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the best advice I give my students is this: life is not a video game where you win by collecting points, doing boring, meaningless, soul-crushing things for the majority of your career so that you can “spend” them one day on something you actually care about. the same social constraints that discipline young people into deferring gratification too easily trick them into deferring their passions and deferring their integrity, too. every day is equally your life. every bit of power and choice you have is an opportunity, right now, to live out your values. make art now. travel now. take the job that matters now. plant a garden now. do the right thing now. later is too late: spend your points.
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i’m not gonna go into the state of politics in this country, frankly I enjoy that this site has been a politics free space for the most part. with that being said, resigning to despair and the feeling of powerlessness serves only the status quo. inaction is not the solution, nor is waiting for the government to be what you want it to be. politics over: here’s the rec
be the change you want to see
as much of a cliche as this saying is, i’ve grown to believe in it with my full being as i’ve gotten older. for the things you have control over, for the practical needs that you can meet within your community, for the little things you can do every day to ease someone’s burden or generally be a pleasant interaction in someone’s life: bring to the world what you feel it lacks.
where you live there are likely already communities that are arising to support each other and call for change. seek those out if that’s a motivating notion for you. participate as much as you are able and as little as you please, every bit counts. being a visible and tangible example of how the agency we all have can create something better will motivate others to find their voice. a lot of people feel like you, but even a few in action is better than multitudes in despair.
community is so key, and the world we live in has created a situation where isolation is the default so that individuals are forced to rely on the market or the state to meet their needs. how much better would it be to have neighbors and friends as a support network, mutually exchanging their time and resources to strengthen the communtiy and invest in relationships that benefit the whole. the moment we all realize that we can do for each other what the world tells us we need to do ourselves, the stronger we will be and the more we can come together and enact real change from the bottom up, rather than being divided in pleading for a top down approach.
this may sound revolutionary because we have become so detached from community that we cannot envision the changes in our model of living that would have to be made, but it’s sooo not that deep, and it feels more like investing in the good in others than sacrificing personal comforts. it can look like:
- shopping at a local business vs a corporate chain, get to know the staff, get to know your fellow patrons
- spending time with friends, there doesn't need to be a reason or occasion. make meals together, drive together to go do something, maybe literally just be in each others presence as you do daily life, share each others sacred presence amidst the mundane
- give things you don’t need to a friend who does, exchange clothes, exchange favors, share knowledge and resources, lend a skill or a craft, donate things if you don’t know someone who can use it, exchange things and experiences without the need for monetary incentive
- create things together, make art together, share and exchange media, try things for the joy of experiencing them without the need to be “good” at it,
- grieve together, worry together, talk out negative feelings, commiserate, support, encourage, motivate, share your accomplishments, celebrate together
- get to know your neighbors, why is everyone in isolation while in such proximity?
- get off that damn phone if it makes you feel bad, you wont miss out, the world happens outside of it, unlearn FOMO
- enjoy nature, go on walks, get outside, sweat and run and jump and see the sky
- remind yourself that life is about what happens right now, don’t be concerned with what could be or what was if you are unable to affect it in the present.
- go to a concert at a small venue for an artist you’ve never heard of, bring friends, don’t preclude experience for the perceived necessity of entertainment
- unlearn grindset, but also unlearn bainrot. don’t fester in your down time. rest can be active, activity can be restorative. your time is precious and you will meet your need for purpose and direction by literally choosing to pursue a “meaningless” hobby in even what little time you may have vs scrolling and taking psychic damage.
- learn to enjoy the abundance of freely available joy in this world, we have been tricked to believe that money is the sole provider of a happy life
idk i’m just becoming mindful of what brings me life in this world and so much of it is available to me solely by seeking it out instead of idleness in my free time under the guise of “rest.” so much if it comes from seeing the divine in others and creating bonds and relationships and support networks. so much of it comes from enjoying beauty and art, and moderating and savoring that experience vs endless consumption and media gluttony.
the world through a screen is bleak, the world in front of your eyes can be beautiful, the system is broken but you and everyone you know has some untapped agency. anyway imma get off my soapbox, go catch a firefly or sit around a campfire with the homies. you’ll be glad you did.
Jun 29, 2024
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He also has given me very strong advice about centering my routine around leisure, physical activity, creative pursuits, etc. overall filling the days with as many wins as possible in order to see my fulfillment.
May 28, 2024
going through some similar motions and this measely tiktok comment unironically did like +1000 healing to my psyche. really, the key is to remember you can only do so much at once. overexerting yourself will make you too tired to consume the fruits of your labor. they will rot and/or you will not enjoy them this way. find happiness in the little, fleeting moments you’re able to foster for yourself and bite off only what you can chew. besides, you want to make sure not to do things in haste. you want a solid foundation for future you and your contentment and don’t want to find any cracks in it later down the line…
Sep 24, 2024
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the internet used to feel messy and infinite, full of weirdos and subcultures and criminals and inexplicable little nerd projects from anonymous friends you made on message boards. then everything became twitter and instagram, which was cool until everything irl started looking and feeling like twitter and instagram too, no matter where in the world you were, and there was nowhere else to go.
suddenly though (?) that era feels over, those sites are dying, along with google search, and I feel like the weird internet, the infinite internet, is at the beginning of a full comeback. I love that dizzy feeling that there’s so much much out there that I’ll never even get close to seeing it all.
maybe that’s why I like it here so much?
Jan 26, 2024
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I’m not sure I’d really recommend this because it’s more exhausting and permanently life-altering than almost any other thing you could imagine. But being a parent connects me to others in a way I had never experienced before having my own kid.
I love every child because I love my child. I believe every person is trying their best, is trying to be good, because I see that in him. I feel connected to the grief and suffering of other parents because I see how to love your child is necessarily to be on the knife’s edge of grief at all times. I have found parenting politically radicalizing because I cannot accept that my child deserves more than other children, that he gets to be safe and fed and surrounded by infinite possibility when most others are not.
Having a kid has not necessarily made me happier, but it has given me a deeper understanding of the human condition, and I am grateful for that.
Mar 16, 2024
