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spent the middle of the day watching “Amy”, it stirred something in me. she would’ve loved the come back of low rise. i cried sitting with the thought that all consuming love, the one that eats you from the inside out, exist. i miss joan didion and her ability to articulate emotions, grabbing you by the shoulders, looking you in the eye and breathing her truth to life. i’ve been romanticizing berlin. what my heart and eyes will see.
May 11, 2024
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Listen, I've watched Little Women about ten times but FOR SOME REASON, only a couple days ago when watching it with a best friend did we both start crying.
We had both watched the movie many times before, but i guess this specific time in our life where this movie found us hit different. She's in her first year in college and I'm in my gap. The overwhelming feeling of loneliness that can take over when entering a new phase in your life is UNMATCHED, and jo's monologue just hit.
Watching the movie, there are these very evident hard cuts between the warmth of childhood and coldness of the present, BUT when you actually think about it, can you recall the moment in the movie it BECOMES the present, and the color shifts? Probably not, because time is subtle. You don't wake up and suddenly realize you're a grown up who must make your own way in the world. Its more of a retrospective. Jo herself probably didn't realize her childhood was as warm and beautiful as it was.... until it was gone.
Anyways we cried and laughed about why we were crying, but I haven't been able to think about it since. I don't know where I am in the color palette sunset of warm to cold, but I will know once I've long passed it.
Jan 22, 2025
I cried like a baby the other day, and honestly I'm glad I did.
In my core class I was doing some research on my EE topic, mainly focusing on Marina Abramović since I'm obsessed with her work so obviously my essay is revolved around her.
Anyways,
Amidst my research I took in time to view a fuller extent of The Artist is Present'. I knew it was an all day things, how people lined up to view it and even how celebrities such as Alan Rickman and Bjork sat with Abramović. The main thing about this was to have a conversation without words and instead utilize eyes, expressions, and sighs.
I know there are photos and videos of people crying and such when meeting Abramović, but she wouldn't have any extreme reactions other then smiling or sometimes shedding a single tear. Moreover, she would not move her arms nor extend them to the person sitting across from her.
Ulay was a German performance artist who had a relationship with Abramović with twelve years and after mutually agreeing to separating, they decided to meet each other at the great wall of China. The two started at opposite ends and met at the middle which took three months, they hugged, and this act was called 'Lovers'.
I love artist lore especially when it's about two people who have history together in the same profession.
Anywho so one day while Abramović is seated with eyes shut, a guy takes a seat on front of her and when they lock eyes the two immediately becone teary eyed.
Because it's Ulay and their first time seeing each other in years.
They cry, laugh, smile, and for the first time extends her arms to hold Ulay's hands, to which he takes.
So yeah, seeing it made me bawl and it's overall such a powerful clip. I think everyone should watch it.
I think too that it encapsulates that despite growing far from a previous loved one, the emotions are still kept in tact waiting for a chance to sprout again.
Feb 20, 2025
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The novel, the film, the Netflix series absolutely destroyed me. It made me hold on to everyone I love a little bit tighter. It motivated me to say the things I’ve wanted to say before it’s too late.
Dec 28, 2024
Top Recs from @loandbehold
analysis me please, baby! am i going to find love next year or should i roll my eyes and try again at 30???? i need answers
Dec 6, 2024
Are you kidding me with this one, sis!??? I want to be on my european summer trot, in a sweaty, steamy club feeling like the moment because i am the moment!
May 11, 2024
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“Now I have to remember you for longer than I knew you”
“how do you process grief?” “by running from it until it finds me in the middle of a sunny street on a beautiful day.”
two headed calf poem
“i was a child my spine wasn’t developed enough to be your pillar”
“As a woman I have so much empathy for my mother, but as a daughter, I have so much anger..”
May 14, 2024