Related Recs

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focusing on being disliked by the right people instead of wanting to be liked by everyone

i often find myself wanting to be universally liked before i remember that actually, not only are there certain kinds of people that i don’t care about the opinions of, there are certain kinds of people who i actually *want* to dislike and resent me and i would be deeply uncomfortable being admired by. when you’re expressing a part of yourself that you’re afraid might make people dislike you, consider: what is the sort of person who would dislike me because of this? would i want to associate with that kind of person? very occasionally the answer might be yes, but often you’ll find that as soon as you concretely imagine the sort of person who is alienated by you (or unconventional trait X), you will find that it’s the sort of person you don’t want to associate with anyways! “be yourself” is not just good advice because it’s personally comforting - it’s also good advice because being yourself is a good way to filter out people from your life who aren’t ready for what you’re bringing to the table. stop thinking “do they wanna hang out with me” and start thinking “do i wanna hang out with them”

@dotmatrices

Oct 10, 2024

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Remind yourself that other people feel uncertain and anxious more often than you think

Some people are just better at handling it than others. Remember that it’s likely nobody is thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about yourself! If people are judging you, this is something you can either learn and grow from if you do something legitimately wrong, or they’re just being rude and critical for no reason and that’s a reflection on them. Give others grace, patience, and the benefit of the doubt and hopefully they’ll do the same for you. Not everybody will like you and that’s okay! And as much as we would like to think we can and as much effort as some may put into it, we can never truly control the way others perceive us. Find ways to develop self esteem and confidence that comes from within based off of traits you admire and respect about yourself regardless of what other people think. I would recommend that you undergo DIY exposure therapy by throwing yourself into lots of social scenarios big and small that make you blush and shake and feel like you want to crawl out of your skin. Go into public places and force yourself to make pleasant small talk with strangers + share something small about yourself with them! Ask people about themselves! Go to a party or an event and make it a goal to talk to X number of people. But also remember that you don’t have to share your whole personality with everyone you meet and depending on the context and circumstances it may not even be appropriate to do so. So maybe start with identifying aspects of your personality you want to show most consistently with everyone you meet and go from there!

@taterhole

May 16, 2024

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being disliked

blessing in disguise. if u arent pissing them off u arent doing it right! not worth acting like a fool cuz u wanna be liked. you’ll find your people when u live in authenticity. everything in alignment!! trust!!!

@venusinpain

Oct 24, 2024

Top Recs from @tomtomcsg

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slow down

Don’t rush anything - including your thoughts - thinking as long as you can before doing has shifted my life tremendously.

@tomtomcsg

Apr 12, 2024

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Ioniq 5n

I recently found out about this car from Hyundai. The styling is sort of reminiscent of a VW golf but with the modern Hyundai geometric look and I love it. It's an electric car that attempts to have a similar feel that a gas engine might have - even making fake rev noises - the styling is on point and of course being the N model it sure goes fast. If I had the money I would.

@tomtomcsg

Apr 12, 2024