Vampire Weekend is the best band of all time. I exclusively listen to Edith Piaf, the Newsies Soundtrack, and Vampire Weekend. But mostly Vampire Weekend. I play that shit on repeat all day long. I wake up and listen to “Horchata” for about an hour, then I move on to the song “Step” and then for the rest of the day, walking around New York, I listen to their album “Father of the Bride.” I fell in love for the first time to the sounds of Vampire Weekend, and so I just don’t see the point in listening to anything else. I’ve never had sex to Vampire Weekend but my next boyfriend will love doing that, I just know it. VW’s music lifts me up and shoves me down and makes me nostalgic for things I have and haven’t had. Their music works well in every country. I feel like life is big and beautiful and that I’m absolutely unstoppable when “I Stand Corrected” is blasting. People like to say I have terrible taste in music but I disagree. Also, there is nothing ironic about my praise here. I love Vampire Weekend. I hope one day I become semi-famous so that they will have no choice but to play at my wedding.