i did the same thing right out of college and basically accepted it was going to be a very difficult period of mourning/grief, living at my parentâs house, and many question marks. accepting it will be painful is helpful- it reminds you it is temporary. freedom is actually thrilling when you realize the whole world is open to you. the opportunity to rediscover yourself happens many times in life often after huge change or loss⌠i have never learned more about myself or grown more than in those periods. grief / transition / uncertainty âŚ. there is much alchemy in these moments. find simple pleasures like .. your favorite playlist of the moment, feeding yourself a good snack, reading articles or books, comfort movies. and then maybe onto bigger, more exciting things like meeting new people, trying out new hobbies, exploring different scenes and industries. trial and error baby! you will look back on this period someday and laugh because life is so long but it all seems so hard at the time. this is just a moment:) godspeed
Jun 18, 2024
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transitionary periods are never easy, and iâm sorry youâre having to let go of so many things youâve come to find comfort in, but not having an immediate sense of what to do next is not necessarily a bad thing. I had a similar phase of moving home after college, and it sucked for plenty of reasons, but it also gave me time and space to settle for a moment and reassess what my path was.
for a lot of people, itâs very easy to follow whatever momentum (career-wise or personal life-wise) theyâve been riding during undergrad and follow that to the next immediate opportunity, and a lot of people find contentment that way! but having an interruption to this sequence provides you with a unique opportunity to interrogate some assumptions you may have had about your future. is this career field really where you see yourself? is this city where you picture yourself settling? are you following the expectations imposed on you by others or are you following your own motivations and values? use this brief intermission to mourn what you are losing, but also to consider what you might build for yourself when freed from the necessity of following whatever path you have been on.
if you donât like the situation youâre returning to, what would be a totally new scenario that would be better for you? envision that, and if the idea is compelling enough, pursue it. until you develop that vision, you may have to do some things to occupy yourself in the meantime that you may not find a lot of fulfillment in. maybe you find a part time job somewhere. whatever it is, if you come to dislike it all youâre doing is tuning your compass. use that to inform what you might prefer to do. but stay occupied! trying and making mistakes and learning is better than being idle.
during this process - and it will be a process, be patient with yourself - find ways to surround yourself with supportive community. maybe thatâs your family, maybe itâs friends youâve maintained in the place youâre returning to, maybe you seek out new community in hobbies you have, or you have cultural or religious communities youâre a part of, or you find friends in the workplace or a third social place. at the very least, they will provide you an escape from the stress of this period, but you could also develop relationships with people who can work though this life phase alongside you. whatâs important, though, is that you create reasons to get out and interact with the world. youâre going to be dealing with a lot internally, and isolation can lead to spiraling. who knows, maybe you find a community that is better than what you have left, or maybe you find people who motivate you to pursue whatever you discover is next for you and see you off into the next chapter of your life.
basically, youâre gonna have to do some growth. like all growth, itâll hurt sometimes, maybe a lot of the time, and you may have to leave certain things in the past that you werenât ready to part with just yet, and itâs okay to recognize and process those losses. but so long as you donât resign yourself to despair, and you find a support network that can bolster your spirit, you can come back stronger and more prepared to head down whichever path this process leads you to discover, and with more confidence and determination than the path you had been going down before. best of luck, friend. I hope you find what youâre looking for.
Jun 18, 2024
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Itâs a blessing when big changes come all at once. The absence of the relationship wonât be a hole in the life you had because youâre going to have a new one! Let yourself get caught up in all the adjusting youâll be doingâmoving, new friends, job search, gigs. Process, live the pain, etc. but in moderation⌠Itâs harder to move on and look forward to change when intense loneliness/inactivity feels like a sign that things would be so much better if you were just together again. Enjoy, build up a network of care. Lean on your friends and family A LOT. Prioritize seeing the people who love you. Get on a plane or a bus or whatever you have to do, it is essential to get quality time with the beloveds during this period of loss and transition. Speaking from experience lol xoxoxo good luck <3
Jun 18, 2024
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first of all, Iâm so sorry to hear abt this :( job market is absolutely shit balls insane, and to reach the finish line and be pulled out must feel super heavy.
thatâs the first part. acknowledge the fact that it sucks ass, and validate how you feel. give yourself a day or two of moping, self-pity. it is so valid of you to feel frustrated or discouraged. within the sadness, give yourself grace. make sure you parent yourself with gentle self talk, buy a sweet treat or take some time to talk to loved ones, leave the house, even if you donât feel like it.
Make sure the self pity doesnât lapse into negative paradigms. from my own experience, what I define as âfailureâ will trigger old voices and experiences to come back into the present moment.
understand that no matter what, no matter what the outcome, you are enough. you are on the right path, making all the right choices.
something that helps me move forward, is remembering that life is a giant current of energy. time isnât linear, but we are, to an extent. if you have some ideas of what you want for yourself in the future, that source of energy/ desire must have something at the end of that current.
ie: the person that you are now, is built up of all the versions of you that came before you. you did that! and whoâs to say that your future self right now, isnât beaming down on you in the same way?
I have pretty intense rejection sensitivity. listening, moving, sitting-with & releasing (crying, writing, indulging in bits of joy adjust the sadness) helps to ease into the current, rather than against it.
good luck to you on your soul/job search! this is only one hurdle, there is possibility just up aheadâŚ.
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Jul 24, 2024
Top Recs from @rlyblonde
plugging myself because obviouslyâŚ
if you are an overthinker, party girl, have fire sign placements and/or anxiety, enjoy liz phair, olivia rodrigo, sheryl crow, or the strokesâŚ. perhaps give it a whirl. it has found itâs way to many âsummer 24â playlists and that makes me smile :) there is also a very funny music video on youtube. thanks all music lovers for considering
Jun 28, 2024
there is nothing better than a solo date to see a band you love. no shouting over the crowd to your date, freedom to dance as crazy as you want, peak people-watching. get as drunk as you want, who cares. talk to a stranger or donât. tip the bartender and merch person, befriend the bouncer. you are the main character when you are on an adventure with yourself. who knows you better than youâŚ? music is so euphoric and transformative, i will always cherish my solo concerts
Sep 12, 2024
how has no one said this one yet? chappell is winning music right now and this tiny desk certainly was part of that. between the stripped down live arrangements, matching pink band outfits, comedic personality in between songs, the wig (insane), and her VOICEâŚ.truly this performance is beyond i could watch it a million times
Jul 2, 2024