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rather than directly into their eyes. Learned this and so many other things from my amazing middle school speech teacher/speech club sponsor shoutout to Mrs. Grant šŸ„ŗā¤šŸ«¶
May 15, 2024

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Since I was a kid, Iā€™ve never been able to consistently look at ppl in the eye during conversations. You know when you say a word too many times that it starts losing its meaning and you donā€™t even know what youā€™re saying anymore? (re: semantic satiation) The same thing happens to me with eye contact. If I stare at someone for too long, I start losing sense of their face because Iā€™ve been too hyper focused on looking into their eyes. And if I get too caught up in maintaining eye contact, I risk potentially losing track of what the person was even saying to begin with; which generally just comes off as me being rude/inconsiderate of the other person in the convo. Iā€™ve definitely gotten better at maintaining better eye contact as Iā€™ve gotten older, but itā€™s still a struggle. I generally have to do a little dance with my own eyes and alternate between looking at different parts of a personā€™s face (or occasionally look elsewhere/fidget with something for a couple of seconds between stares) so that Iā€™m still ā€œlookingā€ at them most of the time without appearing like Iā€™m uninterested or risk losing focus on what theyā€™re saying.
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as an indication of connection and projection of confidence [note to self]
Jan 24, 2024
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why does everyone avoid eye contact? in my opinion, eyes are the doors to the soul. i genuinely love looking people in the eye when iā€™m speaking to them, i think it makes the conversation more intresting and it makes me feel like they are paying attention when i'm talking. iā€™ve also noticed that this is a habit people with great social skills adhere, and i really admire that. approximately most people iā€™ve met usually try to abstain from eye contact, and unfortunately it makes them look insecure and uncertain in themselves. thank you for listening to my yapšŸ™šŸ’˜ Ł…Ų¹ Ų§Ł„Ų³Ł„Ų§Ł…Ł‡
Aug 15, 2024

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ā€œLife shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.ā€ ā€” AnaĆÆs Nin This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that Iā€™ve safely landed at the start of my new life. Itā€™s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think itā€™s important to share. Iā€™ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, weā€™d have been together for 11 years, and weā€™ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with peopleā€”to rediscover my voice. I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. Heā€™s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. Iā€™ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see. Iā€™ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitelyā€”but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial andĀ  logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and itā€™s going to be tough for a while but Iā€™m going to be better than okay! Now Iā€™m opening up to you. This isnā€™t the only abuse Iā€™ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible. I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolationā€”and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom. Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me šŸ’Œ
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My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebodyā€”be it a relative or one of my best friendsā€”was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too šŸ’Œ
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