Oooooh, I love this question— for context, when I was in university this is what I did my gender and film thesis on, and it’s a really interesting thing. The answers could be, briefly: Marvel, Katherine Heigl, industries skewing toward white male audiences, and raunch comedy. At the time (and now, if we’re very honest) there was a misconception that women audiences and Black audiences would go to see films with white male protagonists, while white men wouldn’t pay to see women and Black men and Black women in films— movies like Barbie, and Black Panther, and Wonder Woman really disprove this, but studios aren’t particularly brave, and can be particularly biased. So Spider Man is a safer choice than 27 Dresses, but it costs much more to make Spider Man; so a studio that used to put out 5 mid-budget romantic comedies will consolidate that budget and make one Fast&Furious, or Avengers— these are also easier to franchise, because it’s hard to make a series of a movie that ends in happily ever after (Bridget Jones being the exception that proves the rule). Additionally, around the early 2000’s the tone of romantic comedies shifted pretty radically— we shift from Sleepless in Seattle to No Strings Attached— the movies are raunchier, they tend to play on one trope (type A woman embarrassed by but ultimately in love with a slacker man). Katherine Heigl was in a few of these, and while she didn’t write these roles and wasn’t responsible for poor audience reception, we associate her with the “death of romcoms” for that reason. The romcom used to be a mid-budget vehicle for female actors to gain stardom/recognition (Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, etc.) but Katherine Heigl got very typecast and the fear of getting stuck as one kind of actor made those roles less appealing. So the movie theater romcom died, and we had these almost TV movies with Justin Timberlake and starlets transitioning from TV to film. There were a few notable indie romcoms from that period (Garden State, 500 Days of Summer) but these notably revolve around a male protagonist and the female characters are more stagnant. Even now, the few romantic comedies that come out are stylistically much different— they’re wealthier (Anyone But You) and more photoshopped feeling. Compare a Norah Ephron apartment with the settings of a romantic comedy from 2020 on, and you’ll see a stark visual difference.
Mar 13, 2024

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my mum beat me to the punch with watching mina le's newest video "why aren't romcoms romantic anymore" (which is a fantastic and quick dive into romantic comedies and their history btw) this was one of my favourite reads last year so i was very pleased and surprised to hear it mentioned in her video. genuinely i don't always read a lot of non fiction, unless it's a topic that interests me and so a lot of my reads are based around films and art. this book is a great look into some of the most memorable romcoms and th stories behind how they were made. i will always be biased towards when harry met sally and also sandra bullock's romcom run so it was definitely a treat to see them both in there. like mina, i'm also hoping we head into a romcom boom as someone who does look to them for comfort and escapism. i want more romcoms back in theaters! no more streaming only. if i want to fantasize about having a nice house and a meet cute, i should get to watch that on the big screen the same as everyone who fantasizes about riding sandworms does, dammit!!!
Sep 23, 2024
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the first rom-com, they TRULY do not make them like this anymore.
Apr 8, 2024
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When Harry Met Sally is my number one rom com and movie, always. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is another one I love. Recently watched The Wedding Planner (Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey) and loved it. Runaway Bride (Julia Roberts and Richard Gere) is also good. I Want You Back, When We First Met, No Hard Feelings are enjoyable. Romancing the Stone was great, you can also watch The Lost City (Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum) which has tons of parallels to Romancing the Stone. This time of the year I always try to watch Lovehard, Serendipity, While You Were Sleeping, and The Holiday. I don't know if this (or any of the above recs) are what you're looking for but Much Ado About Nothing (1993) is in my top 10 favorite movies.
Dec 29, 2024

