the idea that you can only fuck up and express and be beautiful and destructive and explorative and constructive in your youth is simply a myth. you are going to continue to fuck up and you are going to continue to blossom. there's no linear path and structure on that. even people in their 50's completely change their entire lives. nothing is fixed and there is no path to follow. your life isn't over until it's over. this narrative that once you start to age you can no longer explore and express is an oppressive, capitalist, and intentional one. also, it's just not true. your responsibility doesn't have to be boring or restrictive. the reason why you become more responsible is because you actually care about yourself. irresponsibility isn't the same as freedom. irresponsibility can be "fun" but also destroys you. having more responsibilities to keep yourself safe and cared for isn't the antithesis to fun and life and expression. your feelings make sense though. in college it's easier to meet people and try new things. but ease doesn't translate to quality or longevity or intrigue. but funny enough, there are 30 year olds now that probably feel the exact same way about you as you feel about the people slightly younger than you. there is no such thing as free years in terms of spirit. expression and exploration is available in all forms at all ages. there are always places to go, hikes to walk, friends to laugh with, mistakes to make, good food to eat, art to create, fights to have, things to fail at, lessons to be learned, and love to be felt. you're only 23. you're about to enter a new chapter of your life where you will fuck up and you will have stories to tell, adventure to explore, feelings to express, and people to love. and that is something that will always be true.
Jul 11, 2024

Comments (3)

Make an account to reply.
image
this is so beautifully stated and helpful. thank you so much for your insight and for taking the time to write this! i agree, the idea that people have to be "boring" and never grow or change once they reach a certain age is definitely harmful and very intentionally capitalist. it's just been very difficult for me to un-internalize, despite that knowledge. especially on social media, everyone seems to push youth in regards to beauty standards and life experience. i think your point that irresponsibility does not equal freedom, and responsibility does not equal boredom is something that i really needed to hear. i do feel like adopting more responsibilities has also allowed me to have increased independence, which has been very relieving in its own way. it would definitely help me to lean into that mindset & that gives me a lot more hope for the future!
Jul 11, 2024
image
gforce2001 yea it's hard when knowledge doesn't always translate into feeling. i think that's why i always try to practice gratitude to bridge that gap. its truly a privilege to age. i can't waste that privilege agonizing over a fake path and instead i have to just live my life with the time that i've been given. aging is enriching and eternal and beautiful <33 im glad i could help :)
Jul 11, 2024
image
katialisa gratitude is such a good method! i never thought of using that as a bridge for that gap but I'm going to try that more :)
Jul 11, 2024

Related Recs

recommendation image
👒
I turned 21 in february 2020, so, ya know. My world changed quick. But truly I just remember trying various things, trying to define and undefine myself. Feeling what it felt like to stick to my guns, then readjust them. I was in the middle of what would be a 2.5 year relationship. I didn't kid myself with picturing a big future anymore than what was sweet, which was wonderful. I was living with a partner for the first time and felt like I knew what to do, like I was experienced enough for all the problems which faced me. but really I was just experienced enough to start so many things. I was constantly bouncing between total pride and complete faliure. Playing house in a house I was actually renting with friends. Experimenting with what grocery shopping for myself meant to my life, redifining how I was going to live my days in the future. The best thing I did in my 21st year of life was not be too mean to myself for not committing, and just committing to new things. I would go dance in the park, go on walks, edit music. All things I wish I did on the regular but regardless, by trying new things, it made it so much easier to pick them up, because I had a frame of reference for the world. I loved being 20, as depressed as I was. That specific creativity is gone. But now I am 25 and know how to weild my own magic. The depth I have always felt within my soul has farther definition. Its like I put on glasses in a 7th dimention. Don't underestimate the beautiful growth ahead. Yes you are an adult, equipped hopefully to start so many new things. But keep up that internal work, and the years will be bountiful towards true inner peace. And soo many more new tools to better learn how to tackle issues while still feeling like yourself. u got this. stay true to urself but be flexibl with redifining who that is. x
Jun 12, 2024
🎨
I’m about to turn 30 and idk if my 21 year old self would approve of where I’m at—but my 6 year old self sure as hell would!! I think a lot of life is finding your way back to Little You. Being 21 is so so hard, and in college you’re first starting to see that you can’t judge your progress based on other people. Even though that’s how you were taught to judge yourself up until this point. The things you want now probably won’t matter to you in a few years, and for me that would have sounded terrifying at 21. But that doesn’t mean the things you want now aren’t important. You can think of it in terms of tattoos. If you get a tattoo at 16 it’s not because you know it will represent you always and forever—it’s to commemorate a moment, a feeling of boldness you wanted to wear proudly. And down the line you don’t look at it with regret, but a softness for that younger part of you. Feel your feelings fully in this moment! Be bold with what you care about! Every age is special. Practical advice: Try to listen to your body and not your head. Do I actually like how I feel spending time with this person? Am I going through the motions of this hobby because I think it will service something else? Does xyz come naturally to me, or does it feel forced? No action needed. This exercise isn’t about flipping your life upside down, just take notice of how your body feels in certain situations. Start to notice when you’re in fight or flight versus happy and free. Find the ease and follow it
Jan 25, 2025
📅
you’re not in denial about your feelings! and you shouldn’t be because there’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you do especially because you want to change this train of thought. i’m 26, lived a very sheltered life and would probably be what may be considered a “late bloomer”. couple that with only going to community college and graduating in the midst of lockdowns, i “lost” even more of my “younger years”. when i was 21-24, i definitely let those same emotions run their course on me. i used to get pretty upset even watching coming of age movies or watching college kids go about their day to day lives. i realized i didn’t want that feeling to run my life. as harsh as it sounds, you just have to remind yourself that you cannot go back in time. you’ll waste more time wallowing than you will growing and learning and exploring, causing you to internalize these negative feelings more. go out and explore and make mistakes and make sure to surround yourself with people are accepting of the fleeting nature of life as well. also, you have so much adulthood ahead of you. 23 is not much in the grand scheme of things. i’m sure there are people 20, 30, 40+ years older than you who haven’t worked through this thought process yet and are jealous of your youth. from where i stand right now, and based off those i know who are older than me, you never really stop learning how to be an adult. all in all, there is no switch to turn off your emotions, so i know it’s easier said than done. 23 in general seems to be a rough year existentially for many, so just know you’re not alone, especially in the current cultural context. aging is a gift! so try to accept that gift gracefully by going easy on yourself.
Jul 11, 2024

Top Recs from @katialisa

🧨
this is a 6 episode show thats more like a mini series. its directed by and starring phoebe waller bridge (fleabag). it's short, sweet, hilarious, and on netflix. highly recommend for wackiness and intrigue.
Jul 13, 2024
🧭
insane that this is a tiktok comment from a couple of years ago but i think about it everyday. in reference to longterm goals and projects, where you're like ughhh that'll take so long though. the time will pass anyway. might as well <3
Mar 25, 2024