Related Recs

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Repair repair repair

This is what came to mind first: When you get into conflict with your partner, it is okay to step away to regulate yourself, collect your thoughts, etc. It is not okay to leave the conversation entirely and then never circle back to it to finish. In previous relationships of mine, it felt like we always were in ongoing conflict. We never actually came to a close of any one conflict, it was just that one or both of us was too tired so we left it and just moved on. I had a therapist that really drilled into me that arguably one of the most important parts of conflict is the coming together afterwards. Even if you have to get to a space of agree to disagree, making an effort to reconnect in your love for another actually closes the argument and maintains the relationship. This can also help with the piling on of past conflicts that can happen. “ well, you also did this and you always do this.!” if you actually had closed that conflict previously, you wouldn’t need to bring it up to get validation for it. That was another rule that I was taught: when you bring something up, be specific and stay in the present moment. That doesn’t mean you can’t bring up a pattern, but you have to be able to tie that back to a specific action of some kind. Even if you allude to it being a pattern, bring it back to talking about the specific example that you brought up. It just makes things a lot easier, and also helps from making any assaults on somebody’s character.

@mossyelfie

Jan 17, 2025

2

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list

- be a good communicator. if you have a problem or are unclear on something or need to make something clear one cannot expect anyone to have the same norms. talk and be on the same page and establish that dynamic for the inevitable times it needs to happen - figure out respective grocery + dishes + cookware + general belongings ecosystem. some houses can just be communal some have to be separate. depends on who yall are. gotta know which and gotta respect it - just clean everything you were using in a public space if you don’t intend to keep using it i feel like when i had roommates our biggest issues were not figuring these things out. but just talking about everything is the biggest one that way if someone is disappointed or angry about something it’s either based in reality or it’s not

@shegoestoanotherschool

May 22, 2024

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using your words to resolve conflicts so things don’t brew for no reason

i wish people were better at this. big sign of emotional maturity i think is when people are actually capable of this. things happen and if you can’t talk them through what are you meant to do? just let it stew so it gets worse? let it destroy a relationship for no reason? fuck all that. have the conversations so you can reach an understanding. we can’t read eachothers minds man

@shegoestoanotherschool

Jun 10, 2024

Top Recs from @diti

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Being a snob about certain things

it’s called being discerning and it’s a dying art….

@diti

Jan 30, 2024

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Forget-me-nots and bleeding hearts

for the real lovers out there. Grew in my backyard growing up

@diti

Feb 20, 2024

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Scrolling through your own posts

so true and so right… see also looking through your notes app, going through your camera roll, and re reading your own diary.

@diti

Mar 10, 2024