Top Recs from @nadiyaelyse

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Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way— that’s really crummy, and I’m sure that once you feel that way everything feels like confirmation of being unspecial. But in a very very real way, you might be bored with yourself because you know yourself so well— other people don’t know you. You could walk into a bar or a cafe or an event and you would be new to at least one person there. If you feel like you aren’t interesting conversationally, are you a good listener? In a very honest way, the people I’ve found hottest and most intriguing are always good listeners, and people who are quiet and incisive. It’s okay if you don’t talk on and on; a lot of “interesting” people are just filling space with noise. Noise is always briefly exciting or interesting, but that doesn’t mean it has substance or adds value. Trust me on this, I’m a performer and frankly so many nights I’m just making noise. So first piece of advice is, approach yourself as if you were a stranger— look at everything about you like you’ve never ever seen it before, and start to notice what you like. Then build on those things. Like, it’s okay if you hate your clothes, but do you have one jacket/shirt/earring that you love? Wear that so much, and slowly look out for pieces that make you feel like the thing you love— it’s okay if it takes time, the outfits that make me feel dynamic are all cobbled together from stuff I found over years. Then look at other people, what do you find interesting about them? I am a knockoff of every woman I ever thought was cool— my summer camp counselor, my gender studies TA from my first year of college, my mom, and literally everyone else. That’s okay though, mimicking what you like is a way of developing your taste, and you will put yourself together in a way that’s a little different and totally your own. It’s okay if it takes time— sometimes we have seasons where we don’t like ourselves a ton, but they do pass, and who you will be in a year is a brand new person— you haven’t met them yet, and you might love them. Tiny practical advice? Go for walks; it’s good for your body, it releases endorphins, and it gives you a chance to people watch/observe nature. Read something small; it can be a single poem, or an essay, or a children’s book— I love Howl’s Moving Castle and if I’m feeling stuck in a rut I read that, even though it’s a children’s book. If reading isn’t your thing watch a movie or a TV episode, but whatever you consume, watch it and take notes, like you‘re a secret critic— note what you liked, whether it’s costumes or language or the vibe, and what you didn’t, and then you can find more things like it— that’s how you develop your own taste, and it’s a good way to develop language around art and media. All critics and essayists and everyone whose job is to write interestingly about art started with shit they liked in middle school, and built on that to find their own language— you can do that too. Sorry for the hugely long post, but I promise that you are more interesting than you give yourself credit for, and there are people in the world who will see that.
Feb 19, 2024
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This was really impactful for me; the analogy is, your life/your heart is a room (or an apartment, a space, etc) and relationships are all about inviting people into that room. Intimacy is letting them into the room and knowing that they might touch stuff, move furniture around, or change the way you’ve laid the room out. Transparency is letting people see the room, but keeping a glass between them and the space— they can see, but not touch. I think relationally we all have impulses toward transparency instead of intimacy, and it’s easy to say “I let you look at my room, that was intimacy,” while maintaining the glass that separates people from the room. Be intimate! Let people pick up the tchotchkes in your heart and move the furniture.
May 28, 2024
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I like to let my phone die— I often don’t charge it overnight, and try not to plug it in during the day. If you’re able to access work/school through only your laptop, let your phone die, or leave it on the plug in another room. I also delete most apps from my phone for periods of weeks, and minimally use social media— if this works for you, it can feel very liberating, and makes me feel much less constantly accessible (which I think is a good thing). Something that helps me is thinking about the flattening of correspondence; before social media, if you wanted to communicate to a friend, it was one-on-one— you might write a letter, or call, or email, but what you were doing was conversational and relational. When we use social media, we flatten a lot of individual relationships into one relationship between us and our “audience.” Instead of sharing a thought or comment intended for one person, and designed for them to reply and continue the correspondence, we put out press releases on our own lives: “this is what I had for breakfast,” “this is a meme about my mental health,” and we become part of a passive audience in our friend’s lives. We end up feeling like we’ve just seen our friends, because we’re “viewing” their lives, but actually apps leave us feeling very isolated and anti-social. Try deleting your most used social media apps, and also schedule a walk/movie night/coffee with a friend. Outside of radical deletion, pick an audio book to listen to, and pair it with a hands on/tactile activity: you could load the dishwasher, or draw, or try embroidery.
Jul 29, 2024