It's easy to get trapped in the intense emotions of those moments, and I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Try to distance yourself from the event as much as you can (don't take your work home, do something you enjoy after work, take a de-stressing nap, etc.) I've been in various support positions for over 10 years at this point, and you eventually start to get a thick skin for the irrational jerks out there, but here are some methods you can use to reframe things when it feels like too much:
- Think about the relative importance of the task at hand. So many things we get bogged down with in our day to day work is practically meaningless in the grand scheme of things. "We're not saving lives." is a phrase I hear quite a bit, so unless you actually are, it might help to think of how ridiculous it is for the person on the other end to get worked up over something not going as planned.
- Consider your worth as an individual in that moment. Just because your job is to help others doesn't mean it's not their job to treat you like a fellow human. I've had several managers over the years that have really stepped up in situations that escalated past the point of reason. Those moments helped me realize I should be advocating for myself more.
- Remember you're not responsible for other peoples' reactions. I have seen people start fuming over the most basic of obstacles, while others have approached fairly large problems with a completely calm, collected demeanor. Even if you were at fault for something that got messed up, an explosive reaction from the other side just exposes the type of person they are. It's not about you or your competence!
Hang in there, and I hope some of this helps