I was with my ex gf again. We were out getting Thai food, and we’d take breaks from the food to have sex in the bathroom. The sex was wrong. I would put her up on one of those koala care diaper changing stations, pull her underwear off, and perform oral sex on her. We’d go back & eat pad Thai. After having more food, we would go back into the bathroom. This continued for a time.
Something she said to me a few weeks ago, in waking life, right before we split was “You know Jake, on our first date— when you drank all that water & couldn’t stop excusing yourself to the bathroom, I remember thinking ’I could see myself marrying this guy & then divorcing him’“. I thought of her saying that.
In the dream all of our friends joined us at the table after our last trip to the bathroom. We’d sit next to each other, I’d turn to face her, and she’d be gone.
Apr 22, 2024
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had this dream a few days ago and i can't stop thinking about it.
i was at this very hippie, psychedelic inspired festival but my mom and some other family member were with me also. we are about to leave when i see this huge building overgrown with moss and vines. it looks like a mayan building, not the usual pyramidal temple like thing but more like the inside of a palace that had the height of about 3 two-storey houses.
i walk closer and closer and see the arc of an entrance that i just know is off limits to the public, perhaps because it leads to their sacred city.
a shaman appears from the entrance, makes his way to the open space where lots of peolpe are gathered now as if we were in a theatre. now the lights are all on the 'stage' shining on him as he starts dancing and doing tricks. he has a bunch of different knives, necklaces and artifacts i can't identify and the show feels magical. however, suddenly a man sneaks up to where the shaman has intricately placed his 'props' and takes them one by one. i am watching in utter disbelief about how disrespectful this is but somehow i have this insight that the robber man has been drugged with something that is making him act completely out of character.
the shaman of course notices what he's doing and asks him to leave and give his things back multiple times in the calmest voice. this is until about the 4th time when the guy is finally escorted out of the place by some club bouncers. because of the time trying to get him off the stage took up, the shaman's show had to end early to get back on schedule for whoever is performing next.
i notice i am now sitting at a table, farther from the stage with some of my family, with my mom's best friend on my left side and her husband on my right. the next show starts and it's a hungarian band singing one of the most popular songs in hungary (unfortunately i can not remember which one they played) but it was interrupted by the drugged man who now appears to be on a stretcher, tied down, he's foaming at the mouth, lips swollen to thrice their original size and his eyes look like he had been crying for hours or as if he was having a serious allergic reaction.
i redirect my attention to the menu/table we're sitting at and my legs feel really cold so i ask dora (mom's friend) if she can give me some of the blanket her and the other people are covering their legs with. the blanket is not long enough so she covers only my left leg and her husband my right with the blanket the other side of the table had too lol
dora then starts apologising for not bringing me any presents, even though she knew i would be here.
i ask my mom if there are any news about my childhood best friend (the neighbour that my parents still live beside) and one of my old classmates from primary school because i dreamt of them 2 days before i was in this dream (i remembered the dream i had while dreaming???!!!). but she says no nothing new except old classmate now has an online brownie store (website is xyzbrownie.data) and sells little cereal shape brownies of all kinds of flavours.
the waiter comes and it's my best friend from hungary and she asks me if we're ready to order but my mom's ex-friend cuts me off and asks for a cappuccino.
abruptly i awaken
Jul 17, 2024
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i was in my house, having to get ready to present a tv show. When trying to leave my home i was met witha pool my neighbor had set up with 8 in his eyes beautiful women, swimming in my yard. When i finall managed to leave my house i entered this restaurant which had a 'love' theme, somehow my dad was there with me. on tv the short film for bowies blue jean was playing, but with 'modern love' as a song under it. My dad wouldnt let us sit inside and made us sit outside so he could smoke. I went to the bathroom and it was in a 'love meter' hallway. youd be locked in there till someone else alsohad to use the bathroom and you would have to talk. the next day (in my dream) i woke up and practice dmy mime end performance (i had not thought about it in wakig life) where two characters were in a sandbox, one destroying the sand castle after it was carefully crafted
Feb 1, 2025
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also pls keep in mind i wrote this in the middle of the night at like 3am
DREAM
4 men live together in a house in feudal era japan
3 of them dress as women and are happiest when together
they tell jokes and sing and go out to the tea room place where they have tea and gossip
one day the police rush in and kills them except 2 who hid and ran
the police officer steps on the blood of the two men he have killed and then leave
the one who dresses like a woman was left crying and dragging their bodies to i believe die with them
but the other comes out and stops them
they go to the tea shop but the woman dressing one man is obviously upset and angry and saying things like how the police are awful the other man one warns them to stop or they will get in trouble
Jun 14, 2024
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sometimes you just need to read some real shit straight from the realest person you know .
Feb 24, 2025
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This is a confession post, not a recommendation, not even much of an anti-recommendation. Tbh it reads like a humilation ritual. Honestly just keep scrolling; it's not worth reading. I'm just posting it because I think I had a point when I first started writing this, one which I lost pretty wuickly. But I spent a good couple of minutes typing this all out, so I'll post it anyway. Thank God I'm anon. If you do read it, please forgive me.
My friend Tyler brought a joint to the super bowl party last night. He handed it to me & told me about how it had weed diamonds in it while I smoked, he told me that it was some good shit and that I wouldn't have to smoke so much of it since I've got such a low tolerance & all, but I could also smoke as much as I liked, seeing as he had a bunch more & that it was the super bowl & we had a bunch of wings on the way anyway, so might as well smoke some more weed so you know what? yeah, i smoked some more weed since what's the harm anyway it's just weed after all.
I've been a mess all day. I've been slow & stupid & disgustingly horny since I woke up this morning; but really honestly since I smoked the weed. If you're one of those types that "actually becomes more functional when you're smoking weed" & that I should "just let people enjoy things" I don't know what to say to you. I'm going to be weird for 4 weeks now and it's all my fault. This happens every time.
Even when it doesn't turn me into a non-verbal paranoiac nutcase, even when it's enjoyable to me in that moment-- I become something lower than a beast. I stand over the platter of chicken wings & gorge until I am sick and then I gorge even more. My stomach becomes distended & my face and fingers are covered in thai curry buffalo chicken fat goo. I waddle around & fart & I find this very funny. I confuse the sound of my own voice with that of my younger sisters & this is incredibly disqueting to me. Do I really sound like that? I become a big confused overgrown fat baby.
I'm going to be be weird for four weeks now. Slow. I was supposed to meet up with my friends to watch Luka's debut for the Lakers. I'm stitting at my desk typing this up; procrastinating going to the gym (which I can NOT neglect [especially after my evening of spiritual obesity]) & the game starts in 5 minutes. Stupid. Typing out this confession right now is painfully difficult. Every word that I type has the appearance of a whitehead that can't be popped to me. This textbox full of blemishes so infuriatingly, stubbornly, immutably DISGUSTING. I feel sick just reading back what I'm writing here. Once again, if you've made it this far, forgive me. This is a confession, not a recommendation. Disgustingly horny. This one I won't elaborate on. Forgive me.
It's not because I smoked weed. The smoking of the weed was just the first movement in a sequence that had already begun before I'd even accepted the joint from Tyler. My own spiritual weakness is the mantle upon which all of these failings hang. I'm not this way because I smoked weed, I'm this way because I'm the type of guy that smokes weed even though I know what it will do to me. There are 999,999,999 other weeds in my life that I am all too willing to permit myself. I haven't eaten anything but bread & butter all day. The lakers game is starting soon. Off to the gym I go.
Feb 11, 2025
Mar 4, 2025