Related Recs

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patriarchy & hookup culture?

ok disclaimer i don’t date men but people in my life do lol and i have a gender studies/sociology degree :) i agree with a lot of what aidanaguirre said & i also think other things at play are: - a cultural reactionary backlash to social progress for women & increased criticism of toxic masculinity and misogyny. given the norm of male entitlement to women’s affection, women raising their standardsover the years (due to feminist rhetoric) has increased some men feeling frustrated or even “incels” bc it’s “harder” to find a female partner. you see it a lot in the “sigma male” podcast world and a resurgence of “traditional family” ideology right now; all anti-female empowerment - dating app/hookup culture - i think 1) apps force split-second judgement on if someone’s attractive, and 2) hookup culture can encourage a culture of “disposability” w people we date or hookup with. this reinforces patriarchal ideals to men, which can make it harder to unlearn. (women too but that’s less related to your specific ask) the latter issue effects every gender/sexuality, but i think it’s heightened in cis het/bi guys bc their relationship to women is heavily influenced by their socialization. i rec this a lot lol but the tragedy of heterosexuality is a good read if you’re interested in contemporary issues in hetero dating from a sociological and anecdotal standpoint. ellen lamont’s research/work is great. there’s also this interesting 2023 study on men

@marxinista

Jul 4, 2024

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Was talking with a friend about this yesterday

She and I are both in the midst of a reckoning. We once saw romance as a narrative tool of oppression, a construct designed by the patriarchy to make women accept subjugation. But now we’re beginning to believe that it’s real and reconciling those two truths is proving more complicated than we expected. People today approach love like online comparison shopping, scrolling through options on apps. Instead of courtship, we have the “talking stage,” something that is noncommittal by design. But romance can’t be casual; it requires conviction and presence. It demands vulnerability and a kind of giving spirit that feels almost alien in a culture that prizes detachment and transactional connection. Romance isn’t dead—it’s just antithetical to the way we’ve been conditioned to interact.

@taterhole

Feb 18, 2025

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the dichotomy between girl-dinner and woman-belong-in-kitchen

pop culture is so interesting to me .. and both are harmful? who has a substack about this . i know youre out there . anyways i recommend thinking

@natmat

Feb 16, 2024

Top Recs from @stev1ekn1cks

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THE WHITE LOTUS, SEASON 1

rewatching this this week and this was TELEVISION!!! miss her bad

@stev1ekn1cks

Feb 29, 2024

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2

i fell down a flight of stairs at the colosseum the first time i ever went to europe. my mom is a nyc court stenographer and i grew up going to court with her as a kid.

@stev1ekn1cks

Apr 24, 2024

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L.E.S. ARTISTES BY SANTIGOLD

reminds me of driving around new york in my dad’s car in the late 2000s 🥲🫶🏾

@stev1ekn1cks

Feb 26, 2024