Seeking shelter in my catholic elementary school that has a cathedral inside the cathedral. Riding a Disneyland dark ride through every home I lived in as a kid. Driving down a highway that I understand to be inside of the Infinite Jest cover. Seeing a Tarantino movie about my friend in a theater that’s part-Pantheon part-hospital from Silent Hill 2.
Usually nothing really happens, I’m just sitting or walking around watching everyone else exist. They almost always feel melancholic/stilted, but I really enjoy it! I try and draw them in my dreams note if I can remember once I wake up
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yesterday, I sat in a movie theater, watching a 5/5 film, but somewhere between the frames, I slipped away in my own world. my eyes wandered around the room, scanning the foam-lined walls, the dust resting on cushioned seats, the soft glow of the screen flickering against strangers' faces. for a moment, I was no longer in the film— I was in my own world, watching, unnoticed, in a room full of people, feeling as though i am in a film myself.
it happens in the classroom too— pens scratching, pages turning, heads bent in deep concentration. and yet, I lift my gaze, watching the quiet rhythm of work, as if the scene before me is unfolding on a screen, as if I am only passing through.
maybe it’s a habit of slipping between worlds. one foot in reality, the other in observation. caught between being present and stepping back, seeing life not just as it is, but as a scene, a story, a moment unfolding. perhaps that’s the beauty of it — to exist both within and outside, to live and to notice, to be part of something yet still see it from afar.
Feb 22, 2025
sometimes I dissociate in public and am reminded of the rollercoaster parks I built as a 10-year old tycoon on a dell desktop computer. This often happens when I’m in crowds or see overflowing garbage cans, or when I view a large expanse of land from up above, like out the window of a plane about to land. We’re all little ants. 🐜
Jun 30, 2024
even if that’s watching the movie playtime or having it play in the background while you work
Jan 22, 2024
Top Recs from @kafkand
idc if I’ll use it maybe 5% of the time, I like to know it’s there!! Plus you’ll look so twee when you pull out a piece of hardware nobody has thought of in like 10 years
Apr 1, 2024
❓
Once a day allow yourself to slip into the hazy plane between waking life and habitual existence, as a treat
Mar 29, 2024
🎮
Can (and often do) gush about these for hours. Katamari Damacy is the most fun work of art you will ever engage with, wears its pop art influences on its sleeves and we're all better for it. Bloodbourne turned me from a distant FromSoft admirer to a boots on the ground freak. I think about starting a NG+ run at least once a day (it's been a year since rolling credits!). Hollow Knight is the best metroidvania by a very wide margin, have never beaten the final boss over the span of 4 playthroughs because the idea of it ending is too sad. Gorogoa is the only puzzle game I've enjoyed with no caveats, really wonderful gameplay and style!
Mar 26, 2024