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I’ve succumb to my addiction but rather than smoke, vape, or chew tobacco; I’ve simply resigned to always having a Nicorette lozenge lodged in my lip. It’s healthier than the other options and I still get my fix.
Mar 22, 2022

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i stopped buying them. but whenever i got a craving i’d go to my usual spots (balcony, outside a bar, etc.) and i’d pop a peppermint in my mouth and then i’d stand with my one arm crossed and the other arm posed kind of like i was loosely holding a cig (it’s hard to describe, but i feel like you know what im talking about) then for the length of time it took me to eat the peppermint, i’d stand and scroll on my phone or chit chat with my smoking friends. taking deep breaths. basically miming having a cigarette. i’d also often chew on a straw, lollipop stick or toothpick. honestly it’s kind of cunt. also, my dad quit smoking at 77 and said he said he couldn’t have done it without the nic lozenges
Jan 15, 2025
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i have a vape again, it's been a year and a half since I've had my own. sometimes i take little hits from my friends when we're out drinking but this time i got my own. well i got one with my friend but she asked me to keep it since she doesn't trust herself. i said i didn't trust myself either. sometimes when i think about nicotine too hard i feel tingles in my body. i hit the vape while sober Today and it sucked. it tasted gross and made my head hurt. it did not make me crave more. i thought id never not love nicotine, and i guess i would've felt proud of myself for not wanting it, but i feel weird and sad. i still love a cigarette here and there, i have a Ritual for cigarettes. i never had a ritual for vapes just a desperate and pathetic attachment. i don't know how to emotionally process expecting myself to fall back into unhealthy addictive habits but actually discovering i don't feel that way anymore. so now i have this vape that's gross and i don't really want it and that's good but i'm also kind of mad because some stress relief and dopamine would be nice eight now but it's not giving me that anymore.
Sep 3, 2024

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Don’t get me wrong, I love going to the beach in the summer but something about swimming holes hits different. There’s a sense of real nostalgia and joy that captures the true essence of summer. I grew up in Minnesota also known as the Land of 10,000 Lakes, so maybe this is a way to connect with my roots. There are lots of swimming holes to choose from even as close as New Jersey. One of my favorites is more-so a lake but it’s surrounded by mountains and has a hot dog stand. It’s called Bellayre Beach and it will make you feel like a kid again.
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i’m getting one right now. this is how you stay young forever. if you’re feet don’t hurt your body won’t either.
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its not about a drink it’s about a state of mind
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