Rec | I'LL BE 21 FOR ALMOST 40 MORE DAYS

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and this has been the most difficult year of my life 2 date. but hey. i am stronger for it. i'm lucky to have found who i can count on and i'm learning to do what makes my soul happy. after school in may 2023 i moved back home to NYC and while parts of that felt like a homecoming i also felt spit out into the World directionless and freaked. but i've been finding my sea legs and keep reminding myself this is the widest breadth of life i've ever lived. young adulthood is wack which simply builds character. 21 taught me that EVERY PAINFUL EXPERIENCE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO DIG INWARD. as i approach the end of this year, i can say i truly know myself. happy almost (?) birthday <3

@natashaa

Jun 11, 2024

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Thought i was getting somewhere, but had so little of what i know now

I turned 21 in february 2020, so, ya know. My world changed quick. But truly I just remember trying various things, trying to define and undefine myself. Feeling what it felt like to stick to my guns, then readjust them. I was in the middle of what would be a 2.5 year relationship. I didn't kid myself with picturing a big future anymore than what was sweet, which was wonderful. I was living with a partner for the first time and felt like I knew what to do, like I was experienced enough for all the problems which faced me. but really I was just experienced enough to start so many things. I was constantly bouncing between total pride and complete faliure. Playing house in a house I was actually renting with friends. Experimenting with what grocery shopping for myself meant to my life, redifining how I was going to live my days in the future. The best thing I did in my 21st year of life was not be too mean to myself for not committing, and just committing to new things. I would go dance in the park, go on walks, edit music. All things I wish I did on the regular but regardless, by trying new things, it made it so much easier to pick them up, because I had a frame of reference for the world. I loved being 20, as depressed as I was. That specific creativity is gone. But now I am 25 and know how to weild my own magic. The depth I have always felt within my soul has farther definition. Its like I put on glasses in a 7th dimention. Don't underestimate the beautiful growth ahead. Yes you are an adult, equipped hopefully to start so many new things. But keep up that internal work, and the years will be bountiful towards true inner peace. And soo many more new tools to better learn how to tackle issues while still feeling like yourself. u got this. stay true to urself but be flexibl with redifining who that is. x

@chai

Jun 12, 2024

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some highest highs, many lowest lows, lots and lots of growth

to preface, i actually know a lot of people who had an amazing time being 21! i think most of the lows were due to poor decision-making and bad luck in my love life which can happen at any age 🙈 at the same time i still hosted and attended a lot of cool events and parties; i tried new things and made some amazing friends; i lived on my own for the first time that summer and had a few cool academic accomplishments! so despite the trauma and heartbreak lol, i learned SO so much about myself and the world which i am grateful for. ❤️‍🩹 also, what i do think is a common experience for many 21 year olds is having a lot of growth through that year, which is never a bad thing!

@marxinista

Jun 11, 2024

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21 is hard and horrible and fun and great and it all counts

I began my 21st year with my head in the toilet of a man I was seeing. He held my hair back as I repeatedly wailed “why don’t you want to be with meeeee”. Barely anyone had turned up to my party earlier. That year had many such sad moments like this, but it also transitioned into one of the most fun times of my life. I had a really bad depressive episode, but it was the first time I’d felt really heard by my family went home for an bit to be looked after, I also had a best friend at uni, Alice who looked after me so well and we’re still friends today. Eventually I graduated uni and I moved in with one of my best friends, Rohan. We worked at a bar together and the people at that bar became my family for a while, I stayed in Sheffield my uni town for 5 more years because of that bar. we still meet up a couple times a year for a reunion. I had purple hair and I was drunk a lot, I cried a lot, I had so much anxiety, I wrote essentially nothing but I read more than I had in the 3 years of uni prior to it. I had so much fun working at that bar, I met so many people and danced so much. slept with far too many musicians which was often traumatic but means I have some great stories and I learnt a lot about myself. 21 is really hard, but it’s also really fun, and it all counts and it all means something. I look back at 21 year old me with so much love and compassion, one day you will feel the same about yourself and you’ll be so proud of that person.