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Essay from Adam Phillips has me ready to quit stuff: ā€œThereā€‹ are at least three salient meanings of giving up that recur in different forms, all of them at the heart of Kafkaā€™s preoccupations: defeatedness and sacrifice, or failure and compromise, or weakness and realism. The ambiguity of the phrase ā€˜giving upā€™ in English is instructive: to give up is always to give something up; something or someone is sacrificed. And sacrifice, whatever else it is, is a sadistic pleasure. To put it another way, perhaps we should not underestimate the pleasures of giving up, however forbidden or shameful they may seem to be. No one writes in praise of giving up, any more than people write in celebration of shame. The question I want to broach is not why do we give up, but why donā€™t we? Why are we less interested in having given up than avoiding giving up?ā€
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Mar 12, 2024

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I find often in media, specifically meta media, that we are told materialism (and its association to capitalism and greed) is a sickening disease. A disease that traps us to our boring, normal and sometimes if we are lucky enough, corporate lives. Lives without schizo episodes of terrorism, young boy play things, and massive bank heists. But Iā€™m not so sure it IS a disease ...It canā€™t be a disease. Or maybe it's precisely that becauseĀ our lives have been shortened by the disease, that I may expand my pathetic record collection into something bigger and continue making ā€˜investmentsā€™ on my epic, old school pokemon collection. ā€œThe things you own end up owning you" Ā  -Tyler Durden. I fucking hope not, Iā€™m this: |_| close to filling my new display case with action figures and I will not become batman's bitch. To see the opposite side of views we subscribe to, is not a difficult thing these days and yet my desire for materialism is supported by very fucking few (comedically, academically and socially). If weed and alcohol is supported and opposed, then why the fuck is no one arguing about my main poison materialism? A case for making your own homestead or even starting that epic #vanlife is so constantly supported and yet the lives we first world masses occupy is celebratedā€¦when? Or maybe itā€™s truly as the pedos say? ā€œThe greatest wealth is to live content with littleā€ -Plato. Youā€™re right Mr Pedo, at least everyone believes that to be right, but in my first world society what most would consider ā€œthe greatest wealthā€ Iā€™d consider ā€œlittleā€. Is it so much to ask for a massive one of a kind library in my house that's sitting on a few acres of fertile land? The kind of library that says, ā€œMy cock may be small, but my ego more than makes up for it!ā€ -No, it isnā€™t so much to ask for, and if I could have it my way, it wouldn't be ā€œso muchā€ for anyone. (See! I'm a humanitarian!) I stumbled across this account on Instagram that seems to be going against the trends of #vanlife and homesteading with his reels depicting a ā€˜normal lifeā€™.The user romanticises the stability of a 9-5 office job (or rather the stability of HIS 9-5 office job.) that America seemed to adore so much, and kinda still does???Ā  For a proud capitalist he makes me surprisingly sick to be honest. Preaching his trademarked phrase, ā€œNormalise the Normā€ along with well edited windows into his unsurprisingly grey life. When did the ā€˜normā€™ become so fucking colourless? He isnā€™t nearly as exciting as or even palatable as a Japanese guy travelling around and living out out of his Kei truck or a big bearded man and his funny dog building a homestead. I must say though. It is nice to see someone defend our collective desire to hold onto our stonesā€¦Like an otter! And donā€™t worry (My teachers always taught me not to begin a sentence with ā€œAndā€, but Iā€™m a big boy now so you can go get fucked) - I do still romanticise the other side - The other political side if I may indulge even more actually.Ā  The idea of shedding it all and running away, Hopping from person to person, bed to bed and adventure to adventure (STI to STI) is fucking fantastic! A dream perpetrated by my favourite explorer (Indiana Jones) and my favourite slave trader (Sir Francis Drake). Even now after discovering how accessible it is for me to have the comfy materialistic life, I find myself thinking about that badass ā€˜Heatā€™ quote: "Donā€™t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds if you feel the heat around the corner.ā€ - Not Al Pochino. Hmm, nah fuck all that. Materialistic people shouldnā€™t have to worry about ā€œthe heat around the cornerā€Ā anyway.Ā  Iā€™m not sure I truly believe in materialism, only that I hope itā€™s not as bad as people say it is, because I have no intention of stopping. Ā  ā€“ You, the reader, should tell me what you think (without forgetting that the title says my questions are rhetorical of course). -I wonā€™t change my mind, but maybe Iā€™ll discover someone as arrogant as me, and that would be cool.
Jan 5, 2025
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History is full of people who just didnā€™t.Ā  They saidĀ no thank you, turned away, ran away to the desert, stood on the streets in rags, lived in barrels, burned down their own houses, walked barefoot through town, killed their rapists, pushed away dinner, meditated into the light.Ā  Even babies refuse, and the elderly, too.Ā  All types of animals refuse: at the zoo they gaze dead-eyed through plexiglass, fling feces at the human faces, stop having babies. Classes refuse.Ā  The poor throw their lives onto barricades. Workers slow the line. Enslaved people have always refused, poisoning the feasts, aborting the embryos. And the diligent, flamboyant jaywalkers assert themselves against traffic as the first and foremost visible, daily lesson inĀ just not. its existence serves as a rec, no words are needed
Feb 12, 2024
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hear me outā€”this one might feel impossible, but i quit purchasing items on Amazon in 2018 and cancelled my GoodReads account shortly after. i did some serious reflection and realized iā€™d become super reliant upon, and frankly, quite used to the instant gratification of purchasing something and knowing iā€™d have it within a day. thatā€™s not normal. the labor practices, economics, and environmental impacts of getting what you want from the internet delivered quickly and right to your door are skewed. i was filling a void in myself with mindless purchases. iā€™m aware that they service a huge swath of the internet (Amazon Web Services), own Whole Foods and Abe Books, and will likely take over more businesses we like and rely on. weaning off and avoiding entirely is very very hard, but it can also be a measured decision. that said, i know that it is a privilege to abstain from Amazon. i am able bodied, i donā€™t have kids, i have access to a car, i live in an urban environment with access to a lot of stuff at my fingertips. but making the choice to break out of the Amazon loop has ultimately been better for my pocketbook and better for my relationship to these mega-tech-companies that have their fingers in everything. in contrast, iā€™m becoming more interested in alternate economies, like bartering and sharing. i love the idea of having commonly shared tools and items (tool libraries are very cool). we donā€™t need to own it all, we have each other. interested in exploring more? the zine pictured below is a great start, and summarizes a much larger book by the same author on how to resist the leviathan that is Amazon.
Jan 22, 2025

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