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I can be nice to myself, sure. I can’t be obsessed with myself, or at least, it’s very affirming to have someone who sees you just as deeply as you see yourself and turn out to be obsessed with the result of the whole of you, including the parts that you can’t perceive on your own.
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Sometimes I get caught up chasing ideals of love. Growing up with immigrant parents in the US, I wished my parents showed me love the way my friends' parents did. My parents seemed cold in comparison to the affection I saw my friends receiving. I fell for best friends who did love me but never enough and never in the ways I wanted them to.
Nowadays I have grown to appreciate the ways in which my parents do show me love -- when they ask if I've eaten or when I dye my mom's hair as she peels me oranges. Friendship to me no longer needs to be tied up in such rigid binaries. It's not the label of a relationship I'm after but rather just the intimacy of knowing other people. I try not to focus so much on how I wish to be loved by other people and instead pay attention to all the different ways I am loved. Acting with a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And in that way, everything feels enough.
Disclaimer: Establishing boundaries is paramount. Love that is corrosive or manipulative is not love.
Feb 1, 2024
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On one hand: it just flows. You can't get enough of them. Your eyes, their eyes—could be the only thing that matters in the whole world. Their voice hits you like electricity. When alone, you wonder why you aren't with them. Mundane things, at their side, become adventures. You occupy your own universe that is a secret from all others.
And on the other hand: it is a labor. Your beloved, who stirs and ignites your affection so much, is also the one who most exposes your pride and weaknesses. As you dive into them and truly know them, you discover they are broken and selfish and human. And they discover that about you. The easy slide down the snowy hill of excitement becomes a long drag back up the other side.
But then the two of you put those parts together: combine the thrill and the sparkle with the messiness and the suffering. Your together love becomes something deeper and more enduring. You say: I see you fully but I choose you still, with all my heart and soul.
It becomes something that will withstand any storms that may come, something more mature and tested:
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." —Antoine de Saint-Exupery:
Mar 1, 2025
Top Recs from @soho
It feels good to know you’re putting in the proper care to keep your things nice for as long as possible.
May 24, 2024
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In response to riotgrrrl and mouse dollz recs. There are a few active sites trying to revive the dollz community! Even a Discord where people are sharing resources and creating dollz for each other:
https://discord.gg/33adCApqrm
Please join for anyone reading this who misses dollz! 🧸
My friends’ sites 🩷
https://dolliepalace.com
https://dreamcloudz.net
Apr 30, 2024
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It actually regulates your body temperature and I promise nothing is going to “get you”!
Apr 28, 2024