 2025
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Itās easy to condemn the world of QR code menus, HR talk, and big-box stores as bleak. Itās a reflex to be revolted by the sterile dust that now seemingly coats every corner of the Western World. Blue pill or Red Pill, I guess. When the only alternative seems to be outright populism. There seems to be a lethargic and sneering shadow that nips the heels of every passer-by. Isnāt easy to be ironic. Isnāt it easy to hold an air of apathetic sardonicism. Isnāt it easy to curse the cage we are locked in, only to tighten the bars in fear of what lies beyond. If Emily Dickson claims that āhopeā is the thing with feathers, I wonder what she will make of the bird who clipped its own wings. Be brave, I think. Take courage to revolt against the programmed norm to hate and to despise. See beauty in the perfect cubes of Chocolate Milk cartons, find humour in the abrupt slopes of beer bellies. You havenāt even lost your skin elasticity yet, maybe you should just go fly a kite.
Apr 17, 2024
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an unfortunate necessity. incredibly overrated, though to deny it would be ignorance. the best and only way to deal with this fact of life is to spin it into an optimistic thing, which i absoloutely reccomend you do
Feb 4, 2025
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I valued the idea of being low maintenanceĀ and chill for so long and I don't know if it's been living in LA and or being around more rich people but I realized recently that it is all a lie. every single person that is effortlessly ājust being themselvesā is lying. They are getting acupuncture and lymphatic drainage and taking pilates and yoga 3 times a week and getting facials and layering $90 serums and creams on top of their face and going to erewhon 80 times a day to get probiotic water that does not exist. they are a project. and guess what? so am I! sometimes it's nice.
Jun 19, 2023
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so nice finishing something or having a friend finish something and then swapping that book. sharing things with your loved ones? making memories tactile? it's nice! (some that I've given or received that I've loved as of late: why fish don't exist - lulu miller, clarice lispector - an apprenticeship, how to do nothing - jenny odell, stay true - hua hsu)
Jun 19, 2023
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The world's tough place. There's lots of movies I want to see and because of the dumbest corporate reasons, lots of times they're unavailable or only available to buy on a streaming service. At that point I'd rather just get a blu-ray (s/o walmart dot com and the kino lorber sale...) but if I can't find one, or if it's $50, I'll straight up just see if it's avail to watch on youtube or through the internet archive and a lot of times it is. The quality might not be great, but that's okay. It's important to not get what you want sometimes in life. (Elaine May's A New Leaf, Scorsese's Kundun, Todd Solondz' Happiness, Akira Kuroswa's Dreams,Ā Joseph L. Mankiewicz's SleuthĀ etc. etc.)
Jun 19, 2023