(long winded yap sesh incoming apologies)
i spent waaaay too long a time being spooked by the mere thought of being perceived, and so i tried to blend into whatever group i was meant to believe i should fit into. i honestly think my fashion sense now is a combination of, like, quasi-exposure therapy, bc when you're walking around like a birthday clown u kinda just have to get used to people looking at u, and all that built up frustration with trying to fit in finally being let out, aka me finally just wearing what makes me happy
and i think it's easy to tell bc most of my influences are the things that make me the most happy. obviously there's the color palettes that give very cartoon character, but also i love color coordination and matching sets that also feels in that same vein, also very kitschy
also i wear my real life fashion influences on my sleeve. missy elliott and andre 3000 have always meant a lot to me, but also janelle monae, raja, tierra whack, rihanna, zendaya, grace jones, cl (all of 2ne1 tbh), lady gaga, shea couleé, gwendoline christie, beyoncé, jonte' moaning, etc. and etc. even in my most lowkey outfits, the influences still kinda peek through
but i'm also very influenced by my queerness, and queer culture in general. i think one of the hardest things about having to "fit it" was that i always felt like i had to embody a very cis/heteronormative of what femininity is, and that's just not me (maybe i'm just talking out of my ass, but i feel like there's sort of an understanding that there are differences between queer femininity and cisheteronormative femininity. like if i dress feminine the way that i want to dress feminine, it's not the kind that like a straight guy would want/expect from me). i think it's also just a universal experience that, when u grow up queer, anything that feels like it could accidentally "out" u feels scary, and honestly it feels like i wanna make up for all that time being scared. like, be the person younger me needed back then, y'know? the parts of my life that have made me feel the most me are the queerest; drag, theatre, ballroom culture, dance in general, and that feels more true to who i am
so yeah, idk it's not really like trends for me it's just what makes me happy. tee el dee dubz big princess dress at the grocery store energy
Related Recs
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god i could really write a whole essay on this
for context, i’m studying pattern cutting and have been really into/very specific about my clothes forever but have known fashion since maybe 15-16
because of how i fit into the clothes-scape my tastes cannot be separated from trends whether i like it or not. how i dress is rather on trend lately tbh
over the years my pants have gotten bigger as i grow more accustomed to the comfort of having less fabric on your body + the dynamism of a wide leg in the somewhat constrained silhouettes of menswear. also inextricable from wider pants just becoming more a part of the collective consciousness and thus my consciousness
my tops have gotten smaller & tighter as i've grown more confident and comfortable with my body. still love a baggy vintage tee when it’s warm though
maybe best way is to talk my fav clothes and why they’re my fav clothes:
- plasticana clogs. super california shoe but also like a half clog half loafer. i love heeled shoes i think they’re more elegant and just more smooth so i’ve worn loafers mostly for the last 6 years. these are like if those felt like sneakers to me. so easy so comfy
- fadepants cords. super baggy, so fucking comfortable. really dynamic shape with a lot of personality. they just feel right
- slim gildan tees. they remind me of the artist guy in Blow-Up and the way that guy looks reminds me of the energy we all used to have in the wood/metalshops at parsons, functional dress
- hanes beaters. so new york summer. also i love how they fit me they flatter my build
- oakley sunglasses. indestructible. ridiculous shape in a way i can own. michael jordan wore them in the 90’s and i love basketball & his game
- bandanas. remind me of home. remind me of my gay ass new york friends. a lot of them were from home too but i met them all in new york. funny how life works. they suit my hair well when i don’t feel like wearing a hat or i haven’t got time for a shower, and it’s very windy in stratford a hat might blow off
- 90’s vintage snapbacks. they fit over my hair that’s really the only reason
- our legacy borrowed bd shirt. it reminds me of the shirts my friend katie wears and those shirts are aggressively northern california. so is this one. and it’s just cute
- supreme leather collar work jacket. has all of the pockets, and the roundness/diesel type fit that a new yorker’s jacket would have. and that makes me happy. form + function
i think right now my style is in a pretty solid place of amalgamating the things that make me me, between upbringing, interests, places i’ve lived + the things i’ve taken from them, queerness, and my growing understanding of how all the things i wear are made. feeling really good about it all. want to figure out how to wear 90’s retro basketball sneakers though because they’re something i’ve loved forever and im a huge basketball fan but they’ve just never felt right when i tried them, except foamposites. personal style is a neverending pursuit if you’re doing it right
May 14, 2024
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nostalgia is a huge factor in how i dress. my child self - love her!! - really is my main inspiration. i want to look in the mirror & know that my 8 year old self would be obsessed with my outfit. i was a kid in the 2000s and was obsessed with britney, paris & nicole, destiny's child, lizzie mcguire, mary-kate & ashley; i was also huge on dolls, mostly bratz (my #1 inspo), barbie and pullips. in the mid-late 2000s, i got into emo/scene culture then transitioned to the tumblr/indie sleaze vibe. naturally, as a kid, i couldn't dress like the adults i was admiring in these styles or a bratz doll, and i was also very insecure, looking through my little j-14 magazines or browsing myspace & wishing i looked like those girls. now that i'm an adult, those styles have remained ingrained in my brain, and i can finally wear them & feel good about it.
