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I am a thin waisted and thin lipped woman. I like being thin waisted but it makes me queasy and sad that I have tiny little lips. My mom thinks my lips are elegant because Marlene Dietrich also had no upper lip but when you google “thin lipped actress” Marlene’s just about the only respectable example who pops up. I don’t want plastic surgery because I am an ACTOR and I don’t believe the point of acting is to look beautiful all the time.  Actors need to convey all sorts of feelings - of joy and desperation and mania - on their faces! Actors are not models!  I could go on about this but I’ll sound stupid,  especially when I turn 50 and wind up with a face lift. Anyway, since in my day-to-day life I really do like looking “beautiful” I use lipliner to give myself an upper lip and change the shape of my mouth completely. Sometimes people don’t recognize me when I don’t have lipliner on, which makes me feel like a real chameleon. The only hard part about painting your face is that it means lots of trips to the bathroom when you first begin dating someone (reapplying between smooches). It is certainly a lot of upkeep. Right now I use Sephora brand lipliner as a base (it’s also only 6 dollars!) in “light brown.” Then I trace around the edges with a darker shade, Rimmel’s Lasting Finish in “cappuccino.” They discontinued my favorite Kevyn Aucoin one so now when I’m feeling fancy I’ll use Kjaer Weis’s lip pencil in “rich.” I like nudes and browns. Never peach. Never. Peach.
Sep 21, 2021

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A sometime struggle I have is feeling like my lips aren’t defined- why is this happening? Age? Dehydration? All of the nutrients being drained from my body to create two obscenely beautiful children? I was suffering along until I came across this trick. Simple yet life changing (if I remember to do it).
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I used to do it the natural way by eating red candies, fruits (prickly pears do a great job), or lemons (the citric acid would react with my lips to make it more plump and red). Currently in love with the Sacheu Lip Tint, i use the shade Muah-ve. It takes 5 mins and will last all night. I apply it as a lip liner & inner triangles on my top and bottom lip to give them a little contour and plump, then go over with a clear gloss. ✨✨
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Vampire Weekend is the best band of all time. I exclusively listen to Edith Piaf, the Newsies Soundtrack, and Vampire Weekend. But mostly Vampire Weekend. I play that shit on repeat all day long. I wake up and listen to “Horchata” for about an hour, then I move on to the song “Step” and then for the rest of the day, walking around New York, I listen to their album “Father of the Bride.” I fell in love for the first time to the sounds of Vampire Weekend, and so I just don’t see the point in listening to anything else. I’ve never had sex to Vampire Weekend but my next boyfriend will love doing that, I just know it. VW’s music lifts me up and shoves me down and makes me nostalgic for things I have and haven’t had. Their music works well in every country. I feel like life is big and beautiful and that I’m absolutely unstoppable when “I Stand Corrected” is blasting. People like to say I have terrible taste in music but I disagree. Also, there is nothing ironic about my praise here. I love Vampire Weekend. I hope one day I become semi-famous so that they will have no choice but to play at my wedding.
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I smoke a lot of cigarettes. It is what it is. I smoke a pack and a half a day, which is scary, but is also kind of cool. In NYC, that’s a lot of moolah so I had to do a lot of searching to find the folks who sell cigs for cheap. The deli on Catherine street in Chinatown sells packs for ten dollars a pop. I thought about giving the full name and address away, but I also live in fear of their prices spiking so instead I will just tell you it’s near Madison and is certainly on Catherine. Goodluck.
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My favorite place. My own little Oasis. The beautiful women. The leisure and the partying. I don’t know. I’ve been to Norway over eight times and the only thing I know how to say in Norwegian is, “I AM A JEW!” which I think works just fine. Oslo is beautiful and small enough to conquer in two weeks. By conquer I mean make yourself known. I like being a big fish in a small pond, I guess. My Oslo Picks:⁃Smalhans (delicious food)⁃Cemetery of Our Savior (I had sex here in the dead of night once and then broke my ankle by stomping on Munch’s grave)⁃Gapet (across from the graveyard and a really nice place to get drunk)⁃Izakaya (perfect date spot)⁃Litteraturhuset (great place to read and write)⁃Fretex (vintage chain that locals probably hate but that I always find good stuff in)⁃The Vigeland Park (incredible) (that said any and all of the parks in Oslo in the summertime are DREAMS)Favorite Norwegian People:⁃Kristoffer Borgli: the only living genius⁃August Bror’s clothes⁃IBSEN⁃Eirik Saether’s art⁃Joachim Trier’s movies
Sep 21, 2021