I celebrated my 21st in January
There’s a bar near my university that has “wine Wednesday“ which is $5 for a really heinous bottle of wine. Most ppl go regularly already bc there’s pool, cheap drinks, and it’s within walking distance of campus. Vibes are less than great but that’s beside the point lol. My 21st fell on a Wednesday, and all I knew is that I did not want to get my expectations up. That would only lead to birthday blues. So I figured I would just invite my inner circle to come celebrate with me at wine Wednesday. Which turned into me inviting anyone i thought was cool/ wanted to be friends w. My close friends also brought their respective friend groups.
I got dressed up cute, got to the bar at 10, and throughout the night got to say hi to ppl as they came and went. it took all the pressure off of me to entertain or make sure ppl were getting along. bc everyone had their own peeps to talk to and different activities to entertain themselves w. The bartender gave me free shots and the DJ let me play whatever I wanted. It was a great time and way more ppl than I thought came through.
i corralled my close ppl for a group pic and after that everyone had their own fun time
Allowing me to Irish exit to partake in some more illicit stuff and I ended my night drunk beyond belief tagging in a train yard w one of my friends
I will be celebrating in this style going forward, it was great, and now there are at least a dozen train cars that say “happy 21st birthday Sophia” w my or my friends tag :D
ALSO IF NO ONE YAKS ON UR 21st U DIDNT DO IT RIGHT
Jun 7, 2024
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maybe it’s the joy on my face or maybe it’s the fact that i know exactly what happened for this picture to occur, but, man, i love it.
nothing like being 21, drunk, and sweaty staring at all of your friends from your apartment’s alley and getting a half-eaten slice of homemade cake shoved in your hands. i had called my friend who left the party bc he got too high and was scared of all the people hahaha. he never did end up coming back.
this is still a night i’m very grateful for and i’m happy to have this moment captured.
thank you, stringbean501
Apr 9, 2024
celebrated my bday this weekend as a sober (from alc) girl who loves creating and connecting. this was the best birthday (and one of the best days) I’ve ever had ♥️
highlights:
•a homemade disco ball piñata and watching everyone go CRAZZYY on it
•portrait drawing station (30 second eye contact then draw!!)
•surprise vegan oreo cheesecake
•fresh fruit platter (really hit)
•temp tat station
•strawberry and blackberry thumbprint cookies
•lots of joints
•beautiful curated playlist (thx my beaut gf betsyhehe)
•feeling so so loved
•seeing my friends that don’t often create make art and enjoy it!! no judgement or expectations
• ending the night dancing to local dj spinning vinyl
Mar 11, 2024
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happy birthday to me! it’s a little hard to believe that i’m 21 now—even though i’ve technically been an adult for three years now, it seems that the reality is only setting in now, and i can feel that clear divide between teenaged-me and newly adult-me. not quite sure what to make of that. birthdays are always bittersweet, and the last two particularly were filled with melancholy—but i can check this one off as a success since i didn’t even cry! i went to the movie theaters and saw nosferatu (and also bought a theater membership because one of my goals for the new year is to go to the movies as much as possible). i had the best matcha latte of my life. i went home, cut the cake (the most delicious triple chocolate cake, by the way), then watched gladiator ii with my family. nothing flashy by any means, but if there’s one thing this year has taught me, is that it’s the simplest things that bring you comfort. i hope 21 is kinder to me. i’m trying my best to keep my hopes low (since it seems the universe is always conspiring against me), so all i can do is wait and see what it brings me. cheers 🥂
Dec 31, 2024
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To start—> I don’t want this to come off as trauma dumpy, I am v happy with the person Ive grown into. Who I wouldn’t be if I didn’t have these experiences:)
I’ve moved around so so so much especially as a kid. I used to feel v guilty bc there were a lot of friends I left behind bc of circumstances beyond my control. This pattern became a trend that continued throughout my life. Went to 4 high schools; was going thru a lot, and was referred to as a ghost.
Having someone you didn’t even realize knew who u were say “omg! It’s been a year! We thought you’d died, wow, how are you? Yk a lot of people tried to reach out…etc” completely changed my perspective on the world. I didn’t even realize the possibility I was really noticed outside of my immediate friend group.
Another case happened this year at university. I was chatting w someone from a class, their friends walk up to say hi, and one says “your name is Sophia right?” I said yes and assumed I’d just met her while drunk at a show. So I apologized, and asked her name/ where she was from and all that jazz. It got more awkward when she said we went to the same school growing up, same class and everything. I didn’t recognize her at all, but obviously she knew me, it was so bizarre. Continued to see her around campus nearly every day for the rest of the year Lolz.
It didnt all actualize for me until recently, and still makes my head spin. I can’t imagine how many people I unintentionally became a ghost to :// being perceived is crazyyyy
May 24, 2024
In this regard, to what I like to call a funk.
I feel très dookie. Lots of change in my life, and in times of instability I tend to fall off the horse- in a major way. Like many ppl. This past go round I have been excessively hard on myself over my general lacking in… well almost everything. Ive come to the conclusion that there are times you have to give yourself more grace than you’d like to. Maybe the pity party can last a couple more days than usual. I won’t go into details, bc as those of you reading who have dealt with mental health struggles, it can be sort of gross. Sure. There’s a ton I could be doing to put an end to my funk. Make more of an effort to dig myself out of the hole. But, at the end of the day I know I will come out of the funk in my own time. Faking myself out, and convincing myself I’m feeling better serves no one.
Making yourself feel worse over feeling bad in the first place is just wildly counterproductive. Just keep moving forward in time. There’s a lot of it <3
Jun 2, 2024
May 29, 2024