i also wore a school uniform growing up and while i did not enjoy doing that, i think wearing that every day wound up similarly ingrained in me - pleated skirts, cardigans, high socks etc. have all ended up sticking in my wardrobe rotation (and that combo is also kind of tumblr so idk if that has something to do with it). in short, my style has definitely become a modern amalgamation of everything i knew or loved growing up.
May 5, 2024
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comfort has been my main focus since i was a toddler & i’m trying to honor that intuition in adulthood. i want to feel comfortable in my own skin & wardrobe, which is a challenge as a bigger woman raised in purity culture & fashion as vanity. i’m still most comfortable in modest looks & don't see that changing. the quality & texture of fabric is important to me as well. i don’t like anything that tugs or clings in an irritating way.
i’m also pragmatic so i want functional clothing that will last & i'm trying to build my mending & maintenance skills. i love leather shoes & bags, they’re so warm & classic & durable. i love buying thrifted things that have some life in them already. i love having one-of-a-kind pieces that i can make my own.
i often feel stuck between wanting to express myself through style & wanting to be as nondescript as possible. i like the validation of a good fit but also hate making an entrance. sometimes i’ll put together a look i love & then i’ll swap out one of the elements to ruin it cuz i feel too intimidated. i don’t know if this is because of social anxiety or body image issues or my feelings of not belonging throughout childhood. maybe this is my way of avoiding distraction so i can be present with the people around me.
aesthetics-wise, i love dressing like a fun auntie sometimes (typically in spring/summer) & other times i want to lean more masc with edgy streetwear looks (fall/winter). unique prints are a must, rich earth & jewel tones, classic & sturdy footwear, handcrafted jewelry with a story behind it. idk how to weave together these competing energies of warmth & playfulness, stifled rebellion & hesitant individuality. still trying to identify what i like & give myself space to explore & express that!
May 9, 2024
Top Recs from @el_ugh
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or junk journaling, if you'd like to not perpetuate myths about crows liking to collect trinkets. i just think it sounds cuter
weirdly, as someone who's a writer, i've never really been good at or liked journaling. every planner i've ever owned has remained empty. if i try to write something any time other than when the fancy strikes me, it just feels inauthentic, like i'm trying too hard. this has been the first time journaling actually felt like it had a purpose for me, and actually felt weirdly therapeutic
basically, it's just anything i can recycle, i make into a page. i like a common theme, so places i've visited, media i like, similar aesthetics, emotions i'm feeling. and then we get the qr code page & i'm reminded that this is probably the quintessential depiction of what scoring 121 on the RAADS-R looks like
eh, i'm having fun🤷♀️
Apr 16, 2024
"ꀤ ꌃꍟ꒒ꀤꍟꃴꍟ ꀤꈤ ꍏ ꀎꈤꀤꃴꍟꋪꌗꍟ ꓄ꃅꍏ꓄ ꀸꂦꍟꌗꈤ'꓄ ꉓꍏꋪꍟ ꍏꈤꀸ ꉣꍟꂦꉣ꒒ꍟ ꅏꃅꂦ ꀸꂦ"
mae borowski returns to her hometown of possum springs, and with her return comes some long-time-coming reunions and unsolved mysteries
this game broke me
played it the week it came out back in 2017, and in hit me in that way some media does where it comes at a point in your life where it feels all too specific to your circumstances and it opens wounds you didn't even know went that deep. this shit felt like the therapy session you needed but reeeeally didn't want to go to. healing and hurtful, all at once
also just happens to be extremely funny. it's a very specific kind of humor, where even in the rare moments it doesn't land, it still lands because the circumstances around it make it all the funnier. something as simple as a too-long pause in the dialogue will have me in stitches
deserves all the love in the world, and it will forever have my whole heart. WITCHDAGGAH
Apr 19, 2024
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in agreement with mouse nitw soup rema see
also agree with them that definitely limbo or inside will scratch the little nightmares itch, arguably playdead's games are a big inspiration for little nightmares.
depending on what you're into (more story or more gameplay heavy) for story. i cannot recommend "what remains of edith finch" enough. just a true gem and some of the best of interactive storytelling
for gameplay i love the witness, hi fi rush, and neon white. all very different, but maybe you'll find something you'll like
for a mix if both, disco elysium. dialogue HEAVY, but based in like ttrpg systems, it's really fun. REALLY long though, like maybe put aside some time to crack that one open lol
Apr 19, 2024