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There's actually nothing wrong with this. If your friends are going to a film screening that seems stupid you should go with them because you get to hang out with your friends. If your friends are signing up for an app that nobody will be using in 3 weeks you should sign up because you get to hang out with your friends. Simple as
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concert? play? Reading? niche movie screening? Rave? Restaurant you want to try? whatever it is, try to wrangle friends if its up their alley (not a pro-antisocial message here) but if it does not work out, take urself! literally worst case scenario absolutely no one gives a fuck best case you make new circumstantial friends. Every one is busy making money and chasing what inspires them to stay here so schedules align once in a blue moon, donβt let that stop you from discovering / enjoying shit.
Feb 21, 2024
This is actually so easy and yet.
You're capable of meeting all of your own needs and when you accept this (and expect this people are just automatically drawn in.
If there's a movie you wanna go see, make the plan to go see it by yourself, and next time you're in a group of people (at work at a bar whateva) share with the group that you're going to see the movie on this date at this time and anyone is free to come.
You'll be surprised at how many people will join on things. And any time anyone doesn't, it's nothing to you bc you were gonna go by yourself anyway.
People are just really scared to invite people to things and even more scared to invite themselves. So just be the person to invite. If they come that's gorgeous if they don't that's also gorgeous you get to see the film either way (or go to the concert or museum or whatev)
Feb 15, 2025
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idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing
to find friends:
1. do something consistently
2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves
3. do something that requires discussion
exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom.
on becoming friends:
1. open invites
2. follow ups
now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite.
on being friends:
1. do
the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit
also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be
Jan 27, 2025
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Get a game of chess in. Bust out the milk frother. No need to get any real work done but there's nothing like floating around your house before work without urgency
Apr 22, 2024
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Do I really have to sell you on a night walk
Apr 14, 2024
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Talking about chess but really you can do this with anything. Nice and humbling.You can also get good at it again if its important to you
Apr 13, 2024