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This is a confession post, not a recommendation, not even much of an anti-recommendation. Tbh it reads like a humilation ritual. Honestly just keep scrolling; it's not worth reading. I'm just posting it because I think I had a point when I first started writing this, one which I lost pretty wuickly. But I spent a good couple of minutes typing this all out, so I'll post it anyway. Thank God I'm anon. If you do read it, please forgive me. My friend Tyler brought a joint to the super bowl party last night. He handed it to me & told me about how it had weed diamonds in it while I smoked, he told me that it was some good shit and that I wouldn't have to smoke so much of it since I've got such a low tolerance & all, but I could also smoke as much as I liked, seeing as he had a bunch more & that it was the super bowl & we had a bunch of wings on the way anyway, so might as well smoke some more weed so you know what? yeah, i smoked some more weed since what's the harm anyway it's just weed after all. I've been a mess all day. I've been slow & stupid & disgustingly horny since I woke up this morning; but really honestly since I smoked the weed. If you're one of those types that "actually becomes more functional when you're smoking weed" & that I should "just let people enjoy things" I don't know what to say to you. I'm going to be weird for 4 weeks now and it's all my fault. This happens every time. Even when it doesn't turn me into a non-verbal paranoiac nutcase, even when it's enjoyable to me in that moment-- I become something lower than a beast. I stand over the platter of chicken wings & gorge until I am sick and then I gorge even more. My stomach becomes distended & my face and fingers are covered in thai curry buffalo chicken fat goo. I waddle around & fart & I find this very funny. I confuse the sound of my own voice with that of my younger sisters & this is incredibly disqueting to me. Do I really sound like that? I become a big confused overgrown fat baby. I'm going to be be weird for four weeks now. Slow. I was supposed to meet up with my friends to watch Luka's debut for the Lakers. I'm stitting at my desk typing this up; procrastinating going to the gym (which I can NOT neglect [especially after my evening of spiritual obesity]) & the game starts in 5 minutes. Stupid. Typing out this confession right now is painfully difficult. Every word that I type has the appearance of a whitehead that can't be popped to me. This textbox full of blemishes so infuriatingly, stubbornly, immutably DISGUSTING. I feel sick just reading back what I'm writing here. Once again, if you've made it this far, forgive me. This is a confession, not a recommendation. Disgustingly horny. This one I won't elaborate on. Forgive me. It's not because I smoked weed. The smoking of the weed was just the first movement in a sequence that had already begun before I'd even accepted the joint from Tyler. My own spiritual weakness is the mantle upon which all of these failings hang. I'm not this way because I smoked weed, I'm this way because I'm the type of guy that smokes weed even though I know what it will do to me. There are 999,999,999 other weeds in my life that I am all too willing to permit myself. I haven't eaten anything but bread & butter all day. The lakers game is starting soon. Off to the gym I go.
Feb 11, 2025

Comments (21)

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I’m right there with you with my spiritual weakness and inability to be normal whilst high. Immediately become incredibly off putting, straightly replying to questions asked 5 minutes ago, shoving my hands in my mouth to get the full experience of the 7th packet of pop rocks, throwing said packets on the floor, and being weird and dissociative for the entire next month. And yet I always do it again, even after I greened out and fell to the floor in an elevator. Such is our trial.
Feb 12, 2025
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eatgraeps I shall still be angry with my coachman Ivan, I shall still quarrel and discuss things, I shall still express my thoughts out of place — there will still be a wall between the holy of holies of my soul and other people, even my wife — I shall still blame her for my own fears and shall repent of it — I shall still not understand with my reason why I pray, and yet I shall continue to pray — but my life now, my whole life apart from anything that can happen to me, every minute of it is no longer meaningless as it was before, but has the unquestionable meaning of the good which it is in my power to put into it
Feb 13, 2025
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that was an art piece ngl, but only eating bread and butter all day is a mood, that was me yesterday minus the weed hangover, and I forced myself to the gym too, anyways amazing post I'm obsessed with it, sorry about the whole situation for you tho
Feb 11, 2025
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moonbeams sometimes bread and butter is the only acceptable food, you know? thank you for your kind words
Feb 11, 2025
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steelyfan1998 dude tell me about it, food is food and if that's all I can handle that's what it's gonna be
Feb 11, 2025
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I love to smoke weed because it makes me shiver uncontrollably for hours and my whole body hurts 😀 also, you’re an excellent writer!
Feb 11, 2025
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ivymu only acceptable reason to smoke weed. You’re very kind, thank you
Feb 11, 2025
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This was the most awesome post, incredibly written, I loved it
Feb 11, 2025
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valoorie you flatter me! I’m glad you enjoyed it
Feb 11, 2025
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what are even weed diamonds? i faint every time i smoke american weed, it‘s just too strong. so i feel you, hope you feel better soon.
Feb 11, 2025
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thecloud they’re these resin shatter crystals. Very high concentration of THC. The European mind— for the best— cannot comprehend
Feb 11, 2025
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fab
Feb 11, 2025
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Oh the plus side, you really have a way with words. Hope you feel better sooner than 4 weeks from now 🫶
Feb 11, 2025
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mossyelfie you're too kind elfie! too kind
Feb 11, 2025
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I don’t know why I guessed you posted this like five words in. Go eat several black peppercorns if you can or try to get ahold of some CBD it may help you… solidarity I had to stop smoking weed years ago because it makes me green out and think I’m going to die basically every time!! the stuff they make now is just nuclear but I feel like bad Mexican ditch weed with stems and seeds in it could save me
Feb 11, 2025
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taterhole as always, thanks doc. will try the peppercorns tomorrow. u are my guiding light
Feb 11, 2025
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steelyfan1998 just looked up the peppercorn thing and I am stunned. That’s so weird. But I’m right there with you both. I’m absolutely cannot tolerate weed anymore. I always just end up feeling like a like I’m stuffed with cotton and trapped in my body.
Feb 11, 2025
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steelyfan1998 I’m actually so stupid because when you made your post I read it as if you were currently also high not suffering the woeful effects of a weed hangover. But there’s a little tip for you. Maybe try like Vitamin B-12 and phosphatidyl serine lol 🫶
Feb 11, 2025
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florinegrassenhopper whatever they are putting in weed now they need to stop it. Make America Smoke Shake Again
Feb 11, 2025
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taterhole ✍️✍️✍️✍️ I stg tater I’m gonna stop paying my insurance premiums one day & just come to you for medical advice
Feb 11, 2025
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steelyfan1998 lay it on me anytime sir steely
Feb 11, 2025

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I started smoking weed as a young high schooler who had been craving drugs most of my youth, out of curiosity, wanting to fit in, wanting to quiet voices, and when it did all the things i wanted it to do i leaned on it for years. Clung to it. But, after going cold turkey on my antidepressants due to being sick of them, weed was my friend. She helped me calm, regulate, laugh, she reminded me to eat, and best of all share with people i loved. I don’t need anything to do that anymore (Shout out frontal lobe development) and due to being broke in college, i smoke significantly less, and now only when i want to, not because i need to. which is nice! addiction sucks bawwwllsss and my sprint away from who i used to be with substances has slowed into a nice jog.
Feb 18, 2025
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it will make everything in your head, good and bad, feel sharper. if you can’t do it then maybe take that as a bad sign. speaking as someone who had to take it as a bad sign
Feb 8, 2024

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