I love my partner, and doing monogamy has made me learn a lot of things about myself, and I love being able to share so much with him, but I‘ve been missing what it felt like to have multiple people I was infatuated with. I feel like I am a lover boy deep beneath it all, and being able to be a lover boy with everyone without worrying about crossing my partners boundaries was a very free feeling. Now, when I harmlessly flirt, I get an immense amount of guilt overthinking if I took it too far.
Finding lovers throughout your life is what makes life worth living. Being romantically involved with someone has a way of changing everything about your life in so many lovely ways. Little gifts, little kisses. Wine drunk, and giggling. Best friends become lovers become friends again.