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Not that I’ve successfully executed any (blows kiss) but it seems like this country has been ostensibly built on a continuous series of scams since it’s conception, making scamming an arguably patriotic endeavor. My scamming mostly manifests in the hypothetical realm, but I’d argue that a detailed brainstorming session is almost like the real thing. Tax evasion scams, like starting a “university”, sound very cool and modern, or maybe producing a human child via the sex-pregnancy-birth means of production, that would be a very cool tax write off, and when they get old enough they could become an unpaid intern for the (eventual) family business. The best I’ve done so far is pretend it’s my birthday at a restaurant, hoping for free cake/candle/song. Sometimes it works. Maybe I’d like to perform an art heist unto one of my own paintings. I’m not sure what would amount from that situation but I do foresee an art heist brainstorm in my immediate future. It’s a dog eat dog world baby (I have heard)! Until any one scam materializes, I cannot speak to whether I would recommend the undertaking, but I can recommend the research and development stage, for now.
Jun 16, 2022

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I never go to the crime scenes but I create all the official-looking documents that are needed if something goes wrong. I'm not in any danger and I have enough dirt on everyone that they're all scared of me. I'm in this for the long run by the way if that wasn't clear. Why stop at one?
Jun 20, 2024
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i’ve never done it but why don’t you? fun saturday activity!
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Top Recs from @chloe-wise

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I think this may be a suitable place to insert my focaccia recipe, seeing as I do get asked about it often*. Sourdough focaccia is so easy and great. I do 20% active levain, 75-80% hydration, 2% salt, which amounts to 200g levain, 750g water, 20g salt and 1000 g flour. I literally use AP flour, nothing fancy, but consider this my announcement that I would happily accept some cool fancy fricked up local flour if anyone wants to provide that to me. Anyway I stretch that stuff, I dimple it up, and boom, gorge focach. Disclaimer: one would be wise to wash ones hands when oscillating between oil painting and hand-kneading bread, but following my own advice is not my strong suit. *well, I offer it up verbally at the slightest mention of any carbohydrate, but let’s just say everyone’s always asking me, so this can feel as though I’m giving back to the bread community.
Jun 16, 2022
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I don’t know why this isn’t a more popular beverage, but a cold brew alcoholic splash into a nice glass of tonic will swiftly usurp the place in your mouth’s heart that’s been hitherto reserved for espresso martinis and/or Diet Coke.
Jun 16, 2022
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I recently made the very (self-proclaimed) avant garde decision of leaving lower Manhattan and moving to midtown (k-town to be exact), and, while I know this may be shocking, I love it. The Empire State Building, while I have never technically visited nor entered her, is very fun to proclaim one’s residential proximity to. Walking outside, I am not at risk of running into anyone, and not because I live in a residential strollers-and-young-parents way, but because like, truly no one goes there without a work or errand related reason. All the loud, absurd, hectic New York you know, without the downtown overlappy social geography you (pretend to) hate.
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