I think this is the second time Iāve talked about this on this app but in 2016, i was almost at the site of the Brussels airport bombing. It killed 35 people and the only reason I wasnāt there was that I saw a beautiful old woman drinking her bright red orange juice outside in the early fog of Ghent and I missed my train by 30 seconds because I stopped to see the color.
When I survived, I knew I had to come back to the US and transition. For weeks afterwards, transportation in the region was a mess. I first heard this song during that time and itās haunted me since:
āMaybe tomorrow honey / some place down the line, Iāll wake up older / so much older, mama / Iāll wake up older and Iāll just stop all my trying.ā
Jun 21, 2024
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But especially Tangled Up in Blue -
āBut all the while I was alone
The past was close behind
I seen a lot of women
But she never escaped my mind, and I just grew
Tangled up in blueā
Feb 12, 2024
the great Bob Dylan
Grandpa died last week
And now heās buried in the rocks
But everybody still talks about
How badly they were shocked
But me, I expected it to happen
I knew heād lost control
When he built a fire on Main Street
And shot it full of holes
Oct 8, 2024
the most beautiful song i have had the pleasure of hearing in this life. reminds me to keep living as much as i can for as long as i can.
You know the next time might be your time To love and honor
To take the bother just to see this thing through
Is that what friends are here for?
Sep 19, 2024
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No screen Sundays. If I want to listen to music its CDs or radio. If I want to watch a movie, no I donāt. If I want to see a friend, I will make plans with them on Friday or Saturday to meet up. As a result, I read more, write more, and sit with questions like ādid Citizen Kaneās 50 year winning streak in the Sight and Sound critics choice survey end in 2012 or 2022? When did Stephen Merritt come out? Whats the etymology of Whitsun?ā
This is something that I have practiced off and on for many years but Iāve been doing it every week since December and I love the way that it just allows me one day of true freedom and rest.
Jan 22, 2025
Mar 3, 2025
My calendar this year has 52 of these week at a glance pages but I donāt think that way. So, I've been inspired by Ross Gayās Book of Delighs to start recording the little moments and sensations that bring me joy throughout the day. An analog pi.fyi, if you will.
heres some of what I have so far:
- Waking up to the sound of my upstairs neighborās footstep. It sounded nostalgic. Felt like company.
- Strawberry jam
- feeling tender for strangers: their lips, nail colors, their small wrists. Thinking of all the lives we hold gently.
- A young girl bought an LP at the bookstore just before I left. She stroked its cover with love
- Green tiles āthe mint shade always makes me think of Jancie
- Charlieās little bop and punch dancing to some German language punk
- lunch with Katherine, curry Brussels sprouts
- small talk at the photo studio. The photographer's brother was named after their dad, stole his identity, bought jet skis.
Jan 13, 2025