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I envy everyone

Life is fucking confusing, and every want comes with a doubt. As far as I can tell, your 20s (I’m 27) are about cobbling together a life while wondering if you should blow it all up. And then someday, hopefully, you fall in love with yourself (or something) and that love becomes a foundation for everything else. I know people who have built things up and torn them down, people who have made irrevocable choices, people who are coasting. I want all of their lives, sometimes, because I’m sick of the choices I made. I think that’s just fear of commitment, and not taking good care of myself—but who knows, maybe I’m about to make some choices for the plot. The people who seem to have it all figured out may be crumbling beneath the surface (me irl). The ones I trust the most know how to look around and say “there but for the grace of god go I.” You‘re never too old to let whatever you’ve been collecting slip through your fingers and choose again.

@bluz

Jul 11, 2024

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A Case of Arrested Development?

First of all, this is definitely normal and you’re absolutely not alone in it. But I think you may be ascribing self-actualization and self-assuredness to those a few years younger than you a little too hastily. People who had their middle-school years disrupted by the pandemic also dealt with/continue to deal with the effects of missing out on formative social and personal development, all the while with less developed brains! Not to mention the people you’re seeing are the ones out at shows, not the ones staying home with social anxiety or panic attacks. So although it may seem from your observation that people in this age range are doing just great, it sounds like you’re comparing yourself to a skewed group through an internalized lens of cultural bias towards youth – quite a combo. And that’s just not being fair to yourself. The fact that you are getting back out there is big and needs to be acknowledged. Instead, you’re positively projecting and amplifying, i.e., seeing in them what you are having trouble finding in yourself. But it is in there – the proof is that you’re showing up. Same thing for self-expression – have you seen your own pfp? You seem cool af! Because of the pandemic, you’ve had a unique and unfortunate generational experience of this “arrested development”, but this also creates an opportunity to further the paradigm shift that royallmonarch focused on in his lovely essay. Societal expectations based around age are out; living your life on your own timeline is in. Life happens; shit happens. But you’re getting through it and you’re doing great. Youth/very young adults who make their youth their personality are actually boring people. Adults who pine about their younger days are also boring. Don’t be either! And if it makes you feel any better, I was at my peak “reckless” right at your age; I got a “late” start. You have so much time to keep doing fun stuff and most importantly, to figure out what you like and don’t like. I’m in my 30s and I’m going to a friend’s rave tomorrow. Ok, it’s a well-organized, well-curated event and not some shit-show in the bush, but still. It’s not over for me! Another night, I’ll stay home and pet my cats. Either way, I’m doing whatever the fuck I want. People take up painting or whatever in their 80s. The sooner you get on that vibe, the better. Ok go have fun!

@solomonki

Jul 11, 2024

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You can always be free.

the idea that you can only fuck up and express and be beautiful and destructive and explorative and constructive in your youth is simply a myth. you are going to continue to fuck up and you are going to continue to blossom. there's no linear path and structure on that. even people in their 50's completely change their entire lives. nothing is fixed and there is no path to follow. your life isn't over until it's over. this narrative that once you start to age you can no longer explore and express is an oppressive, capitalist, and intentional one. also, it's just not true. your responsibility doesn't have to be boring or restrictive. the reason why you become more responsible is because you actually care about yourself. irresponsibility isn't the same as freedom. irresponsibility can be "fun" but also destroys you. having more responsibilities to keep yourself safe and cared for isn't the antithesis to fun and life and expression. your feelings make sense though. in college it's easier to meet people and try new things. but ease doesn't translate to quality or longevity or intrigue. but funny enough, there are 30 year olds now that probably feel the exact same way about you as you feel about the people slightly younger than you. there is no such thing as free years in terms of spirit. expression and exploration is available in all forms at all ages. there are always places to go, hikes to walk, friends to laugh with, mistakes to make, good food to eat, art to create, fights to have, things to fail at, lessons to be learned, and love to be felt. you're only 23. you're about to enter a new chapter of your life where you will fuck up and you will have stories to tell, adventure to explore, feelings to express, and people to love. and that is something that will always be true.

@katialisa

Jul 11, 2024

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Top Recs from @notlyndsie

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Simple skincare

no more 20+ step routines full of products targeting made up issues created by corporations. no more ‘anti-aging’ tags. less is more. aging is normal.

@notlyndsie

Apr 22, 2024

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messaging everyone in ur phone after one glass of wine

its not embarrassing at all, everyone actually loves hearing from you at any and all absurd hours of the night for no particular reason at all <33

@notlyndsie

Apr 14, 2024

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wine and weed by an open window while it rains

specifically late night after a long shift while I journal and feel all too self important like every other 20 something does

@notlyndsie

Apr 14, 2024