Some people are just better at handling it than others. Remember that it’s likely nobody is thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about yourself! If people are judging you, this is something you can either learn and grow from if you do something legitimately wrong, or they’re just being rude and critical for no reason and that’s a reflection on them. Give others grace, patience, and the benefit of the doubt and hopefully they’ll do the same for you.
Not everybody will like you and that’s okay! And as much as we would like to think we can and as much effort as some may put into it, we can never truly control the way others perceive us. Find ways to develop self esteem and confidence that comes from within based off of traits you admire and respect about yourself regardless of what other people think.
I would recommend that you undergo DIY exposure therapy by throwing yourself into lots of social scenarios big and small that make you blush and shake and feel like you want to crawl out of your skin. Go into public places and force yourself to make pleasant small talk with strangers + share something small about yourself with them! Ask people about themselves! Go to a party or an event and make it a goal to talk to X number of people.
But also remember that you don’t have to share your whole personality with everyone you meet and depending on the context and circumstances it may not even be appropriate to do so. So maybe start with identifying aspects of your personality you want to show most consistently with everyone you meet and go from there!
May 16, 2024
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used to struggle a lot with this, was definitely due in part to a lot of insecurity but also some diagnosed anxiety issues. medication helped for me with the latter, but the insecurity I def had to tackle as I got older.
one thing that helped me was framing interactions differently. with an insecure mindset, each interaction has the subconscious goal to have the other person like you. that’s a lot of pressure! of course that will make you nervous if you feel like you’re always being evaluated. truth is some people won’t like you, some people will really like you, but most folks that you only meet in passing aren’t really thinking deeper than the immediate interaction and will find you pleasant if you have basic manners and such. ultimately, though, it’s entirely out of your control how others will perceptive you!
instead, I found that interactions are best if you approach them with authenticity and curiosity. all you gotta do is be your true self, people will think what they may but at least you’re being perceived as you and not you trying to perform how you think will be best received. and people generally want to know the people they're around! you should bring that assumption and just let the other person know you. you don’t need to be funny or an expert story teller, getting to know someone can be rewarding in and of itself. and you’re worth knowing! internalizing that truth will develop confidence.
in turn, get to know them! over the course of a conversation, you can really learn a lot about someone by just asking questions as they come up. be curious! it’s not prying, people love talking about who they are (within reason obv). interactions are hard if you don’t have anything to go off of, and that will always be awkward. so your goal is just to get to know a bit about who the person you’re interacting with is, maybe you’ll find something that resonates and then the interaction will come so naturally.
ultimately, no one thinks about you more than yourself. and that’s not to say you’re insignificant, but most people are too busy thinking about themselves to think too hard about you. whatever little minor thing you did or said, or how you looked or acted, so much of that will not be scrutinized by someone else nearly to the point you’ll scrutinize it because you think they’re scrutinizing it. find some relief knowing that you’re not being microanalyzed by anything other than your own insecurity, and you can choose not to listen.
May 13, 2024
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Put yourself into increasingly mortifying social situations that make you think what am I even doing here and participate fully (bonus if it’s performance-arts-related). Remember to take deep breaths! Try to keep in mind that nobody is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about yourself. Develop your self-esteem and believe that though there’s always room for self-improvement, who you are is enough. Trust that most people are kind and understanding and if they aren’t that’s a reflection of their own moral character. The physiological feelings of anxiety might never go away but you can learn to react to them!
Apr 12, 2024
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i wouldn’t necessarily say their reaction comes from insecurity or low self-esteem but from a lack of understanding. it is very rare for people to have the confidence that you describe yourself to have so i just don’t think people are used to it and then make an assumption based off of what they are used to and familiar with.
for advice though i’m not too sure tbh… the only thing i could suggest is making an effort to show your kindness, at least in the beginning of meeting. as much as you don’t care about how others think of you which i agree with and relate to, i think it is important to care about how you make others feel, regardless of intention. definitely not saying you don’t already but i know from my own experience, that awareness has been lost from me countless times :)
Feb 27, 2025
Top Recs from @taterhole
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌
Feb 23, 2025
Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ✅💅
Feb 27, 2025
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I’ve been thinking about how much of social media is centered around curating our self-image. When selfies first became popular, they were dismissed as vain and vapid—a critique often rooted in misogyny—but now, the way we craft our online selves feels more like creating monuments.
We try to signal our individuality, hoping to be seen and understood, but ironically, I think this widens the gap between how others perceive us and who we really are. Instead of fostering connection, it can invite projection and misinterpretation—preconceived notions, prefab labels, and stereotypes. Worse, individuality has become branded and commodified, reducing our identities to products for others to consume.
On most platforms, validation often comes from how well you can curate and present your image—selfies, aesthetic branding, and lifestyle content tend to dominate. High engagement is tied to visibility, not necessarily depth or substance. But I think spaces like PI.FYI show that there’s another way: where connection is built on shared ideas, tastes, and interests rather than surface-level content. It’s refreshing to be part of a community that values thoughts over optics.
By sharing so few images of myself, I’ve found that it gives others room to focus on my ideas and voice. When I do share an image, it feels intentional—something that contributes to the story I want to tell rather than defining it. Sharing less allows me to express who I am beyond appearance.
For women, especially, sharing less can be a radical act in a world where the default is to objectify ourselves. It resists the pressure to center appearance, focusing instead on what truly matters: our thoughts, voices, and authenticity. I’ve posted a handful of pictures of myself in 2,500 posts because I care more about showing who I am than how I look.
In trying to be seen, are we making it harder for others to truly know us? It’s a question worth considering.
Dec 27, 2024