It’s a blessing when big changes come all at once. The absence of the relationship won’t be a hole in the life you had because you’re going to have a new one! Let yourself get caught up in all the adjusting you’ll be doing—moving, new friends, job search, gigs. Process, live the pain, etc. but in moderation… It’s harder to move on and look forward to change when intense loneliness/inactivity feels like a sign that things would be so much better if you were just together again. Enjoy, build up a network of care. Lean on your friends and family A LOT. Prioritize seeing the people who love you. Get on a plane or a bus or whatever you have to do, it is essential to get quality time with the beloveds during this period of loss and transition. Speaking from experience lol xoxoxo good luck <3
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i did the same thing right out of college and basically accepted it was going to be a very difficult period of mourning/grief, living at my parent’s house, and many question marks. accepting it will be painful is helpful- it reminds you it is temporary. freedom is actually thrilling when you realize the whole world is open to you. the opportunity to rediscover yourself happens many times in life often after huge change or loss… i have never learned more about myself or grown more than in those periods. grief / transition / uncertainty …. there is much alchemy in these moments. find simple pleasures like .. your favorite playlist of the moment, feeding yourself a good snack, reading articles or books, comfort movies. and then maybe onto bigger, more exciting things like meeting new people, trying out new hobbies, exploring different scenes and industries. trial and error baby! you will look back on this period someday and laugh because life is so long but it all seems so hard at the time. this is just a moment:) godspeed
Jun 18, 2024
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transitionary periods are never easy, and i’m sorry you’re having to let go of so many things you’ve come to find comfort in, but not having an immediate sense of what to do next is not necessarily a bad thing. I had a similar phase of moving home after college, and it sucked for plenty of reasons, but it also gave me time and space to settle for a moment and reassess what my path was.
for a lot of people, it’s very easy to follow whatever momentum (career-wise or personal life-wise) they’ve been riding during undergrad and follow that to the next immediate opportunity, and a lot of people find contentment that way! but having an interruption to this sequence provides you with a unique opportunity to interrogate some assumptions you may have had about your future. is this career field really where you see yourself? is this city where you picture yourself settling? are you following the expectations imposed on you by others or are you following your own motivations and values? use this brief intermission to mourn what you are losing, but also to consider what you might build for yourself when freed from the necessity of following whatever path you have been on.
if you don’t like the situation you’re returning to, what would be a totally new scenario that would be better for you? envision that, and if the idea is compelling enough, pursue it. until you develop that vision, you may have to do some things to occupy yourself in the meantime that you may not find a lot of fulfillment in. maybe you find a part time job somewhere. whatever it is, if you come to dislike it all you’re doing is tuning your compass. use that to inform what you might prefer to do. but stay occupied! trying and making mistakes and learning is better than being idle.
during this process - and it will be a process, be patient with yourself - find ways to surround yourself with supportive community. maybe that’s your family, maybe it’s friends you’ve maintained in the place you’re returning to, maybe you seek out new community in hobbies you have, or you have cultural or religious communities you’re a part of, or you find friends in the workplace or a third social place. at the very least, they will provide you an escape from the stress of this period, but you could also develop relationships with people who can work though this life phase alongside you. what’s important, though, is that you create reasons to get out and interact with the world. you’re going to be dealing with a lot internally, and isolation can lead to spiraling. who knows, maybe you find a community that is better than what you have left, or maybe you find people who motivate you to pursue whatever you discover is next for you and see you off into the next chapter of your life.
basically, you’re gonna have to do some growth. like all growth, it’ll hurt sometimes, maybe a lot of the time, and you may have to leave certain things in the past that you weren’t ready to part with just yet, and it’s okay to recognize and process those losses. but so long as you don’t resign yourself to despair, and you find a support network that can bolster your spirit, you can come back stronger and more prepared to head down whichever path this process leads you to discover, and with more confidence and determination than the path you had been going down before. best of luck, friend. I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Jun 18, 2024
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going out with friends, seeing family, etc. might sound like too much for your body and mind during this time but i have always found it much too hard to Not think about people i've lost when i'm alone. dont let yourself fall into a trap of loneliness just because that's what you're feeling. surround yourself with others who love you (there are plenty!) whenever feasible. talk to them about it, or dont; whatever you think will help you. there have always been moments when i am with loved ones after a breakup when i can go even just 5 extra minutes without thinking about it than i would have sitting at home by myself, which is valuable even if you start thinking about it again immediately after. i dont suggest this in. a "just dont think about it" way, as that is impossible and silly, but i do think it helps to speed along the healing process. love is like a home remedy and u still have it all around u. hang in there!!!!
Oct 6, 2024
Top Recs from @sed_paz
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Oh god!!!! lentils!!! You can eat them for days in a variety of ways
Sauté onion, celery, carrots or PARSNIPS
Get some tomato paste and MISO mixed and melted
Cumin, paprika, curry mixes
Lentils, a cup?
Salt obvi
Water, enough to cover and then some (you can always add more)
Bring to boil, cover, reduce
check water levels now and then. should not be soupy, not dry, just a lil saucy wetness
Taste
W sauce, rice vinegar
Taste, chefs kiss?
I eat with a side of lemony arugula and topped with an egg dotted w hot sauce
Can also reheat the next day, add a bit of goat cheese, make salad w arugula, pass out ur so healthy and amazing and tasty
Feb 28, 2024
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You really want ur man plotting and scheming for fun? Thinking three moves ahead ?
Jan 30, 2024
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I made one for summer (kayak, eat corn!) and forgot to make one for fall+winter. Gonna do a spring bucket list (planting, marshy hikes b4 it gets ticky). Doesn’t have to be on theme even but it’s a nice way to engage in the fleeting seasons
Mar 6, 2024