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le bain 5/2 breakdown

1.. was having so much fun was not aware of celebs around 2… i think i saw someone that people have cancelled and i used to have a crush on but also my other friend he told me “ you like bad boys” 3… cobra snake was there 4…. i was sad about not getting charli xcx tickets for any of her tours and she shows up 5… mutual friend mutual knows the person posted on charlis story saw his ex … i met his ex later on 6… keep getting told i should act or model 7… the only time i was at le bain i got refused entrance (for my youth i bet but i literally am over 21) and they let my friend in but we both left that time and went to monkey something around the corner 8… i was the first person in line and felt crazy there was no one but then it was so sweaty and gross .. city is getting warmer but the club was not air conditioned 9… crossing my fingers this event is not the last of its kind

@frutigerdisco

May 4, 2024

🪩

The kids are alright

In the grim club loos, I met two much younger boys who asked if I was enjoying the show. I said it was my favourite DJ but I had no way of seeing him from the far back of the crowd (I am a small woman). Suddenly, each boy took me by one of my arms, flanked either side, and then forcefully parted the sea of 500 aggressive youths (Moses style) in order to get me to the front of my favourite DJ’s set. Once they had deposited me directly in front of the DJ, they disappeared anonymously and wordlessly back into the crowd.

@sheriff

Apr 17, 2024

🌵

feeling every possible emotion at coachellA

- You go to Coachella with your best friend and a house of 13 people, over half you haven’t met before  - be awkward on the first night because you don’t know how to be around people anymore after living in your hometown for so long and barely interacting with people who aren't your mom or a customer at work.  - Brush your teeth a couple of times to quell anxiety before putting on a face to meet eight new people. Party with everyone. Trade notes on who you're excited to see. Everyone makes fun of you for looking forward to Grimes but you don't care.  - You wake up the next morning and get ready with everyone. Dance around to house music with a vodka soda your best friend made you that you didn't want but she didn't hear you properly. - Get in the car on the way to the fest. A guy in the house seems to be really into you. He's very touchy and insisted you sit next to him. Have no idea what to do with it so you don’t do anything. You act as polite as possible but your best friend is gagging for it beside you.  - watch Sabrina Carpenter slay, sing Espresso live, and then bring Norah Jones out to sing ’Don’t Know Why’ at sunset. Cry.  - watch Lana del Rey bring our Camilla Cabello in one of the most random pop culture moments in history. Cry, but this time tears of laughter.  - Have someone you just met in ur house faint in ur arms after it looks like he’s had a seizure. You ask for help, insisting that he’s getting too heavy for you, but everyone‘s too shocked to do anything.  - a medic comes to get your housemate and everyone follows, you're suddenly in a sea of people left alone with the Guy Who is Into You. He suggests you both finish watching Lana but your body is shivering.  - You run away to find somewhere to have your impending panic attack. Guy follows you, he’s grabbing your arm and telling you to breathe but you can’t. He eventually puts your face in his chest so that no one can see you and you heave and sob and cry. He tells you it’s gonna be okay.  - sit down to watch more Lana with Guy’s hands around your middle and tears still rolling down your face. He’s really nice about it. Hear from the others that your housemate is fine. You’re relieved. You wipe yourself up and meet up with the group again.  - go back to the house, get in the hot tub, and feel embarrassed for the rest of the night.  - get up and put on an all-blue outfit, eat a weird breakfast from the house spread because you can’t eat a lot of American food without getting sick. Drink a white claw and then double-fist beers on the way to the festival.  - In the car, Guy is gracious enough to pretend like you didn’t have a panic attack in front of him. He talks your ear off about drag race even though you explain you don’t like it. He’s still touchy, especially with your inner thigh and you don’t know what to do about it.  - Get to the festival drunk, get weed taken away at security checkpoint because you’re drunk and shoddily hid it. Be mad at yourself for half an hour for being foolish.  - take a group photo with everyone - ride the iconic Ferris wheel and then join everyone to see the artist Raye.  - get to the tent as she’s finishing a hype song, so talented. What a voice. She sounds like Amy Winehouse!! - Raye says that she’s going to bring the mood down to talk about something serious. She starts to talk about sexual assault, something that 3/4 of people experience, and then asks people to consider how many people have been affected by it.  - As she goes on talking about it, you can’t help but cry because you're one of them. You promised myself no more trauma on day 2 but whatever. Guy is behind you and has been grabbing you the whole performance. He says “Oh wow this song is going to make me cry.” - you have sunglasses on, so he can’t see just how much you're crying already but you simply answer, “I’m already there.” - the song is beautiful and Guy doesn’t touch you again after. You're glad he’s somewhat perceptive.  - You split off with best friend and friend since college - do drugs - watch Eric Prydz and Anyma do a dual DJ. Get inspired. Get excited. Feel hope that you can make music again.  - see more DJs you’ve never heard of. Lose yourself a bit as the drugs take over. Nothing better than a loud bass drum that rattles your insides.  - See Peggy Gou and she unfortunately does a boring set.  - Meet up with the house people, get drinks, and get food. Eat a Clif bar because you’re worried about shitting your pants in the middle of the desert. Guy tries to feed you a chicken strip, you take one small bite and pray it’s not a straw that will break the camel's back.  - see Grimes (your favorite) redeem herself with a sick fucking set. Hear 5 new unreleased tracks.  - watch Grimes play her own dance remix of Oblivion and run out from the DJ booth to perform it to the crowd. Feel moved. She wrote the song 12 years ago after a sexual assault experience and now she’s DJing a dance version and everyone is living for it. Inspiring.  - Your best friend splits up to go see a K-pop group on her own. You hang with the rest of the group and move over to see Justice. - Justice still has it. You feel simultaneously 17 and 32 at the same time.  - when No Doubt starts, Gwen Stefani yells to the crowd “THIS!! Is the LAST NIGHT of Coachella!!!!” You and the rest of the crowd laugh and she corrects herself. She continues to slay.  - Guy is behind you again and he’s on drugs. Crazier than drugs than the ones you’re on. He hovers his hand over your shoulder and asks permission to touch you. You’re endeared by the ask so you let him have it.   - have someone grab your hips, your sides,  neck and grind on you for the first time at a concert and basically in public. You’re not used to being attention nor being touched like this in public. You can feel his hard dick at your lower back.  - "This is the first time I've been hard all weekend," he says to you. You have no idea how the fuck to respond to that so you just shimmy your ass into it a bit and watch Gwen Stefani jump around the stage singing Ex-Girlfriend. Wicked track.  - After a lot of touching and grabbing, he‘s starting to kiss the top of your head. You think back to his asking permission and decide you should just experience whatever moment is supposedly happening. You kiss him and you make out for a lot of No Doubt.  - No Doubt ends and the other people in the house, Guy’s friends have absolutely clocked you but you do your best not to feel self-conscious. It’s hard.  - you and Guy split off. You don’t have much to talk about. Very different talking points, two different minds stumbling over each other to find common ground. You notice it more than he does.  - you make it to Dom Dolla’s set and it’s a fucking vibe. The bass courses through your body, which takes away some overthinking. You make out and dance with the guy without anyone you know around and feel free for the first time in months.  - Tove Lo comes out to do a couple of songs with Dom Dolla. She sings a dance version of Habits which inspires you deeply. She wrote the song ten years ago when she was working front desk at a Pilates studio and now she's killing it. Inspiring!  - They also did a new track of theirs together, it's drum and bass, which you swear is going to have a comeback this summer.  - You get home with sore feet and sore shoulders (where you carry your tension) and shower while everyone eats food and watches YouTube videos in the living room. When you come out, there's something drag-related on the screen which Guy is living for. He mansplains drag to you again and you let it happen.  - Everyone goes to sleep but you two. You start kissing in the dark and under a blanket and he grinds his body into yours. He puts his hand under your sweatpants and starts groping your ass, which makes you worried.  - He touches your half-hard dick and your whole body seizes. You stutter and try to explain but your body is doing enough of that for you. He seems to notice, he's perceptive of your body language, which is good at least, and doesn't touch you there again. You keep kissing until four in the morning and decide to call it. He was definitely hoping for something more, which makes you feel embarrassed.  - wake up and feel like you've been hit by a truck but it's still day 3.  - You wonder what Guy thinks about you. If he thinks you're weird now. You learn from your best friend in the hot tub before eating breakfast that everyone is talking about you. You become über conscious of the fact that you're inside someone else's friend group. You wonder if they know you're weird about your dick.  - Guy wants attention from you but you're nervous to do anything in front of everyone in the daylight. He leans in for a kiss, though, and you oblige. It's nice but you don't know what's going on.  - grab two beers and start drinking.  - You're sandwiched in between Guy and your best friend again. He's heard you might be moving back to LA and is asking a lot of questions but not listening much to your answers, which is fine, everyone is drunk. You're being weird though.  - Your best friend hands you some drugs, which you take.  - You get into the festival too early, everyone in the house wants to see a certain act but no one would admit to which you and your best friend find weird.  - You split off with your best friend, you don't get to see her as often as you like so you're grateful that you're both on drugs together here. You use this as a chance to hit all the experiential stuff. You explain your fear to your best friend and she tells you to stop thinking about it so much. She's a little annoyed and with good reason.  - When you head into one of the tents, the group is there. Guy comes up to you, already wanting another kiss. It's happening before you accept but you don't mind much. Everyone is watching your interaction though. He tells you to meet him on the right side of the stage for Renee Rapp and you say okay before you think because you're on drugs.  - By the time you get to Renee Rapp, the sun is out, it's one hundred degrees and the drugs are drugging. Guy sends a photo of where he is but you can't figure it out. You send a photo of where you are but don't move any closer. - You will realize later, from your best friend's point of view, that you were being a total fuckboy and informing Guy that you were close to him but not going to be with him. Kinda asshole vibes.  - You go into the food market and the drugs continue to hit harder. You eat something safe and slowly but surely everyone from the house makes it over.  - Guy comes over and vibes you for not showing up at Renee Rapp. You don't understand why he's so invested in you and you also feel bad. He asks where you're going next, informing you that he's going to Victoria Monet. You don't know how to answer so you give a nonanswer, which he doesn't seem to be happy with. You don't know how his happiness became your responsibility.  - He leaves with his friends and your best friend turns to you and says, "Sorry, but you have to go."  - "I do??" you answer and she nods. "He's lingering for too long," She says back because she has a better view of him (and of the situation in total)  - You chug the beer you got and run up to them. You follow Guy and his friends from a distance for five minutes, spending most of it inside your head, trying to psych yourself up. You wonder what's wrong with you for a moment. Why does someone being into you make you so confused and scared?  - You run up to him once you're close enough. "Hi," you say to which he spins around quickly. "I didn't know you wanted to come," he says.  - "I decided last minute," You answer, grateful you're wearing sunglasses so you have some semblance of a wall to hide behind. "I'm really high, by the way, so you know."  - "Loving this communication," he answers, it's a dig but you deserve it. "I like words of affirmation."  - You stay behind his group, nervousness threatening to spill over inside of you. You can't stop thinking about how you acted last night and then earlier today.  - You apologize for earlier but then continue. "I'm really weird and shy," you explain. "And I'm very conscious about the fact that we're around your friends."  - He nods and says that he gets it. He has one of those giant fans so he covers both of your faces and kisses you so that no one can see. It's kinda nice.  - The tent where Victoria Monet is performing soon is currently occupied by a dubstep act, playing some rumbling, crazy shit. The guy starts grinding on you, eventually feeling all over your body. You assume he's taken drugs already, too.  - "You're boiling hot," Guy says, which you're very aware of. "Probably cause you're covered in all this fur!" he says, running his hands on your chest hair and under your button down. The statement makes you cringe a little. You also have no idea how you're supposed to answer that so you don't say anything.  - When Victoria Monet starts, the group gets close. You've never heard a single one of her songs but you're down to see something new. You spent half of the performance wondering what the hell this Guy is thinking about. He's less interactive with you now, which is fine but you can't tell if he's mad at you for not knowing how to react to his advances.  - You shimmy a little together midway through the end and he seems happy with that, so you count it as a win. You feel too responsible for his experience - Victoria crushes her set, a total performer through and through. You're so so happy you get to see her even if you spent too much time in your head while it was happening.  - After the set, you and Guy break off from the group alone. You explain to him that you're not used to getting any sort of sexual attention and that you have no idea how to react when you get it. You say "I'm sorry" even though you know you shouldn't.  - He tells you not to apologize and then says that it's information that is very helpful to have and things make more sense to him. You explain that you're hard to get to know and he assures you that it's fine. He's an open book, though.  - The sun is starting to set now, you can see a full range of colors in the desert skyline. It's beautiful and gorgeous and you look over to Guy and he's got a perfect smile on his face. You kiss him and you feel something pull inside of you. You don't know what it is but it feels nice.  - You're supposed to meet up with a group to see Anyma's performance. But there's been a massive break of water between you two and the tent where it's happening. It looks like a body of water. Everyone is screaming and squelching and crowding. This will later be dubbed 'Poop River' because only god knows what's in that outbreak of mud. - You turn around and tell Guy that you should go to see Diplo and Mau P because it sounded sick on the way over. It's vibes, and you two chill. You can tell he's nervous to touch you again and you don't blame him. You feel uncomfortable in this in between, like you should be giving away more.  - You instead focus on the DJ set, which is incredible. Diplo, unfortunately, still fucking has it.  - You and Guy split up because you're meeting your best friend to go see Dylan Brady's set. You kiss goodbye and it feels weird. You wonder if you made everything go bad because you communicated your strangeness regarding sex.  - You meet your best friend and other two college friends and everyone's on drugs. You start crying because you're overwhelmed and they all ask you what happened. You explain everything that happened and they all start laughing.  - "How the hell did you find the time to talk so much?" One of your friends asks. Everyone, including you, laughs a bit.  - "Nick," they say, "You're upset that you communicated and that he's happy you did and you think you messed everything up?"  - "You're being crazy," your best friend says to you. Which you honestly needed to hear. "You just need to go with the flow."  - "Why does someone being into me give me so much anxiety?" you very earnestly ask your best friend, who is fucked up (as she said in her texts to you when you were trying to find her)  - "I literally don't know," she answers. You think about how you're going to be doing some googling after this weekend.  - Dylan Brady's set has an iconic energy but he messes up through the whole thing. He's drunk or on drugs or all of the above. It's day 3. You can't blame him.  - You go to the bathrooms, the one place with stalls, and the whole place is shaking from Dylan's set which makes you giggle.  - You're direct with Guy this time around, and let him know where to meet you after Dylan.  - You and Guy go see Atarashii Gakko with each other. They have so much energy, control, and decadence in their performance. It's something to remember.  - By the time you get to Doja Cat, your lower back is aching, in a way that you haven't felt yet. You're not used to being out and about for this long. You try to get another beer to rally, but it's 11 PM on the last day. There's no beer. You take an edible and try to just ride.  - Doja does a good job despite a lot of technical difficulties.  - You finish the night at John Summit. A cutie patootie who knows how to bring da party. Everyone is clearly exhausted but committed. You and Guy dance, a little more chaste than the night before because everyone is around this time.  - A female singer that I should be looking up closes out the night with a song of hers and John's. It's a beautiful end to the festival.  - On the trip back, you fall asleep on Guy's shoulder because you're still on East Coast time. He puts his hand on your knee and not inside your thigh this time. You wonder what he's thinking again but you're also too tired to wonder for too long.  - You get back to the house and his friends decide to show one of your friends what Gooner porn is. The experience of watching it with a bunch of people is actually insane. You all laugh and laugh and laugh.  - After everyone goes to sleep, you and Guy make out more. He says that he's sad Coachella is over and that you're not going to see each other after tonight. You don't understand what he likes so much about you. He barely knows anything about you!  - You feel guilt for not feeling exactly what he's feeling but it feels nice to be wanted. And he's not without his merits.  - You crawl into bed at 4 AM and wake up at 10 AM to pack up all of your outfits and party materials.  - On the car back to LA, you wonder what the fuck just happened. At least you're inspired.

@nicky999doors

May 2, 2024

Top Recs from @frutigerdisco

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wondering if i should just date someone

1. i think this idea is already embarassing 2. i dont have many people invite me to do things regularly so i guess i can have what i want 3. wait this is so embarrassing i feel

@frutigerdisco

Apr 21, 2024

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i want to indulge in an american theme park like an international influencer would …

as in having clear skin

@frutigerdisco

Apr 9, 2024

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genuinely dont want to meet any more male identifying men who want to be in entertainment

we get it you watched Tarantino one time and now you feel like filmmaking is the path for you but no you can’t since you have subjected yourself to an acceptable paying job. all jobs pay. i guess its just what you prefer … something all these men carry in common is that they feel that they have hidden something away in them that they will never get to express but i feel that takes away from my desire to express myself in filmmaking i dont think it matters that much but also like why… ive been reading tiny beautiful things realizing that the thing that has bothered me about male perception is that female work is perceived as not universal

@frutigerdisco

Apr 17, 2024