š
I put my two weeks notice in last Wednesday. In four business days, I will be completely, comprehensively unemployed. Iām going to be a bartender next. You might see me around. I look like if a five year old Bob Dylan got HGH injected into his brain stem to make him much bigger than the other five year olds. Iāll pour you a drink. One mooooree cup of coffee āfore ya goooooo.
My obese boss got laid off last month. My only regret is not being able to invent a shrink ray in time. A shrink ray to shrink him down & ash out a cigarette on his fat little belly & put a burn on him. Seared pork belly.
After he got laid off, the top brass at the company got wise to the fact that I hadnt sold a single bottle of alcohol in the entire year Iāve been working at this alcohol sales job. My boss was extremely incompetent & lazy, more than I could have ever dreamed of being. Thatās how I got away with it.
They didnāt confront me, they didnāt even write me upā they simply asked me to be more on the ball. They wanted me to start working. š¤®š¤¢š¤¢š¤®. I quit within the week. Iāve had some good moments last couple of weeks. I fell asleep while sitting front row during a presentation at a regional conference. I couldnāt help it. It wasnāt even that I was tired. It wasnāt that the speaker was boring (though he was). It was his self satisfaction. The guy talking was upper middle management at an extremely prestigious household name whiskey company. But he talked & dressed like a puffed up substitute teacher. Checkered oxford shirt, skinny chinos, a watch that said āmy wife & I have been in a sexless marriage for 6 years. Not that I care. I have PIED chronic death grip syndrome. Iām addicted to JOI femdom findom from Finlandā . But he was talking as if he was better than me, as if I should aspire to be like him. This, I think, is what offended me so deeply. I did hate his style too thoughā Iām no marianoleonczik , but even I can tell when a guy is a total fucking loser based off what heās wearing.
So I nodded off. I allowed top eyelid to kiss bottom eyelid one too many times & I awoke to him standing in front of me. āHey, buddyā you gotta wake up. You canāt be asleep like that.ā I was so stunned I didnāt know what to do but laugh. I tried to cover it up with a cough, but it wasnāt any use I donāt think. Everyone at the company saw me doze off and wake up giggling & coughing in this guys face. Like I was one of the drunks whose lives we ruin for money about to get kicked out of the bar.
Thatās my happiest memory of actually being at work on this job.
Jun 7, 2024
Related Recs
š
I didnāt want to give a negative example but this story came to mind first.
Let me preface by stating that I live in a āright to work stateā, so both parties are not required to explain shit if they decide the employment relationship should be terminatedā¦
After yet another crummy team meeting where management blatantly bullied my coworker (my favorite coworker, might I add) in front of the entire 30 person department, I went back to my desk and started crying lolz.
At that point, I stepped outside thinking I just needed a break to cool off. By the time I was done wiping my tears, I immediately went back inside and began packing up my desk.
The managers were in another meeting so they didnāt notice my departure until I was already halfway home. Panicked calls came through to my phone and I ignored them as I blasted The Front Bottoms. Voicemails came through. Delete.
They fucked around and found out that day. And I realized that the feeling of being stuck was an absolute illusion that kept me trapped in a panicked tunnel vision where freedom waited patiently in the periphery.
I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, within reason.
Hehe
Sep 26, 2024
I was not doing great mentally and it took me 5 2 week notices printed, 2 being turned in. And now I finally quit without even giving my two weeks. Though it seems a bit unprofessional for me to do, I genuinely just had enough of this place. I love all my coworkers, they were all nice to me but if this job is hindering me from my success, I fear it is not worth it. My boss is still hoping for my return and said I can take a mental break, but I canāt take another shift with nothing but stress. My favorite coworker also quit so I left on his last day of working since we also kinda told each other weāll quit together. Haha life is so awesome.
Feb 23, 2025
š
When I was 19-20 I worked on Haight Street at a retro revival/rockabilly dress shop. The company had expanded too fast and blew all their money, so my store was closing and what was usually very expensive clothing was on super sale.
One day I arrived to work and everyone called out except me. My manager told me to run the (large) store all by myself. At some point the landlord for the building showed up to tell me the company hadn't paid rent in months. The store was so busy due to the sale that I couldn't take a break for hours due to the constant stream of people. The landlord decided she wanted to be "helpful" and was taking customers to the stock room to find clothes that weren't on the floor. It was chaos.
When finally there was a moment of the store being empty I locked the door, had a panic attack, and angrily scribbled the "closed early because overworked and underpaid" sign and left.
I was fired haha.
Apr 20, 2024
Top Recs from @steelyfan1998
ā
sometimes you just need to read some real shit straight from the realest person you know .
Feb 24, 2025
š
This is a confession post, not a recommendation, not even much of an anti-recommendation. Tbh it reads like a humilation ritual. Honestly just keep scrolling; it's not worth reading. I'm just posting it because I think I had a point when I first started writing this, one which I lost pretty wuickly. But I spent a good couple of minutes typing this all out, so I'll post it anyway. Thank God I'm anon. If you do read it, please forgive me.
My friend Tyler brought a joint to the super bowl party last night. He handed it to me & told me about how it had weed diamonds in it while I smoked, he told me that it was some good shit and that I wouldn't have to smoke so much of it since I've got such a low tolerance & all, but I could also smoke as much as I liked, seeing as he had a bunch more & that it was the super bowl & we had a bunch of wings on the way anyway, so might as well smoke some more weed so you know what? yeah, i smoked some more weed since what's the harm anyway it's just weed after all.
I've been a mess all day. I've been slow & stupid & disgustingly horny since I woke up this morning; but really honestly since I smoked the weed. If you're one of those types that "actually becomes more functional when you're smoking weed" & that I should "just let people enjoy things" I don't know what to say to you. I'm going to be weird for 4 weeks now and it's all my fault. This happens every time.
Even when it doesn't turn me into a non-verbal paranoiac nutcase, even when it's enjoyable to me in that moment-- I become something lower than a beast. I stand over the platter of chicken wings & gorge until I am sick and then I gorge even more. My stomach becomes distended & my face and fingers are covered in thai curry buffalo chicken fat goo. I waddle around & fart & I find this very funny. I confuse the sound of my own voice with that of my younger sisters & this is incredibly disqueting to me. Do I really sound like that? I become a big confused overgrown fat baby.
I'm going to be be weird for four weeks now. Slow. I was supposed to meet up with my friends to watch Luka's debut for the Lakers. I'm stitting at my desk typing this up; procrastinating going to the gym (which I can NOT neglect [especially after my evening of spiritual obesity]) & the game starts in 5 minutes. Stupid. Typing out this confession right now is painfully difficult. Every word that I type has the appearance of a whitehead that can't be popped to me. This textbox full of blemishes so infuriatingly, stubbornly, immutably DISGUSTING. I feel sick just reading back what I'm writing here. Once again, if you've made it this far, forgive me. This is a confession, not a recommendation. Disgustingly horny. This one I won't elaborate on. Forgive me.
It's not because I smoked weed. The smoking of the weed was just the first movement in a sequence that had already begun before I'd even accepted the joint from Tyler. My own spiritual weakness is the mantle upon which all of these failings hang. I'm not this way because I smoked weed, I'm this way because I'm the type of guy that smokes weed even though I know what it will do to me. There are 999,999,999 other weeds in my life that I am all too willing to permit myself. I haven't eaten anything but bread & butter all day. The lakers game is starting soon. Off to the gym I go.
Feb 11, 2025
šŖ±
Mar 4, 2025