Rec | ANTI-REC (INTERNALIZING WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU)

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anti-rec (internalizing what people say about you)

Sometimes, it just happens

@stephwisker

Apr 1, 2024

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projecting your insecurities

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@pete

Jan 23, 2024

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Anti-rec: being self-deprecating

I notice it the most when people receive good things from other people. I think it's an offense, not only to yourself, but to the people who care about you as well. They have a nice image of you in their head. By saying you don't deserve it, etc., you undermine your own image and you question their perspective on you. Why wouldn't you trust them? If somebody decided to spend their money on you on a night out with nothing in exchange but company, wouldn't that be nice? The thought that you went out that day and that was enough justification for someone to deem you worthy of a nice meal. You were you and that's all it mattered. Some may think it's narcissistic to think this way, or some may think I'm attaching the value people have of themselves to other people. I think it's about finding a balance. The value in the every day, hence the people surrounding you. Then again, if their heads went straight to these negative thoughts, they're probably self-deprecating themselves. Why would I trust that? Give yourself the grace you deserve by honoring the people who love you most.

@mariamaria

Oct 22, 2024

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Awareness of acute self criticism and remembering other ppl do this too

Something that helps me a lot is reminding myself that we all tend to evaluate our own actions under a microscopic lens, observing problems that others would never pick up on because they’re not looking at us that closely. We tend to be much more critical of our own actions than those of others. And everyone does it! So reminding myself of this fact helps prevent me from spiraling. ALSO: It can be very helpful to bring up a concern about something you did or said to a friend who was present at the time. 9/10 times they will tell you they hardly noticed it (if at all) and that it did not come off the way you feared. True friends will always accept you as you are and, as much as your anxiety brain would have you think otherwise, do not secretly hate you or think you’re lame!